Baking Me Crazy (Donner Bakery, #1)(23)

Sylvia pushed her tongue into the side of her cheek but didn't answer. I closed my eyes, not really interested in seeing any more of her nonverbals.

Connor kept going. "So imagine five years go by. Would you ever fathom that I still feel the way I did when we were sixteen?"

Sylvia didn't answer right away, and as much as I didn't want to, I opened my eyes to watch her. But I knew what she'd say.

After giving me an apologetic look, she shook her head. "Probably not."

"Thanks for telling me this now," I said to Connor.

"Would you have listened? Would you have attempted anything with her without the clearest of signals that she was ready for more?"

I looked away, and that was answer enough for him.

"Listen, no one doubts the sincerity of your feelings. We all love her, we all consider her a part of the family, but you need to pull your head out of your ass and start trying."

Sylvia's eyes widened. "Especially if she's got a hot guy who's helping her learn how to walk." She sucked in a quick breath between gritted teeth. "That's some wicked competition right there.”

"She already knows how to walk, Syl. Let's not get dramatic. He's just helping her with some exercises to build up her strength."

Sylvia held up her hands. "Fine. Let's diminish his role if it makes us all feel better."

Connor gave her a chiding look.

"What?" she asked. "He came here for honest advice, right?"

"I did," I agreed. "Because apparently, my big brother has sat back thinking I'm ridiculous and didn't bother to tell me."

"Would you have listened?" he asked again.

"Okay," Sylvia said, holding up a hand to silence him. "Here's the deal. You just need to start courting her."

I gave her a blank look. "Right."

"If she's having 'date feelings,' then do date things with her. Don't just hang out at your place like you always do. Let her know you're thinking of her."

"I'm always thinking of her," I said under my breath.

Her face went all soft and happy. "I can give you ideas until I'm blue in the face, but Levi, you know her better than anyone. At the end of the day, a woman wants someone who sees her. Who understands her, respects her, and treats her as though she's valued and important and cherished."

I already felt all those things for Joss; they were tightly wound around the core of who I was. Inextricable and inflexible.

Sylvia sat forward and took a deep breath. "Don't get mad at me for asking this, okay?"

I exhaled a laugh. "Hit me."

"We all know you're one of the best advocates she has, outside of herself, but are you holding yourself back because she's in that chair?"

The breath left my lungs in a rush. Connor dropped his head but didn't say anything.

"What the hell, Sylvia?" I asked, standing slowly. "Are you seriously asking if I treat her differently because of what happened to her?"

My voice sounded sharp to my own ears, but to her credit, she never flinched. Sylvia lifted her chin.

"What I'm asking is if you tread more carefully in regard to her emotions because of it, yes. Do you tiptoe around how she feels because of it? If she stood on her feet all day, would you have taken another shot six months later? A year?"

Anger and defensiveness swirled dangerously in my head, and I could feel Connor watching me carefully. He wasn't arguing with her, but he didn't agree with her either.

I paced into the kitchen and braced my hands on their counter, my head dropping down as I took a few deep breaths.

"I can't answer that," I said, words coming up like I'd yanked them from my throat with a rusty hook. "Because you're asking me to imagine a world that doesn't exist."

Sylvia's brow furrowed at my response.

"I'm not mad at you for asking, but Joss has to view the world differently because of where she sits. That's her viewpoint. Her chair, her legs are a part of her reality. Just like I can't look at the world from yours or Connor's viewpoint, I can only look at it from mine. She is not just a small part of my reality, Sylvia; she's the most important part of it." I straightened and met her gaze head-on. "So yes, I took her situation into consideration when I made my decisions, and maybe that makes me ridiculous, but I wouldn’t change anything. I don't regret a single day of the past five years because for those five years, she's been my favorite person in the world to spend time with."

I didn't even realize Sylvia was crying until she swiped a hand over her cheek.

She sniffed. Connor smiled softly, rubbing the top of her leg.

"Okay," she said in a watery voice.

"Okay?" I huffed out laugh. "Just okay?"

Sylvia got off the couch and walked toward me, wrapping me in a tight hug when I turned to face her. "She's really lucky to have you, Levi."

I set my chin on her head and smiled. "I've always thought so."

Connor rolled his eyes, and Sylvia laughed.

After she pulled away from me, Sylvia grabbed a tissue from the box on their counter and noisily blew her nose.

"You have to ask her to the wedding, Levi."

"I know," I said wearily. "But that feels like a cop-out for a first date option."