All the Way (Hot Jocks #2)(52)

“Come outside with me,” I plead. “I can’t hear myself think in here.”

She relents, giving me a small nod before following me. We’re both quiet on the short walk through the club and down the back hallway that leads to the emergency exit. I have special privileges to park my SUV behind the building—a perk of being on the team, I guess.

Becca sways the slightest bit on the uneven pavement, and my hand shoots out to steady her. But at the last second, I pull it away. I’m not sure she wants me touching her right now. And knowing I may have lost that privilege for good stings deeply.

I hit a button on my key fob to unlock the doors and pull open the passenger side door for Becca, waiting while she climbs inside. After shutting her door, I cross around the front and then get in beside her. It’s dark and completely quiet now—a huge contrast to the thumping noise and flashing lights inside the club. It takes a moment for my senses to adjust.

Inside the dimly lit interior, I turn toward Becca. She smells like lavender and bodywash. God, I want to kiss her.

“Care to tell me what that was, angel?” I ask softly, and I can’t stop myself from scanning her from head to toe.

Her head whips around toward mine. “What are you talking about?”

“Showing up here, dressed all sexy, dancing like that.”

“Are you kidding me right now? You had some girl hanging all over you, and you want to talk about what I’m wearing? Wow, you are an asshole.” Her tone is sharp and filled with disbelief.

“Becca . . .” My throat is dry, and Christ, I’m really not good at this. Though, in my defense, I never claimed to be.

This is why I don’t do complications or relationships, fuck, anything that lasts more than a couple of hours. I’m Owen Parrish . . . number twenty-two, star goalie, playboy extraordinaire . . . and I’m known for an easy good time that ends after one night.

I have no idea how to navigate the complicated dynamics of this relationship I’ve found myself in. And I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to see what’s right in front of me, but yeah, this is definitely a relationship. Another thing I’m realizing in this moment—I’m nowhere near ready for it to be over.

Tears well in her gorgeous blue eyes, and she blinks them away almost as quickly as they appeared. “You know what, never mind, forget it. I can’t do this.”

Her fingers clutch the door handle, fumbling once before pulling it open. The overhead light illuminates the interior, and I touch Becca’s arm.

“Look at me,” I say, and when she does, the hurt in her eyes cuts me even deeper. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“You were right about one thing, Owen,” she starts, voice steady. “I’m not a coward, but you are. I faced my fears and came out stronger on the other side. Meanwhile, you’re still living with the false narrative that you’re a playboy who’s good for nothing more than what you can do with a stick.” Her tone is angry, biting, but worse than that, I worry that every accusation she hurls at me is true.

I swallow, feeling unsure and totally empty.

But Becca’s not done. “Somewhere along the way, I figured out that you were so much more than that. You took care of me, did everything right. I trusted you, and yeah, I guess I shouldn’t have trusted you with my heart along with my body. But I did. I gave it to you, and you took it. All of it. And now you’re going to pretend like you’re incapable of love and this whole thing was just some meaningless fling? Well, fuck you, Owen Parrish.”

My eyes burn. My fucking throat burns. I want to cry. Which makes no sense because I don’t fucking cry. Not even when my team lost the championship. Not ever.

Her hand is on the door handle again.

“Becca, wait.”

She’s practically shaking, she’s so pissed at me. And she has every right to be.

“I don’t want to lose you. The only girl I’m interested in is you.”

She lets out a shaky breath but doesn’t move. She doesn’t pull away from me, but she doesn’t close the door either, so I continue.

“I have no idea how to be a good boyfriend. Literally, no idea. I’ve never done exclusivity before. But I want to do this for real with you.”

The tears are back, and this time, one slips down her pale cheek. I reach across the console and wipe it away with my thumb.

“Say something, Becca. Yell at me if you have to, tell me to fuck off again, but please just say something.”

“Wow, you really do suck at this, don’t you?” she says in a biting tone, her lips curling up in a smirk.

I can’t help but laugh. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Just tell me how to fix it.”

She shakes her head, heaving out a small sigh. “First, you need to start by explaining yourself tonight. I texted you. You didn’t reply. And then I get here and see you letting a girl hang all over you?”

I nod somberly. “You’re completely right. Teddy and Asher wanted to go out. They texted Sara and all the girls, and when we talked this morning, you said you were thinking of staying in tonight. I was going to call you later. And for the record, I had zero interest in that girl. I asked her to stop touching me several times. You can ask Teddy.”

She scoffs. “There are ways to extract yourself, Owen. Just walk away. Do you know how it felt to walk inside that club and see a woman all over you?”