Best Kept Secrets(131)

your grandmother would be at prayer meeting at the Baptist

church. After the service she always stayed for choir practice,

so I knew that Celina and I would have a couple of hours

alone to sort things out.

"When I got to her house, I knocked several times, but

she didn't come to the door. I knew she was there. The lights

were on in the back of the house where her bedroom was. I



thought maybe she was in the shower or was playing the radio

so loud she couldn't hear my knocking, so I went around to

the back."

Alex lay still beneath him. Her eyes were no longer narrowed

with animosity, but shiny with unshed tears.

"I looked through her bedroom window. The lights were

on, but Celina wasn't in there. I tapped on the window. She

didn't respond, but I noticed her shadow moving on the bathroom

wall. I could see it through the door. It was opened

partway. I called her name. I knew she could hear me, but

she wouldn't come out. Then--''

He squeezed his eyes shut and bared his teeth in a grimace

of pain before going on. "I was getting mad, see, because I

thought she was just playing coy. She opened the bathroom

door wider, and I saw her standing there.

"For a few seconds I just looked at her face because it

had been so long since I'd seen her. She was staring back at

me. She looked puzzled, like she was asking, 'What now?'

And that's when I noticed the blood. She was wearing a

nightgown, and the lower front of it was streaked with red."

Alex's eyes closed. Large, cloudy tears slid from beneath

her quivering eyelids and ran onto Reede's fingers.

"It scared the hell out of me," he said gruffly. "I got into

the house. I don't even remember how. I think I raised the

window and slipped through. Anyway, a few seconds later,

I was in her bedroom, holding her. We both ended up on the

floor and she just sort of crumpled in my arms.

"She didn't want to tell me what was wrong. I was screaming

at her, shaking her. Finally, she turned her face toward

my chest and whispered, 'Baby.' Then I realized what all the

blood meant and where it had come from. I scooped her up,

ran outside, and put her in my car.''

He paused for a moment to reflect. When he picked up the

story, the emotion that had racked his voice was gone. He

spoke matter-of-factly.

"There was this doctor in town who did abortions on the

sly. Everybody knew it, but nobody talked about it because



abortions were still illegal in Texas then. I took her to him.

I called Junior and told him to bring some money. He met

us there. He and I sat in the waiting room while the doctor

fixed her up."

He gazed down at Alex for a long time before removing

his hand. It had left a stark white imprint on the lower half

of her face, which in itself was ghostly pale. Her body was

now pliant beneath his, and as still as death. With the pads

of his thumbs, he wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"Damn you to hell if you're lying to me," she whispered.

"I'm not. You can ask Junior."

"Junior would back you up if you said the sky was green.

I'll ask the doctor."

"He's dead."

"Figures," she remarked, laughing dryly. "What did she

use to try to kill me?"

"Alex, don't."

"Tell me."

"No,"

"What was it?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Tell me, damn you!"

"Your grandma's knitting needle!"

It had started out a soft exchange but ended on a shout.

The sudden, resulting silence was deafening.

"Oh, God," Alex whimpered, clamping her teeth over her

lower lip and turning her face into the pillow. "Oh, God."

"Shh, don't cry. Celina didn't hurt you, just herself."

"She wanted to hurt me, though. She didn't want me to

be born." Her sobs shook her whole body. He absorbed them

with his. "Why didn't the doctor just take me while he was

fixing her up?"

Reede didn't answer.

Alex turned her head and stared up at him. She caught

handfuls of his shirt in her fists. "Why, Reede?"

"He suggested it."

"Then, why didn't he?"



"Because I swore that if he did, I'd kill him."

An emotion zephyred between them. It was so strong it

knocked the breath out of her and made her chest ache. She

uttered an involuntary, wordless sound. Her fingers momentarily

relaxed in the cloth of his shirt, only to grip it tighter

and draw him nearer. Her back arched off the bed again, not

in an attempt to throw him off, but to get closer.

He sank his fingers into her hair, tilted his dark-blond head,

and pressed his open mouth against hers. Her lips were parted