Barbarian Mine (Ice Planet Barbarians #4)(48)

I think of the kit. I held him in my arms for seconds only, and already I want to race back in there and hold him again. I want to stare and count his fingers and toes and check him over once more to ensure yes, he is whole. “It looks like both myself and Har-loh.” I pause and then remember the size of the child, no bigger than my hand. “It is very small. Very small.”

And his eyes are dark.

Vektal makes a worried sound. “We will need to get a khui inside him soon. Right now he is fragile without it to protect him.”

I swallow hard and nod. I haven’t even thought that far ahead, but he’s right. The baby will need a khui or he will weaken and die within days. Terror clutches at me. My mother died on a khui hunt right after I was born. What if I can’t bring down a sa-kohtsk by myself?

I need the tribe to help. I cannot do it on my own. Har-loh is incredibly weak and I cannot ask her to help me hunt one. She needs rest, not a hunt.

Not for the first time, I’m filled with helpless anger toward my dead father. How could he ask such a thing of my mother, fresh from giving birth to me? Was his pride so great that he did not want anything to do with the tribe and so he risked her life? Are they that awful? Am I yet being deceived by their helpfulness?

Vektal claps a hand on my back again. “I will send out the fastest hunters to track one of the sa-kohtsk.”

The lumbering giants could be anywhere. I pause and look over at the chief. “And my mate and kit? How will they get there? Har-loh is too weak to walk.”

He nods as if expecting this. “Raahosh has a sled he uses during his hunts with Leezh. We will use that to carry Har-loh and the child with us.”

What would I do without the tribe’s help? Even if I don’t like Vektal, he is putting his people’s lives on the line to help me and Har-loh.

I do not know what to think anymore. All I know is that I must bury my bundle quickly and return to my mate’s side.




HARLOW



I sleep for a few hours, my dreams fitful and strange. I wake up to the sound of a baby crying, and it takes a moment of disorientation – and the leakage of my breasts – to remind me that it’s my child. Oh. I sit up and reach into the basket next to my bed, pulling my baby into my arms. The leather wrap around his bottom is wet, so I change that, wishing fervently for disposable diapers. I’ll just have to become a real expert at wiping down leather, I suppose. I pull the baby into my arms and tuck him against my breast.

The little rosebud mouth immediately seeks my nipple and he latches on.

God, he’s so beautiful. I watch him nurse, amazed and overwhelmed. He looks like Rukh, but there’re enough of my features there, too. The mixture of Rukh’s alien appearance with my human one should create an ugly mixture, but the baby is beautiful and I feel like he’s going to be even better looking than any child I’ve ever seen. Of course, that might be the proud mama in me talking.

The only thing that worries me is his size. He’s not a plump baby. He’s long, but his legs are skinny and his belly should be more rounded. He stops eating too soon, and dozes back to sleep, and I want to wake him up and make him drink more. I worry he’s not getting enough.

The leather curtain over the cave entrance parts, and Rukh enters, looking tall and handsome and so wonderful that my entire body aches with love. He’s got a small bowl of Liz’s stew with him, and a water skin. I’m hungry, but I’m not ready to let go of the baby yet. I trail my fingers over his tiny head. There’s a faint down but it’s too pale to see what color it will be. I hope he has Rukh’s gorgeous, thick black hair instead of my limp red hair. Actually, if he looked a hundred percent like his daddy, I’d be in heaven.

“You are crying,” Rukh states after a moment. “Are you hurting?”

I ache all over and certain parts of me don’t feel great post-birth but I haven’t given it a second thought. There’s a sweet little baby taking up every bit of my attention. “Am I?” I brush the back of my hand over my cheeks and sure enough, I’m crying. “It’s just emotion, I think. I…never thought I would have all this.” I look over at him, and realize it’s true. I never thought I would have a gorgeous mate that loves me and a baby. A family. Anything. Before the aliens grabbed me for their spaceship? My days were numbered.

“Because of the problem with your head?”

I still at his words. “My head?”

He nods slowly, his gaze fixed on me. “The healer said that your khui works hard because of a past issue in your head. That it is one reason why you struggled with carrying the kit. Your khui was tired.”

Oh. I nod slowly and stroke my fingers down the baby’s sleeping cheek. I keep my voice low and modulated so he can sleep. “There was something growing against my brain that should not have been there. It was going to kill me within a few months. I was terminal. I had no hope.”

“You never told me.”

“When I talked with the ancestor’s ship, it said I was healed. I didn’t think it would continue to be a problem.” I keep stroking my baby’s soft cheek. Of course, I also didn’t think I’d become a mommy.

“This means you must stay here, Har-loh.” His voice is soft and agonized. “I cannot take you away, not when you must be close to the healer. What if your khui grows tired again?”