Archer's Voice(57)

Archer took a tentative step toward me and silently asked permission as he looked into my eyes. I nodded at him, acknowledging his unspoken question, and he took me in his arms and pressed me to him.

I brought my arms up around him and buried my face in his neck, breathing in his clean, rainy scent. I cried silently in his arms for several minutes as he held me, rubbing circles on my back, his warm breath on my ear, his drenched clothing soaking me too. For those few minutes, I was oblivious to the thunder and rain coming down noisily all around us–for those few minutes, it was only me and him, and nothing else.

I wasn't sure what to think. I only knew that this felt right. He was still my best friend, my sweet, silent boy, and I had missed him so desperately that I ached. He had hurt me and yet I clung to him as if my very life depended on it.

After a few minutes, I leaned back, looking up at his face. He looked down at me so sweetly and tenderly that my heart squeezed tightly in my chest.

You hurt me, I said, stepping back.

Sadness filled his expression and he nodded, acknowledging that he knew he had.

Let me fix it, he said, please. I want to fix it. What can I do?

I breathed out, dropping my shoulders. You had sex with another woman, Archer.

He shook his head, I didn't have sex with her, I just… was with her.

My brows furrowed and I jerked my head back. What? I thought you were… wait, what does 'you were with her' mean exactly? I didn't know what he was going to tell me, but relief washed over me when I realized that he hadn't gone all the way with her.

He sighed, running a hand over his wet head, and then shaking his hand down at his side. I… Is this… he sighed again. She took me in the back room and kissed my neck and brought my hands to her breasts. My body… reacted. He closed his eyes for a couple beats and then opened them. She told me Travis had paid for her to have sex with me, but it didn't feel right and so I left. That's what happened. I'm so sorry. I knew it wasn't right, I didn't want that. I mean… I … God. Shame filled his face as he looked down again.

I released the breath I'd been holding and laughed softly, shaking my head. Archer took my chin in his freezing cold fingers and tilted my head up. He looked at me with questioning eyes.

You got a lap dance, Archer, and it went too far. But you said no to her and left. I studied him for a second. Why did you say no? Tell me.

He didn't say anything for a few beats and then, Because I don't want to be with anyone except you. I didn't want her, I only want you. I only want you, Bree.

As we stood there in my doorway, looking into each other's eyes, I noticed that he was trembling and his lips were turning blue, a pool of water on my dry porch beneath him.

I pulled him inside. "Oh my God, you're freezing," I said, my hands busy pulling him. "We have to get you warm."

I walked him into my bathroom and turned on the shower, warm steam immediately billowing out into the small room. I started pulling his clothes off, his sweatshirt and his t-shirt, and he let me, his eyes trained on my face, only helping out where I needed him to. He kicked his shoes off, and I knelt before him and peeled his wet socks off his feet and then stood up again, my eyes moving up his abs to his chest as I came slowly upright. The room suddenly seemed even warmer. I bit my lip and looked up into his beautiful face.

You get in the shower, I said when he was standing in nothing but his jeans. I need to change too, I said, looking down at my wet nightshirt.

He nodded, and I turned jerkily and left the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it for a second, biting my lip again. I groaned softly. "Only you, Bree," I said quietly. "Only you would fall in love with the local, mute loner." But then I grinned. Yes, local, mute loner, but my local, mute loner.

I changed out of my wet clothes and put on a new–cuter– nightshirt. Then I went to the kitchen and put on the kettle. I stood there looking out the window at the rain, waiting for the whistle.

A couple minutes later, I heard the shower turn off and a minute after that, the door opened and I called softly, "In the kitchen."

Archer came in with only a towel wrapped around his narrow hips, rubbing a hand over his hair and looking at me a little self-consciously. I took in his drool-worthy naked chest and the way the towel left little to the imagination as far as his assets went and swallowed.

"I'm just finishing up the tea," I said, opening a couple tea bags. "If you want to gather your clothes and put them in the dryer–it's right in the small closet in the hall."

He nodded and left the room as I finished up, and then re-joined me as I was bringing the tea into the front room. He took one of the mugs from me and we sat down on the couch together, sipping our hot tea in silence for several comfortable minutes.

Finally, he put his mug down on the table next to the couch and turned to me. Can I say something?

I looked at him, and tilted my head, and said, "Of course," and then took another small sip of my tea.

He took a deep breath and seemed to be gathering his thoughts. I've been thinking a lot these past couple of days and… I was trying to be what you want me to be, but… it's a lot for me, Bree. He shook his head slightly. I hated that night–the noise, all the people, the fact that I can't talk. He was silent for a beat before meeting my eyes. I want to make you happy, more than anything, but… He ran his hand over the top of his hair again.