All the Way (Hot Jocks #2)(49)

“Oh.” Stunned, I blink twice.

“I’ll see you around, okay?” Without waiting for my answer, Becca turns toward the exit.

As I watch her retreat, I’m left with just one question ringing through my head.

We’ve been through so much, so why is she scared of being vulnerable around me now?





18




* * *





Forgive and Forget





Becca



Curled up on my couch under a soft throw blanket, I let out a restless sigh.

I know I freaked out a little after the self-defense lesson Owen took me to, but it was only because things were starting to feel too real between us. Too couple-y. I needed a little distance to clear my head and remember that he’s not my boyfriend. He’s a friend with benefits—one of my best friends—and the benefits are amazing. But that’s all. It wasn’t going to help anything if I started pining over him, and that’s why I fled. It’s all good though, because I’ve gotten my perspective back.

My cell phone rings and when I see the name Mom flashing on the screen, I pick up, smiling.

“Hey,” I say.

“Hi sweetie. I wasn’t sure if I’d catch you.”

I shrug. “Yeah. I’m just hanging at home tonight.”

“How’s my favorite child?” she asks.

I roll my eyes. I’m her only child, but I don’t argue the point.

“Things are good. I started seeing someone new,” I say on an inhale, trying to get the words out as quickly as possible—mostly because they feel so strange coming out of my mouth. It’s been several years since anything like this has even been on the table.

“Oh, that’s great, honey.” Mom’s voice is filled with surprise and she makes a happy sound, calling out the news to my dad.

I nod. It is great. Even if I’m certain it won’t lead to something long-term, this trial run with Owen has been exactly what I needed. My confidence has soared just knowing that physical intimacy hasn’t been ruined for me by my past like I had thought for so long.

And as great as things have been, lately I’ve begun to wonder about the expiration date on our arrangement. Neither of us has brought it up, but I fear it’s getting near. Which is all the more reason not to focus on it just yet. Enjoy it for what it is, Bec.

Mom and I talk for another ten minutes. I listen, like a dutiful daughter, while she complains about the church fundraiser she’s trying to organize, and then I fill her in on all the team happenings. She and my dad love hockey and they’re always proud to brag about their daughter who works for the franchise.

A few seconds after we exchange I love yous and hang up, my phone chimes from its spot beside me, and I turn it over to see who’s texted me. It’s Elise.

I can always tell if she’s been drinking based on the number of exclamation points in her texts. If she uses one, she’s probably sober. Two, and she’s had at least one glass of wine. So when I read her message, with its record-breaking four exclamation points, I know that wherever she is, she’s taking full advantage of whoever is buying rounds of shots.

We’re at the club! Come dance with me!!!!

I look down at my grubby old sweatpants and the popcorn I’m cradling in my lap.

A club? It’s a Friday night, yes, but I figured my plans for the evening would consist of me, this bag of Jiffy Pop, and the last few chapters of the romance novel I’ve been reading. Since I went cold turkey on alcohol, my evenings have been much quieter. Borderline boring, some might argue. Maybe it’s time I start easing back into drinking, little by little.

My phone buzzes again with another text from Elise.

Pleeeeease? You haven’t been out with us in foreverrrrrr!!!!

And . . . we’ve officially entered extra-letter territory. Yup, that means Elise is past tipsy and well on her way to intoxicated. Which is why I don’t feel too bad about asking her to be more specific about who the “us” is I’d be going out with tonight. She probably has enough of a buzz to be oblivious to my reason for asking—her brother.

It’s been a few days since I’ve seen Owen, and with his packed midseason schedule, his texts have gotten a little less frequent.

I’m sure the distance between us is nothing but a side effect of the busy season, but that doesn’t solve the issue of the emptiness in both my chest and my bed. It doesn’t help that the text I sent him a few hours ago asking about his plans for the evening went unanswered. But I guess I can’t blame him if he was out with his teammates, trying to shake off some of the pressure they’re under.

Elise replies right away, giving me a better idea of who all is at the club.

Everyone! Me, Sara, Aubree, and Bailey!!!!! And all the guys!!

My mouth tightens into a straight line. All the guys? I was hoping for a bit more specific info than that. My fingers fly across my keyboard as I spell out exactly what it is I want to know. I really have no shame.

Is Owen there?

My stomach clenches from the nerves as I hit SEND, but it’s nothing compared to the knot in my stomach when I read her response.

Yeah but idk. I think he’s about to leave with some jersey chaser who’s all over him. It’s gross.

My lungs seize up as I stare down blankly at my phone.