All Grown Up(45)

Bella rolled her eyes. “Get over yourself. It was one time, and you were far worse at my age. You’re not Dad, and I’m over eighteen now, so you’re not even my legal guardian anymore. I can do what I want.” She whipped the blanket off and stomped to the bathroom. The door slam echoed through the room.

My blood was boiling. “She can’t be fucking serious. If she’s going to act like a ten-year-old and can’t even own up to her mistakes, I’m not so sure she belongs living by herself at college. I still control her finances, and I’ll drag her spoiled ass home.”

Valentina rubbed my arm. “She’s just embarrassed and lashing out.”

“She should be embarrassed.” I walked to the kitchen. “I need a beer. You want a glass of wine?”

“Sure.”

I poured her wine and motioned toward the back door. “Deck?”

She nodded, and I held the door open for her.

I drank my beer while leaning over the deck in silence, thinking.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Val eventually said.

I turned. The moonlight illuminated her face, and it hit me what an idiot I was. I’d killed the mood.

“I shouldn’t have stopped in to check on her.”

“No. You did the right thing.”

I blew out a deep breath and took Val’s hand. “Let’s go back to me telling you how gorgeous you look tonight.”

She smiled. “We can do that.”

I cupped her cheek and leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled back. “Bella’s here.”

I shrugged. “So?”

“What if she sees?”

“Who cares if she sees?” I thought she was being shy, so I reached for her. But she stepped back, out of my reach.

“I care.”

“Why?”

“I just do…”

“Well, I don’t. I’m not going to hide spending time with you all summer. You’re not a dirty little secret, Val.”

“It’s just…inappropriate.”

“Why the hell is it inappropriate?”

“It just is.”

The reason hit me. “You’re ashamed to be with me?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what the hell is it?”

She tried to come up with some bullshit reason, but couldn’t even find one.

I shook my head, pissed off. “Great. I guess you’re not my dirty little secret, but I’m yours.”

“Ford…”

I chugged the rest of my beer. “It’s fine. I’m tired anyway.”

Valentina looked surprised, but said nothing.

“Why don’t I walk you next door?”

She’d told me it wasn’t necessary, but I walked her anyway. After she unlocked the door, she opened it and turned to me. “Do you want to come in and talk?”

I shook my head. “No, thanks.”

“Ford…I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’m sorry.”

Yeah, me, too. Me, too.

I nodded. “Goodnight, Val.”





Chapter 16




* * *





Valentina



I felt awful.

Am I ashamed of him?

He’s a handsome, smart, successful man. What the hell is there to be ashamed about?

Is ashamed even the right word?

Embarrassed?

I felt embarrassed.

The two emotions were similar but with one significant difference. Ashamed was what you thought of yourself. Embarrassed was about what others thought of you.

I was not ashamed. Yet for some reason, I did care what other people would think. Regardless of the distinction between the emotions, the result was the same for Ford: I’d made him feel terrible.

It was late, but I knew I’d never be able to sleep. He might be feeling the same way, so I figured it was best to clear the air. I plucked my phone from the nightstand and thought about what I wanted to say before typing.

Valentina: You were right. I am treating you like my dirty little secret. But it has nothing to do with you or what I think about you. I think you’re an amazing man, and I’m still flattered and bewildered that a guy as great as you would even want me. But regardless of the reason, you do, and I want you, too. I just have this stupid sense of what’s appropriate and inappropriate, and I need to get over it. I’m very sorry for the way I acted, Ford. Can you forgive me?

A minute later, my phone buzzed with an incoming message.

Ford: I’ll need an in-person apology.

I blew out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding and smiled.

Valentina: I can do that. How about I take you out to breakfast tomorrow?

Ford: How about you get your ass out of bed now instead? I’ve been standing at your front door for ten minutes debating on knocking.

I practically leaped out of bed and ran to the front door. Ford was leaning against the house and didn’t move. He waited for me to come to him.

I walked out and stood in front of him. “I’m sorry.”

He slid an arm around my waist and pulled me against him. “You need to stop giving a shit what other people think. Appropriate and inappropriate doesn’t matter if you want something and you’re not hurting anyone.”