Archer's Voice(54)

I got in my car, and he got in the passenger seat, closing the door softly.

We drove in silence the short distance to Briar Road and when I pulled up in front of his gate, he turned to me in the car, looking at me beseechingly.

"Just go, Archer," I said. I needed to go home and curl up in my bed. I didn't know how to sort through all my feelings right now.

Archer stared at me for a few seconds and then turned and got out of my car, closing the door behind him.

I did a three-point turn and started back to my cottage. When I looked in my rear-view mirror, Archer was still standing at the end of his road, his hands stuffed in his pockets, watching me drive away.

When I got home a few minutes later, I took off my jacket numbly and walked back to my room, climbing back into bed and pulling the covers up over my head. It was only then that I let the tears flow, devastation gripping my heart. He had been with another woman–the man I was falling in love with had chosen to give his first time to some cheap stripper in the back room of a bar. And I knew that I had played a part in making that happen.

**********

I dragged myself out of bed the next morning after all of two hours of sleep. I felt heavy with sadness as I went through my morning routine.

Once I got to the diner, I immersed myself in as much busy work as possible, trying fruitlessly to keep my mind off of Archer. It was a worthless cause though and as I re-stocked the sugar containers at each table, I thought about how hard I had pushed Archer to step out of his comfort zone and be a little social. I wanted to laugh with the irony, and then I wanted to fall on the floor and cry under one of the tables. Instead, I took a deep breath and counted out Splenda packets.

Part of this was my fault. I shouldn't have pushed him to do something he wasn't ready for. I had just thought that maybe he'd never be completely ready, and a little nudge from someone who cared about him was a good thing. He couldn't live on his little plot of land his whole life, never venturing out beyond the grocery and hardware store. I didn't think he wanted that either. But maybe I should have been the one to help him step out into the world, instead of taking Travis up on his offer. Travis. What was his role in this whole thing? I had the feeling it was less than innocent. I had a vague notion that I might have thrown Archer to the wolves instead of helping him break out of his safety cocoon. At the very least, Travis hadn't stopped what happened at the club. Archer was so withdrawn and so shy. Surely, he wouldn't have sought out sex with another woman himself. A pang of hurt pierced my heart, and I wanted to cry again when I pictured him thrusting into some half-dressed woman. I closed my eyes and willed the tears away. I had been cheated on before–I would get over it.

Only… something about this didn't feel like he had cheated on me… exactly. It felt like… something else. I paused in my thoughts. No, I wasn't going to give him an excuse for a choice that was ultimately his. Oh God, I was so confused. And hurt. And confused.

That afternoon, after making a couple batches of my side salads, I called goodbye to Norm and Maggie and headed home for the day.

I remembered I needed a few things at the grocery store and so I made a quick stop there. As I was walking back to my car in the parking lot, my mind still turning over the situation with Archer until I thought I'd scream, I heard my name called softly.

I turned and a woman with short, brown hair and glasses was walking toward me pushing a cart.

I stopped my own cart and turned toward her, smiling slightly. "Hi," I said, tilting my head.

"Hi." She smiled warmly. "I know you don't know me. My name is Amanda Wright. Don't be weirded out about me knowing your name. I'm in a pinochle group with Anne." She smiled again, laughing softly.

"Oh! Okay," I said. "I live right next door to Anne."

She nodded. "I know. She told us about you during our game last week. And when I saw you today, I figured you had to be the Bree that Anne had described."

I nodded. "Well, it's so nice to meet one of Anne's friends. She's been so nice to me."

"Yes, she's lovely." She paused for a minute. "I hope you don't think this is forward, but… she mentioned that you were visiting Archer." She looked at me curiously.

Things had changed just a bit from the last time I'd chatted with Anne, but there was no way I was getting into that, so I just answered, "Yes."

She smiled and let out a breath. "I was his mother, Alyssa's, best friend," she said.

I sucked in a surprised breath. "You knew his mother?"

She nodded. "Yes, and I've always felt… so badly that I didn't do more for Archer when Alyssa died." She shook her head sadly. "I tried to go out there a couple times, but there were all these crazy signs up on that fence, warning about bombs and traps and… I just… I chickened out, I suppose." She looked thoughtful. "Then I heard around town that Archer had sustained some mental damage in that accident, and I just thought maybe his family was more capable of taking care of him and dealing with his situation." She pursed her lips. "Explaining it out loud makes me realize how weak I sound."

"Mrs. Wright–" I started.

"Please, call me Amanda."

I nodded. "Okay, Amanda, if you don't mind me being nosy, do you know what happened to cause the accident that day? Archer won't talk about it, and, well…" I wasn't sure how to finish that sentence, my words fading into nothing.