Bad Boy Blues(90)

“You okay?”

That’s Zach.

He asks me the same question in that same low voice of his. It’s concern.

“Yeah.”

He puts away the glass and drags a chair to the bed, taking a seat. “Where’s Dad?”

And just like that, his concern is gone and is replaced by hardness.

“Meeting,” his mom replies.

“Of course.” He picks up the TV remote from the nightstand and begins to fiddle with it. “A movie, okay?”

His mom nods.

“Was he here when the doctor came?” he continues but his eyes are on the TV. He’s staring hard at it but I have a feeling that he knows nothing of what’s happening on the screen.

“Don’t start, Zach.”

“He wasn’t here, was he?” Running his teeth over his lower lip, he shakes his head. “Fucking typical.”

“Zach.”

Somehow, her voice gets stronger and she looks stronger too. Like a trick of the light. But maybe that’s how she’s fooling everyone. She’s the kind of woman who can put on a face when the occasion calls for it.

“What?”

“Let it go. Your father has other duties. He has a company to run.”

“Yeah, his fucking company. It will all fall apart without him, won’t it? He can’t even stay home to find out how long does his wife have left to live.”

His mom glares at him. “Stop being so ungrateful. And stop using bad language in front of me. Where are your manners?”

He scoffs.

“Your dad’s done everything for this family. He did everything for you. He’s always wanted what’s best for you.”

“Only I threw it away.”

A curt nod. “Exactly. Do you know how much it hurts him? The kind of son you are. Ungrateful and a troublemaker. But let’s not dwell on such things.” She lifts her chin and pats his arm. “I like this movie. Reminds me of how your father was when I first married him.”

There’s a slight smile on her face as she watches whatever the hell movie’s playing. Zach’s jaw is ticking though.

“Your father was such a handsome man back in the day. You take after him, you know,” she says to Zach lovingly. “When you were born, your dad was so happy. So happy. He looked at me like I was his queen. I can never forget that look.”

A few seconds of silence.

Then, “And neither can I forget the look in his eyes the day he found out that you’re defective. I thought he hated me. You brought on such bad memories for him, you know. Of his own childhood.”

Zach’s grip on the remote is so tight, I can see his white knuckles from here. I’m afraid that they’re going to bust out of his skin.

A few moments pass and she suffers from another coughing fit that Zach helps her through. He gives her the water again. And again, he holds it for her.

When she’s done, he asks, “How’s the wrist?”

“It’s fine. Nothing but a scrape.”

“What’d you tell the doctor?”

She grows stern again. “There was nothing to tell.”

“Bumped into a doorknob, again?”

His mom sighs. “Seriously, Zach. What’s eating at you this morning? Why can’t you let it go? It was simply a harsh grip. Sometimes he loses control. He’s stressed. He has a –”

“A company to run, I know.”

She huffs. “Yes, and a sick wife. And a son who doesn’t mind him.” She looks him up and down. “Why don’t you wear some nice clothes? At least wear them for the parties. Your father hates it when you run around in such tattered clothes. You look like one of the staff.”

“I don’t care what father wants, Mother,” he replies back caustically.

His mom looks at him in outrage. “For the love of God, Zachariah, stop being such a brat. I can’t believe I made the case with your dad to let you stay. Especially after what you did to him. Especially after all the times you’ve let me down through the years. Don’t make me regret letting you stay.”

Zach chuckles harshly. “You made the case for me to stay, Mom, because you knew that your husband wouldn’t stay by your side now that you’re not pretty and shiny anymore. Now that you’re sick and it takes an army to make you perfect for his little parties, Dad doesn’t want you anymore. He won’t even come home because he doesn’t want to see what you’ve become. The man you love doesn’t want you, okay? Isn’t that why we keep it all hidden? Like cancer is some sort of a crime. So you made the case for me to stay even after everything because you don’t want to die alone.”

His mom looks at him with a trembling chin and so much hatred and heartbreak that my eyes fill with water.

“But let’s not dwell on such things,” Zach repeats, sarcastically. “I think I like this movie too.”

And just like that, all conversation is gone.

Even if I stand here for years, I know they won’t talk anymore. All the things they could’ve said to each other, they already have.

This is it.

This is the whole reason why Zach hates love, isn’t it? This is the whole reason why he’ll never love anyone.

A self-absorbed mother who probably didn’t care when her son was getting bullied. A hateful dad who should’ve supported him but chose to beat him down, instead.