Benediction (Plainsong #3)(71)

Oh I should go out to her, Lorraine said. Look at her, the poor thing.

No, I don’t think you should, Willa said. She has to do this. This is only the beginning. This is the first day.

In the living room the men sat glancing sideways at each other and looked around the room and peered out the windows.

We kept the store closed today, Rudy said. He cleared his throat. We had to do that.

It was the right thing, Bob said. Out of respect.

I don’t know if it was ever closed before on a weekday. Except for Christmas.

Or New Year’s, Bob said. One of the holidays.

I brought these flowers, Richard said.

They stared at him.

On the table here.



After a while Richard stood up and went back to the kitchen and tapped on the door. Lorraine came out and went with him to the front porch.

I think I’ll go, he said. There’s no point in me being here right now.

I thank you again for coming.

So I’ll see you tonight, he said.

No. I won’t be going anywhere. I can’t leave.

I got a motel room, he said. I thought you’d come join me.

I can’t leave my mother. What were you thinking?

I thought you could for a while. It’d be good for you. You need a break.

No.

Well, he said. When’s the funeral? Two days from now. I might as well go on back to Denver, if you won’t see me.

You have to do what you want. But I can’t leave, you know that.

I didn’t, he said. He leaned to kiss her and she turned her cheek. I see, he said. You won’t even kiss me.

Not now. I don’t feel like that.

He looked out toward his new car. There are just all kinds of things happening today and not happening today, he said. Isn’t that right.

You can understand why.

I’ll see you, Lorraine.

She waited on the porch watching him walk around to the far side of the car. He got in and looked at her for a moment. He didn’t wave. Then he put the car in gear and sped off throwing gravel up behind just as a gray cat darted out in the street ahead of him. Oh! she cried. Don’t hit it! The car swerved in time and the cat ran out with its tail straight up and ran into the neighbor’s yard. She watched the car go on up to the highway and turn west toward Denver.

In the house, when she went back inside, Rudy and Bob were standing in the living room, talking to her mother. She could see Willa and Alene out in the kitchen.

I guess we better be getting on too, Rudy said. He looked at Lorraine. If there’s anything we can do, you’ll let us know?

Yes, of course, she said. We appreciate all you do for us.

We wanted to be here, Bob said. You know what we thought of Dad.

Yes, we know, Mary said. You’ve both been very kind. You’re good friends.

One thing we wanted to ask you, Rudy said.

Yes?

We wondered what you was thinking about tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Lorraine said.

Because we figured you will want to close the store for the funeral the next day.

Of course.

But the question is. Tomorrow.

What do you think, Mom?

I think Dad would want it to be open. Keep it closed today and again for the memorial, but open the doors tomorrow like always.

That’s what we was thinking, Rudy said. He was looking at Lorraine again. But we thought we should ask.

That would be the appropriate thing, she said. If you will open tomorrow, please.

Well, we better get going, then. We’re sure sorry about Dad. We sure are. His eyes filled with tears. That’s one thing for certain. We’re going to miss him every day. It’s not going to be the same without him down there.

They started to shake hands with Lorraine but she stepped forward and kissed each man on his clean-shaven cheek, red and streaming with sweat and uncomfortableness, and then they both hugged Mary in their warm good suits, their eyes full of tears, and went out the door and climbed into Rudy’s car and drove away.

Then at dusk Rob Lyle came once more to the house. Mary and Lorraine and the Johnson women were out in the kitchen dishing up food and they asked him to join them.

No, thank you, he said. I only came by to see if you were all right.

You can just please stay here and join us, Mary said. We ask you to. You can see all this food. People have been so kind. You’ll be doing us a favor.

Lorraine handed him a plate.

All of these gifts of food are a tribute to your father, aren’t they. And to you and your mother.

People thought so much of him. All over this county, Lorraine said. Help yourself and come into the dining room with us.

They made another place at the big dining table and the women and Lyle sat down and he said a prayer of grace and they began to eat. But after a short while Mary put down her fork.

Mom? What’s wrong?

I can’t eat.

You need to eat something.

I’m not hungry. I don’t feel like it.

You’ll feel more like it tomorrow, Willa said.

Maybe I will. I don’t know that.

Then suddenly the front door burst open and Berta May came rushing in. Alice! she cried. Is Alice here?

They all stood up from the table and gathered around her.

I don’t know where my girl is. I told her she had to be quiet. I told her you was grieving over here so she couldn’t make no noise. So I let her ride her bike. But, oh I’m afraid she took me too serious. She must of went someplace. Oh, I’m just afraid she’s got hurt or somebody’s done something wrong to her.