Beauty from Pain (Beauty, #1)(40)

He applauds for me when I finish and I curtsy again. “You’re amazing.”

He thinks that’s amazing? “You know I was just playing around, right? That’s not the kind of stuff I sing for real.”

“Okay, so tell me. What does Paige Beckett sing for real?”

“Music is what feelings sound like out loud. I sing songs that speak from my heart. They tell my story, how I feel.”

“Sing one of those. Pick one that tells me your story.”

“I don’t know.”

“You do know. Come on, tell me your story.”

I’m going to regret this. I know I will. I decide on “According to You” by Orianthi. I strum until I find the desired chord. “‘According to you … I’m stupid, I’m useless … I can’t do anything right … According to you … I’m difficult, hard to please, forever changing my mind … I’m a mess in a dress, can’t show up on time, even if it would save my life. According to you … According to you … But according to him … I’m beautiful, incredible. He can’t get me out of his head … According to him … I’m funny, irresistible … Everything he ever wanted …’”

And that’s as far as I make it before I’m choking on my own words. Shit, I knew I’d regret doing this. I’m mortified as I stand in front of Lachlan with my hands over my face so he doesn’t see the ugly cry.

He gets off the couch and is by my side, arms around me. A moment later, he lifts the guitar over my head and puts it in its case. “I don’t know who he is, but he’s wrong. You are beautiful. And incredible. And funny. And irresistible.”

There’s so much that’s happened in my life to make me feel unworthy of ever being beautiful, incredible, funny, or irresistible. But I don’t want to think of those things. Not now. And certainly not in front of Lachlan.

He lets go of me and takes my hand. “It’s late. Come to bed with me.”

I follow him to his bedroom and shuffle through my bag as he pulls the comforter back. “What did you bring to sleep in?”

I take out a satin lavender slip gown and hold it up for him to see. He shakes his head before reaching into his bureau and tossing one of his T-shirts in my direction. “Here. Wear this.” Yep. We are officially on coitus hiatus until we can get our hands on a different batch of condoms.

He’s seen me naked, but I still turn around to take my clothes off and slip into his shirt. I’m not sure wearing something of his is helping with the coitus hiatus effort because I can’t help but notice how good it smells. Just like Lachlan.

We go into the bathroom together to do our bedtime rituals. He’s on his side and I’m on the other. I watch him in the mirror as he brushes his teeth. It feels so domestic. He glances over and I’m not sure if it’s because he’s sneaking a peek at me or if he feels my eyes on him.

When we’re finished, we climb into bed and he pulls me close. He doesn’t ask me to tell him about the pain I’m hiding. He simply holds me until we fall asleep. It’s something I’ve never done. And it’s beautiful.

–––––

I wake the next morning and my hand reaches for a warm body that isn’t there. The early bird is out of the nest already, which makes me the sleepyhead again, except for the fact that it’s only seven in the morning. That does not qualify as sleeping late in any shape or form.

I don’t find Lachlan in the kitchen, so I walk toward the gym. I hear “Whatever You Like” blaring through the speakers before I reach the door. When I walk in, he’s running on the treadmill and the back of his T-shirt is soaking wet. He’s been in here a while.

His back is to me, but his eyes meet mine in the mirror. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

“Good morning, early bird. Nice song choice.”

“I think so too, although I like your version better. You just missed Snoop Dogg.”

“Hate that. Been running long?”

“Long enough.” He stops the treadmill and reaches for a towel to wipe the sweat from his face. His cheeks are rosy and it makes him look younger, like a child playing in the hot sun.

“I probably need to call Addison to let her know how long I’m staying.”

“How long do you want to stay?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. How long am I welcome?” Listen to me. I’m like Addison now, not wanting to wear out my welcome.

He wipes his neck and chest—jeez, I’d love to be that towel. “I’m leaving to go out of town Monday morning. Will you stay with me until then?”

I don’t have to think about it, but I hesitate for a moment so he doesn’t see how elated I am to be with him for the next two days. “Sure. That’s doable.”

He tosses the towel across the treadmill as he gets off and I know what’s he’s about to do. I see the mischief in his grin. He knows I’m about to run and catches me before I can take a second step. I’m no match for a conditioned runner.

He pulls me against his hot, sweaty body. I wanted to be his towel. Now, I am. Any other sweaty man would be gross, but Lachlan’s not. It’s the ultimate turn-on, but I remember we don’t have condoms since he tossed the whole box of potentially defective ones out last night.