Before I Let Go (Skyland #1)(6)

That everything that had happened wouldn’t be worth it.

“It’s not about me being strong enough.” He finally looked over at me, and there was something in his gaze that I couldn’t place. “It’s about what we become together. It’s about the choices we’ll make as mates.”

“And what if that’s not what I want? What if I don’t choose to be everything that the world has deemed me to be?”

“I fear you don’t have a choice in that. Neither of us do.” He didn’t take his gaze off me as he lifted his hand and pressed his fingers to my cheek. “But if I did have a choice, Adara, I would choose you.”

I shook my head as I watched him because I couldn’t allow myself to believe his words. Believing them made me weak, they made me vulnerable to being hurt even more than I already was.

“I would choose you over anything, princess.”

He leaned forward and closed the space between us, and I didn’t stop him. I simply let my eyes fall closed as he pressed his mouth to mine and kissed me with desperation that was far too familiar to my own.

His kiss felt like a brand. It felt like an apology that he would never be able to say with his words.

And I chased the feeling of it. I kissed back just as hard, and I moaned into his mouth when his hand grazed over my neck. I wanted him.

I wanted his body, his passion. I wanted him to make me forget everything but this moment we were in.

I wanted to forget that I was the Starblessed and he was the prince of both blood and magic. We were mates, and I wanted to think of nothing else in that moment.

But he slowed the kiss, and reality crept its way back in. He pulled away from me slightly before pressing another gentle kiss to my mouth.

He searched my face, and there was so much indecision staring back at me in his own.

“We should sleep, princess.” He ran his fingers along my cheeks, and I could see him warring with himself. “Tomorrow will bring much for us to face.”

I clamped my eyes shut as he guided me until my head was laying against his chest.

I felt his next words rumble beneath me. “But we will face them together.”





CHAPTER 3





The warmth of the sun was bleeding through the tent, and I moaned at the delicious way it heated my skin. I could stay in this moment forever with my eyes still closed and the kiss of the morning welcoming me. Nothing could touch me there. Not the truth of what the day was to bring. Not the heartbreak that still lay dormant in my chest.

It was just me and the fantasy that my slumber allowed.

I reached to my side, my body craving more warmth than even the sun could provide, and my hand was left wanting. I blinked my eyes open against the brightness that filled the tent and reality came crashing in.

I was still a prisoner to those outside the tent, and I was alone.

Voices were calling orders to one another outside, but I didn’t care about any of them. Evren was gone.

I stayed with him last night when he asked me to, and now, I knew I should have felt relieved that he was gone when I awoke, but I felt foolish.

I threw the small blanket off me and moved back to the side of the tent where my bedroll still laid on the grass. I quickly slipped my boots onto my feet and rolled up my bedding with short, frustrated movements.

I put together Evren’s bedroll as well because I couldn’t stand to look at it any longer. I dropped both by the door of the tent before I took a deep breath and pushed my hair out of my face.

I stepped out of the tent and tried to leave every bit of my insecurities behind me. I was in a camp full of my enemies without my dagger, and I wouldn’t allow them to see that their prince had given me every reason not to trust him, yet I had still given him more of myself than I should have allowed. I was foolish enough to only allow one of them that pleasure, and even though he had already proven what he was capable of, my chest ached with how easily I had given into him.

I moved toward the small fire that still had deep red coals burning at its center, and I lifted my hands out, chasing their warmth.

“How did you sleep?”

I spun my head to the side at the sound of Queen Veda’s voice and watched as she came up beside me. Her dark hair was pulled back at the nape of her neck, and her trousers were coated in dirt and dust from her days of travel. She held out some sort of dried meat in my direction, and I hesitated.

“I’m not going to poison you, Starblessed.” She chuckled softly and held it out further in my direction. I noted the dark circles under her eyes as she raised her chin. “If I did, this would all be for nothing.”

“Don’t call me that.” I took the meat from her hand, but I still didn’t bring it to my mouth.

“Starblessed? That’s what you are, isn’t it?” She was studying me as she spoke, gauging my reaction to her words.

“These marks on my skin aren’t a blessing.” I shook my head and looked back to the fire. “They have done nothing but damn my fate.”

“Your fate can’t simply be damned by the way you were born.” Her gaze roamed over my cheeks before falling to my shoulder. “The mark of the stars didn’t curse you. It was people who did that, Adara. People who don’t give a damn if they hurt you as long as they can control you and weaponize you for their own rule.”