Almond(34)

“That’s okay, I don’t mind.”

Dora drew in a sharp breath. “You know how you asked me why I run? I feel bad for venting to you then. I came here to apologize. It’s just that you were the first person to ask me that question besides my parents.”

“Oh.”

“So I want to ask you something too, just out of curiosity. What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I couldn’t come up with an answer for a while. If I remembered correctly, that was the first time I’d been asked that question. So I just said truthfully, “I don’t know. Because no one has asked me that before.”

“Do you need someone to ask you that to know? Haven’t you ever thought about it?”

“It’s a hard question for me.” I hesitated. But instead of pushing me to elaborate, Dora found something we shared in common.

“Same here. Right now my dream has kinda evaporated. My parents are so against running, so . . . It’s sad that we share that in common.”

Dora kept bending and stretching her knees. She couldn’t stay still, as if she had an itch for running. Her uniform skirt fluttered. I looked away and got back to organizing the books.

“You handle them so carefully. You really love books, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I’m bidding them farewell.”

Dora puffed out her cheeks with another pfff. “Books aren’t my thing. Words are no fun. They just sit there, embedded. I prefer things that move.”

Dora swiftly slid her fingers along the shelved books. Pitter-patter. It sounded like rain dripping.

“Old books seem all right, though. They have a richer scent that’s more alive. Like how autumn leaves smell.” Dora grinned at her own words. Then, with a quick “See ya,” she left before I could reply.





55


I was heading back home after school. It was a long sunny afternoon. The air was cold and the sun looked down on the earth from a faraway distance. No, maybe I was wrong. Maybe the sun was scorching and the sweltering heat was unbearable. I strolled along the gray school fence and was about to turn a corner. There came a gush of wind. It was a strong blow, coming out of nowhere. Tree branches shook violently, letting their leaves quiver.

If my ears were working correctly, the sound wasn’t from the wind shaking the trees. It was the sound of waves. In a second, leaves of every color were scattered on the ground. It was still high summer, on a sunny day, but for some reason there were fallen leaves everywhere in sight. Orange and yellow leaves cupped their hands toward the sky.

There in the distance stood Dora. The wind swept her hair to the left. Long and shiny hair, each strand as thick as string. She slowed down but I kept up my pace, so eventually we drew close. We had talked a few times before, but I had never seen her so up close. A few freckles sprinkled her fair complexion and her eyes were squinting to avoid the wind, revealing a small double eyelid. When her eyes met mine, they grew wide.

Suddenly, the wind changed course. Dora’s hair slowly changed direction too, whipping over to the opposite side. The breeze carried her scent to my nose. It was a scent I hadn’t smelled before. It smelled like fallen leaves, or the first buds in spring. The kind of smell that evoked contrary images all at once. I continued to walk forward. Our faces were an inch apart now. Her hair flapped in my face. Ah, I moaned. It prickled. A heavy rock dropped down in my heart. An unpleasant weight.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay,” I said. The words, half stuck in my chest, came out in a croak. The wind pushed me hard. To resist it, I started walking faster than I had before.

*

That night I couldn’t sleep. Scenes kept replaying in my head like hallucinations. The waving trees, the colorful leaves, and Dora standing there, yielding to the wind.

I got up and absently walked along the bookshelves. I took out a dictionary and searched it through. But I had no idea what word I was looking for. My body was burning. My pulse beat so loud right below my ears. I could hear my pulse even in the tips of my fingers and toes, which tingled as if bugs were crawling all over my body. It wasn’t very pleasant. My head hurt and I felt dizzy. Yet I kept thinking back to that moment. The moment when her hair touched my face. The scent and the warmth of the air between us. I drifted off to sleep only at daybreak when the sky turned sapphire.





56


My fever came down by morning. But another bizarre symptom appeared. I went to school and saw the back of someone’s head glowing. It was Dora’s. I turned away. That whole day I felt as if a thorn were pricking my chest.

Gon stopped by the bookstore around sundown. I couldn’t talk to him or even listen to what he was saying.

“Dude, you okay? You look pale.”

“It hurts.”

“What hurts?”

“I don’t know. Everything.”

Gon suggested we eat out but I turned him down. He smacked his lips then disappeared. My body felt heavy as I twisted and turned. I couldn’t tell what was wrong with me. I headed out of the bookstore when I bumped right into Dr. Shim.

“Did you eat?” he asked, and I shook my head no.

We went to a buckwheat noodle place this time. Dr. Shim added that the noodles alone wouldn’t be enough for a growing teen and ordered fried jumbo shrimp too, but I didn’t touch a thing. I shared all the weird changes happening in my body with him as he slowly slurped his noodles. There wasn’t much to tell, but because I was rambling so much, it took twice as long as it should have.