Before I Let Go (Skyland #1)(2)

I tried to ignore the noise from the Blood soldiers that surrounded us. They were all watching me carefully even though they had given me a wide berth. They didn’t trust me, and I didn’t trust them.

I trusted no one. Not anymore.

I pushed off the tree I was leaning against and moved toward the tent. He held the flap open for me, and I passed by him quickly, careful not to let his skin touch mine. But gods, I could feel him. Every part of my body felt on edge where his magic was touching me, my marks dying for more, but I held it all in.

I would never allow the heartless prince to touch me again. It didn’t matter that my body craved him.

He was my enemy and my betrayer. I had no business feeling comfortable in his presence or beneath his touch, but I couldn’t explain it. His magic infuriated me, but the way it swirled around me made my marks feel alive and my magic thrum.

He was my enemy, but he was also my mate.

He followed me into the tent, and my spine stiffened as I turned to him. There were two bedrolls on the cold, hard ground.

“You are not staying in here with me.”

Evren ignored my words and moved toward one of the rolls. He groaned as he sat, and I could see the exhaustion on his face. My fingers ached to reach forward and run my thumb over the deep crease between his eyes. Even through my anger, my chest felt heavy as I watched him.

“I am.” His magic tightened around me almost unnoticeably as he started pulling off his boots.

“Then I will sleep somewhere else.” I moved toward the tent opening, but his magic hardened, holding me in place. No matter how hard I tried, he still held me captive in both body and mind.

“You’re crazy if you think that I will allow you out of my sight for even a moment.”

“Because I’m your prisoner?”

“Because you’re my mate.” He set his boots to the side and braced his arms on his knees as he stared up at me. “You can hate me all you want, princess, but that fact is still true.”

I knew he was right. I could feel the truth of his words all the way to my bones, but I refused to accept it. He was supposed to be more, and he proved to be everything I had feared.

And I wasn’t going to be tied to him because fate deemed it so. I was tired of relying on fate and the life she had cruelly handed me.

“I am not your mate.”

Evren clenched his jaw as he stared up at me, and I could see the fury in his eyes. Good. I was furious too.

“You’re not leaving this tent, princess.”

“Says the adoring mate.” I crossed my arms as I looked at him. “Did you take lessons from your brother?”

“I am not him, Adara,” he snapped, his voice shaking with his anger.

“No.” I shook my head as emotion clogged my throat. I could feel moisture pooling in my eyes and that only made my own anger flare. “You’re worse.”

His knuckles turned white as he clenched his fists. “What would you prefer? Would you like for me to let you go out into that camp with men who were just so willing to take you from me? Would you prefer that I let your fate be up to them?”

My pulse hammered in my chest as I thought about what he was saying. “Doesn’t that bother you?” I watched him carefully for anything that would clue me into what he was thinking. “You are their prince, but they were more than willing to rip me from your fingers.”

“My mother is their queen.” He pushed his hand through his hair in frustration, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. “And I lost sight of my role.”

I could feel his anger thrumming through his magic. Fear and anticipation spiked through me as it traced over my skin.

“And what is your role, Evren?”

“I was always meant to get you away from him.” He shook his head in frustration. “But not until he was weaker. Not until I could do so without him knowing it was me.”

“So, what? You were just biding your time as the dutiful brother and son until you could rip everything out from under them?”

Evren stood and moved toward me, and I took a step back against the edge of the tent as his voice snapped. “What I did, princess, was everything that I could to protect my people. You can say I’m as bad as Gavril all you want, but you know nothing of his cruelty.”

His words ricocheted through me and settled deep in my gut. He was right. I knew little of Gavril or what he was capable of, but I was still angry. I still wanted a fight because his words were a reminder that I knew little of him as well.

“And the way you fucked me? Was that for your people, prince? Was that to protect me from his cruelty?”

He narrowed his eyes as he searched my face, and he lifted his dark, magic-stained fingers until they wrapped around the back of my neck and forced me to look up at him. “When I fucked you, that was for no one other than you and me.” He moved closer still, his breath leaving a trail of chill bumps against my neck. “You make me greedy.” His lips whispered over my jawline, and I couldn’t contain the small moan that fell from my lips. “You make me want to forget any duties that I have and just get lost in you for eternity.”

“That will never happen again.” My voice lacked strength, and I hated that Evren could recognize my weakness. I could feel his smile as he grazed his lips against my ear.

“We both know that’s a fucking lie, princess,” he purred. “You want me just as badly now as you did before you saved me with your magic.”