Bad Boy Blues(85)

And to show them, I took a huge bite of the fuzzy candy and moaned. Art went ew but Zach watched me with a hunger that he usually keeps reserved for the nights.

Anyway, the sun’s setting and the sky is purple, and I think it’s time to head out.

Art’s dragging his feet and so Zach heaves him up and sits him on his shoulders. My steps go unsteady for a second at seeing the cutest little kid on the shoulders of the most beautiful guy I’ve ever met.

My two boys.

We’re on our way to the exit when Art spots a giant alligator he has to have or he’ll just faint right here. It’s to be won in a game and Zach approaches the counter.

Sighing, I begin to follow but my eyes get caught up at a different stand. The chalkboard by its side says, Written in the Stars. And there’s a sketch of a mountain, a lake and a moon with twinkling stars.

The tent’s navy blue with off-white stars all over, and wind chimes hang off the cloth ceiling.

It’s a fortune teller.

I’ve never been a big believer but something makes me approach it. A lady sits at the counter and upon noticing me, she smiles.

She looks… normal, a little bit older than me.

I mean, no chains or beads or a million rings to show off that she can see the future. She is wearing a poncho though, and a purple band in her red hair.

“Hi there,” she greets me.

“Hey,” I say, feeling a little stupid. “I don’t…”

“You don’t believe?”

I hug the giant teddy bear Zach won for Art by throwing a ring around a bottle. “Do you?”

She sits back in her chair, still beaming. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“I’ve heard that you guys are just people readers.”

“Yeah. But that’s what fate is, isn’t it?”

“Uh, fate’s what?”

She shrugs. “About people. It’s not something magical. Though there is some magic. But mostly, it’s about us, what we want.”

“Really?”

Smiling, she nods. “Yeah. Really. They say fate is unkind and cruel to them. But maybe fate’s just doing what they want it to do.”

Scoffing, I roll my eyes. “Are you saying that people want cruel things to happen to them?”

“No. But sometimes cruel things happen because you’re forging your way into something wonderful.”

Right.

It was a mistake. I’m stupid.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” I’m ready to leave but something makes me blurt out, “My parents died last year. I don’t know what could possibly come out of that that’s wonderful?”

She nods her head somberly. “Death’s cruel. No two ways about it. But with death, comes life. Maybe you’ll find life one day. Down the road, I mean.”

Life.

Something bitter rises up in me. I’m not proud of it but it’s there. I can’t ignore it.

The truth is that in the past few days, I’ve come to resent my job. I’ve come to resent my goal that I’ve been so passionate about.

And it scares me.

What do I have if I don’t have that goal? That was the one thing grounding me, the one thing keeping all the sorrow at bay.

“Life? What does that mean?”

She’s back to smiling. “Means something pulsing with too many heartbeats and too much breath. Something red hot and passionate.”

My mouth parts at red hot and passionate.

There’s only one person who makes me feel that way. Who’s always made me feel that way. And currently, he’s trying to win a giant alligator for a five-year-old kid.

“Looks like you already have it.”

I focus on the girl. “Now you just saw my face and read me.”

She shrugs, setting her elbows on the table full of crystal balls. “Guilty. But actually, I saw you with him.”

“With who?”

“That guy over there. In the black t-shirt with that kid on his shoulders.”

She’s pointing toward him at the next booth and my eyes follow.

Zach’s gaze turns at the same time and his eyes are hot. Blazing, even.

His eyes are hypnotic.

Somehow, I manage to wave at him and look back at the girl.

She’s smirking. “Told ya. You can’t keep your eyes off him. I saw you guys walk by.” Then she lowers her voice and it comes out like I imagine it must when she’s reading the palms of her customers. “You love him.”

The prediction or observation, whatever it is, hits me in the chest. I even take half a step back like I’ve been pushed.

Maybe by the invisible hands of the universe.

Such a fanciful thought and yet, it fills me with… life.

Too many heartbeats, too much air, red hot passion.

I shake my head instead. “I don’t… I can’t…” A deep breath. “I can’t love him.”

“Why not?”

“Because he, uh.” I sweep a few fly-away strands off my forehead. “Because I work for him. For his family.”

“So?”

“So it’s against the rules.”

“Love doesn’t care about rules.”

I shake my head. “He’s just visiting. And I don’t even know why. He’ll leave soon.”