Bitter Sweet Heart (Lies, Hearts & Truths #2)(101)

“But necessary.”

She hums her agreement. “Do you want to come back here after? We can celebrate together? I’ll pick up a bottle of champagne.”

“That sounds better than perfect. I can make us a dinner reservation somewhere if you like? Unless you’d rather order in?”

She runs her hands over my chest and fidgets nervously with my collar. “Maybe we could stay in? Save dinner out for another night? Unless you want to celebrate with your friends?”

“The only person I want to celebrate with is you.” I kiss her on the cheek and reach around her for the spatula.

“Okay.” She smiles, but it seems a little sad.





When I get home, the front foyer is crowded with Lavender and Kody’s suitcases. Their flight to New York leaves this afternoon, and now that the day is here, I feel like I haven’t had enough time with either of them. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own relationship. I guess that’s normal, but I still don’t love that this may be the last time the three of us are in the same city for what could be a lot of years.

It makes me nostalgic for my youth. I can almost see Clover rolling her eyes and biting back a comment if she could see inside my head. I drop my backpack on the bench and kick off my running shoes, tucking them into a corner so they’re not in the middle of the floor, and head for the kitchen.

“What’re you smiling about? And where the hell have you been? You can’t wear jogging pants to your convocation. Mom will lecture you for hours, and we’ll all have to listen to it.” I look up to find River leaning against the counter with a bowl of cereal in one hand and a spoon in the other. He’s wearing black dress pants, a white button-down, and a rainbow tie, his customary scowl decorating his face.

“Nice tie.”

The furrow in his brow deepens as he looks down. “Josiah gave it to me.”

“Yeah, he did.” I grin.

River smirks. “I have matching boxers too.”

“What about condoms? You got those to match as well?”

“Not yet. But I’m sure they’re coming. Seriously, though, where the hell have you been?” He sets the empty bowl in the sink.

“Just tying up some loose ends. I’ll be down in fifteen. I need to put on a suit, and I’m good to go. You catching a ride in with Mom and Dad?”

“Nah. I’m gonna drive over with Lav, spend a little time with her before she gets on the plane.” He tucks his hand in his pocket, and his lips pull to the side.

“She’s gonna be fine. She’ll have Kody there with her, and she’ll be back at the end of August.”

“Yeah.” He tugs at his bottom lip with his teeth. “I don’t know if she’ll be back, though.”

“It’s just a summer internship.”

“I feel like she’s spreading her wings, and when she flies, she’s going to soar,” River adds.

“How you feeling about that?”

“Okay, I think. Kody loves the fuck out of her, and she’s got bigger balls than all of us. If anyone deserves this, it’s her.” He smiles, and even though it looks a little sad, it’s genuine.

River has always worn his heart on his sleeve. If he felt something, we knew about it. But he hid the most important part of himself, who he really is. And I realize maybe I wasn’t here for him as much as I should have been this year. Or maybe we’ve all just found our own ways of dealing.

I clap him on the shoulder. “You know, it seems a lot like you and Lavender are in the same place at the same time. It’s fitting.”

“I never thought about it like that, but yeah, I can see it.” He nods slowly. “I don’t think I realized until recently how much you sacrificed for us.”

I give him a questioning look. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“This was your senior year. You could have lived with your hockey buddies, probably should have, but you put me and Lav first. So I hope that whatever’s going on with you, it’s because you’re putting yourself first for once.”

I stare at my younger brother. “Are you high?”

He rolls his eyes. “No. I’m not dumb enough to do that when we’re going to see Mom and Dad. I’m just saying, you’re a good brother.”

“Oh. Well, thanks.”

He pulls me in for a hug I don’t expect, then pushes me toward the stairs, telling me I need to shower off my stank.

River’s words stick with me as I get ready for convocation—and not the ones about the stank. I’m ready for this chapter of my life to be over.





Thirty-Five





Awkward Conversations





Clover





I feel ill, like I might toss my cookies at any moment. I’m trying to stay engaged in conversation with my colleagues, but it’s a challenge when my boyfriend and his parents are less than a hundred feet away and currently celebrating the fact that their son has graduated college.

Professor Longley—a man in his mid-forties, who has on more than one occasion this semester asked if I’d like to have coffee, and I’ve always been busy—is droning on and on about the different kinds of coffee beans and how the ones they use at some café downtown are the best. Mary Connor, one of the sociology professors, is hanging on his every word. I wish he would get a clue and ask her out, since it’s clear she’s into him.