Again, But Better(49)
2/26/11
THINGS I DID ON SPRING BREAK 2/18–2/25: A HIGHLIGHTS REEL
Went out and bought The Poet by Michael Connelly.
Read The Poet by Michael Connelly.
Watched Ratatouille.
Got shawarma on Shwednesday.
Stared into space for long periods of time, imagining what everyone else was doing.
Tried to start my book but kept getting distracted by thoughts of what everyone else might be doing and second guessing every word I put on the page.
Started a Lost rewatch (got to mid-season two).
Skyped with the parents more about working in an imaginary doctor’s office.
2/27/11 11:20 p.m.
Everyone got back today, thank god. I gave Babe a giant welcome-back hug and gushed with her about all her adventures, trying to live vicariously through them. When Atticus got back, we spent a beautiful thirty minutes digging into The Poet. He said he’s going to check out the Mortal Instruments series. I’m so excited! I have a reader friend now! Sahra showed me all the stunning pictures she took in Spain and told me she’s in the middle of reading The Da Vinci Code on my recommendation, and she’s tearing through it. Can you believe it? Sahra trusted my judgment. Smart, independent, wise Sahra!
I stayed in the kitchen all day on Sawyer, going back and forth between character bios, the blank document that is my book, and Twitter—while waiting for everyone’s return.
After Sahra, I waited for Pilot because it’s time to have the scary talk, so I can stop being sad with every passing day that we don’t interact. He never came.
Now I’m in bed with Sawyer—it’s 11:30 p.m. We have class in the morning, and there he is through the window. In the kitchen with his computer. Skyping with Amy again! Is that all he does now? Must he do it in the kitchen?
February 28, 2011
Mom and Dad, Last week was spring break. I spent it alone. I think it’s the loneliest I’ve ever felt. I miss our house. I miss Mom’s perfume. I miss Dad’s milkshakes. I miss Aunt Marie. I miss my obnoxious cousins. Who do they make fun of when I’m not around? I miss having a variety of sauces to choose from when I make pasta. I miss telling you guys everything.
It’s time to start our writing prompt for the day. Is it weird that I spend the weekends looking forward to this class?
XO, Shane
22. I Must Dream of the Things I Am Seeking
The Tube is packed with people today. I’m smooshed up against the rear wall, but I can’t bring myself to care because I had the most wonderful day at work. Honestly, it’s been amazing these past two weeks. I finally feel like things are clicking! Everyone said they missed me when I came back last Tuesday after break, and I’ve been shadowing people every day since. Today, Donna asked if I’d like to sit with her as she organized a piece about Rio. She walked me through her process, and she talked to me like I’m part of the team, not just the intern. She asked me for opinions!
I step off the train at the South Kensington stop today. It’s Thursday, not Wednesday, but today calls for a celebratory shawarma. Donna cared what I thought about her piece! As I close in on Beirut Express, I throw myself into a little happy twirl, landing with my hand on the door and yanking it open.
Inside the restaurant, I take a seat at the bar. There’s no one manning the area right now, so I dig Horcrux Nine from my bag, eager to document the day.
I’m clicking on my pen when I hear someone swish back in behind the counter. “What are we having today, doll?”
“Oh, I’ll have—” Before me is the copper-haired woman from the plane and Starbucks and Paris. I almost slide off the stool. I drop the pen, grasping at the table so I don’t fall over. “Jesus Christ! Are you stalking me? What’s happening?”
“How’s it going?” she asks casually.
I’m so confused. I look behind me and then back at her to make sure I’m not hallucinating. Now she’s holding my notebook.
“Oh my god, give that back!” She’s riffling through it. “What are you doing?” I throw my hands up in frustration, trying to make eye contact with anyone else in the vicinity, but no one looks at me. She wraps the cover around to a certain page and drops it back on the bar in front of me.
1/1/11
COLLEGE, TAKE TWO: STUDY ABROAD GOALS
1) Kick ass at internship—turn it into a paid summer job.
2) Make friends you like to hang out with and who like to hang out with you.
3) Kiss a boy you like. Stop kiss-blocking self.
4) Have adventures in the city you’re in. You’ve done nothing in New York City during the 2.5 years you’ve been there, you idiot.
5) Maybe try getting a little bit drunk. Don’t black out or anything, but find out what it’s like in a controlled, self-aware environment. You’re legally allowed to in the UK!
6) Start your great American novel. You’ve spent an absurd amount of time trying to think of the perfect first sentence. Stop it. Just write.
I blink at the list.
“How’s the internship?”
I struggle for words, flabbergasted. “Fine. Great!”
“Friends?”
I roll my eyes. “I have them!”
“Have you kissed that boy you like?” She winks.