Baking Me Crazy (Donner Bakery, #1)(21)

Shit. He was a nice guy.

"I remember," I admitted. "Not that I paid much attention to him."

"Can't blame you," she said evenly. "It's not like you'd expect to see someone flirting with me."

I gave her a long look, which she returned with one eyebrow arched up. "That's not what I said, and it's not what I was thinking."

Now it was Joss's turn to deflate. "I know. This is all so, I don't know, foreign."

It was impossible not to shake my head at the thought that no one had ever flirted with Joss. "This doesn't make sense, Sonic. There's no way this has never happened to you before."

"Gimme a break," she said, sounding as tired as she had when she first woke up. "Don't play that game where you act like my chair doesn't matter, or that the world should be blind to its existence. It doesn't work that way, and you know it."

It would be so easy to rise to the bait and argue with her about what I saw when I looked at her; that I did think people were stupid if they looked at her and only saw the cold lump of metal and plastic that happened to help her get around.

"I know it doesn't."

Joss stared down at her lap, then glanced briefly at her chair, locked into place next to the couch.

Foreign was a good word for this whole damn exchange. Maybe I didn't notice her chair anymore. But I was an idiot in a whole different way because, up until this moment, I damn well took for granted that this hadn't come up before.

It was only a matter of time before someone looked at her and saw what I'd seen five years ago. As I sat and watched her, I knew that I'd been a lucky asshole that it took this long. But it wasn't lucky for her. She deserved to have men seeing her, noticing her, being interested in her. I just … wanted her to end up with me outside of all that.

Choosing my next words carefully, I took a deep breath.

"It doesn't make sense because you are an incredibly smart, funny, beautiful woman, Joss, no matter where you sit. It doesn't make sense to me that there are men out there who could possibly not see that."

She didn't want to look at me. Joss kept her eyes trained down at her lap, and she sniffed.

"You know," she said after a long moment, "your mom made me cry today too."

"That bitch."

Joss laughed, finally looking up at me. It had been a long time since I'd seen her cry, and I forgot what it did to the color of her eyes. It deepened the blue and made the black of her lashes darker.

"It's never bothered me that I didn't have date feelings or that I didn't know what it felt like to have someone flirting with me." She swallowed roughly. "But today, in PT, with him acting perfectly professional, I fell twice. Hard. And I hated how embarrassed it made me when I had to pull myself up."

I had to breathe through my almost violent desire to check her body for bruises. To run my hands over her legs to soothe whatever hurt might be left over and pull her in my arms because I knew how much she hated falling in front of people. Even now, she didn't like walking in front of me.

"Date feelings suck, Levi."

"They don't always suck," I said quietly, keeping my eyes on her face.

Joss blew out a slow breath. "I'll get over it."

"It's not always that simple, you know?"

Her teeth flashed white behind her pink lips when she smiled. "Oh, yeah? You seemed to get over what's-her-name from Maryville pretty easily."

I played dumb. I'd only dated one girl from Maryville in the past two years, and I liked that Joss was paying attention. "What's her name?"

She gave me a look. "The crazy one."

"Ahh, yes. Mallory."

Joss rolled her eyes. "She was one step away from stealing a lock of your hair."

"That she was." I grinned at her. "Okay, yes, those date feelings are simple to get over."

With a groan, Joss sat up and pulled the blanket off her legs, lifting them so that she could reach for her chair.

"Heading home?" I asked pointlessly.

"Yeah. My mom is sleeping all day because she has to work tonight, and Nero probably needs to be let out."

I wished I hadn't gone for such a long run so I'd been back earlier. Normally, I didn't get this desperate edge when she left. Maybe it was the topic. Maybe it was the tall, muscular, probably stupidly handsome, generous tipper who was giving my best friend date feelings that had me jittery to see her leave.

"Want me to go get him? I can bring him back here if you want to hang out longer."

She braced her hands on her chair and slid over, flipping the locks and sending me a quick smile. "No, it's okay. Thanks, though."

I walked her out, following behind her chair as she headed across the driveway.

"I work tomorrow morning," she said as she hopped into the driver's seat. I took the chair and put it in the back hatch of her car.

"Sweet. I'll come by for another pecan roll."

Joss shook her head and smiled at me.

I didn't breathe normally for at least two minutes after she pulled out and drove home. That shit should've just earned me an Oscar nom because inside, my body was freaking the hell out.

I needed to talk to Connor. Now.