Bitter Sweet Heart (Lies, Hearts & Truths #2)(94)

“Okay. Unpack that for me. Tell me what makes it complicated. Are you truly concerned about what our peers will think?”

“I don’t want people to think I’m taking advantage of one of my former students, or that I would abuse my power like that.” I press my fingers to my temple, the truth of it finally settling in. “Oh my God, Soph. What if I’m exactly like Gabriel?”

Her eyes widen. “Why would you think that? Where’s the connection? How do you make the leap from going to see your boyfriend play hockey to being a manipulating control freak who intentionally removed all your support systems and now refuses to sign divorce papers?”

One of the best things about Sophia is her ability to make me vocalize my thought process. It’s why she’s so good at what she does.

“I pursued my student, just like Gabriel pursued me.” My chest tightens at the thought. “Am I repeating history?”

“Let’s back up for a second. As soon as Maverick became your student, you did exactly what you should have to protect yourself and him. You passed his assignments over to your TA to avoid a conflict of interest. And you didn’t pursue Maverick; he pursued you.”

“But I kept letting him into my life.” I close my eyes a moment. “Okay, okay. Think about how this looks from the outside, though. My ex-husband shows up at a school sporting event to what? Confront me publicly? Did he come into the arena? How long was he watching me?”

At the end of the game, I’d been stopped by a few students who wanted to chat. My plan had not been to stick around so long that the team came out.

I hadn’t noticed Gabriel until I was at my car, and he stepped out of the shadows. He seemed ready to snap, not in control the way he usually presents. He told me he knew what was going on, and then Maverick had come outside with his parents, and Gabriel had homed in on him, instead.

I finger the tiny origami charm at my throat. “Has he been following me this entire time? Or is this another one of his tactics to gaslight me?”

“This is why I think it might be time to consider the order of protection. He knows he’s supposed to go through the lawyers.”

“But then I’ll have to admit I’m involved with a student. Is he purposely backing me into a corner so I have to out myself? Or is this some convoluted way to try to get me to stop seeing Maverick?” I can’t get any of these answers if I don’t talk to Gabriel, but I also don’t want to give him the satisfaction of caving, which again, is what he wants.

Sophia echoes my thoughts. “Based on what I know about him, I don’t think you’re too far off base. This was clearly a ploy to get a reaction out of you. I don’t like that this seems to be his new strategy.”

“I’ll talk to my lawyer in the morning and find out the procedure for an order of protection.” It’s not an answer, but it’s something. “This is such a mess, Soph. I can’t even begin to consider how difficult this is going to be for Maverick or what his parents must think. How could I ever face them after this?”

That’s a pointless question since I don’t even know where Maverick and I stand. Whatever we are is supposed to end when he signs a contract.

Sophia shifts to look at me carefully. “The bigger question is, do you want to face them?”

“I don’t know.” But even as I say it, my heart tells me it’s not the truth.

“You don’t know because of what happened with Gabriel, or you don’t know because you haven’t thought that far into the future?”

“Why do you always ask the hard questions?”

“Because I’m your best friend and I’m a therapist. It’s what we do.”

“I feel like an idiot.”

“Why?”

“Because I allowed myself to fall for someone I can’t logically have a future with.”

“Because his career path is going to take him to another state.”

“That’s one reason,” I mutter.

“Here’s what I think. You’ve set up a whole bunch of barricades to make this relationship more difficult than it needs to be. I understand keeping it quiet until you’re no longer part of the faculty for all the reasons we’ve talked about. No one wants to be the fodder for that kind of gossip, so I get it. But if you shed the other fears, particularly the age gap between you, and just look at the relationship you’ve formed with him, would you want to try to make it work, distance or no distance? Do you think he’s worth the risks and the challenges?”

I voice the truth I’ve been trying to suppress for months now. “I feel like I’ve met my soul mate.”

“So that’s a yes.” She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Find out if he’s in the same place you are, and if he is, decide where this is going to go.”

I nod. I know she’s right.

It feels a lot like my stomach is going to turn itself inside out as the minutes tick by while I wait to hear from Maverick. It takes more than half an hour before that happens, and all I can do is run through worst-case scenarios with Sophia.

Five minutes after he messages asking if it’s okay for him to come over, there’s a knock on my patio door. As soon as he steps over the threshold and closes the door behind him, my face is in his hands, and his lips are on mine.