A Ruin of Roses (Deliciously Dark Fairytales #1)(71)

“Please.” His voice was barely more than a whisper. Scratchier than normal.

“Water, right? Do you need water?” I moved to get up, but his hand held me firm, still incredibly strong.

“Stay with me,” he rasped.

I cupped his hand. “Of course I will. I’m watching you to see if you need more of the draught. We’ll get you out of this, okay? You will live to fight another day.”

“Please. Keep talking. It helps me know that…I am still part of this world. The other side is sucking at me. I long to give in. But for you, I would have already. The last sixteen years…have been misery. Each day has been worse than the last. I am so tired, Finley. I am so tired of this nightmare.”

Fear pierced my heart. I squeezed his hand between mine.

“More everlass, then? Do you need more now? I know you promised your mother not to voice the family secret, and we will absolutely fight about that when you are well, but you need to help me help you right now, okay? She wouldn’t want you to die so young. I know you think you’re responsible for her death, but Sable said something, and I’ve been thinking about it. Your mother loved you. She would’ve wanted you to be happy. She missed her home”—I was assuming that part from the things he’d said—“and she wouldn’t begrudge you for leaving. She ended up in a loveless marriage with a mad husband and wasn’t even allowed to speak her ancestral language. Why the hell would she want that for you? I mean, look at me. I am not like the other women in this village. I’m wild, and I hunt, and I take risks, and I come home a bloody mess. I don’t care about pretty dresses with ruffles or whether the town hunk wants to marry me…”

His hand squeezed mine, and his body tensed. I blew out a slow breath, checking over those lines on his back again. They were still receding. Maybe there were just a few jolts of pain as they did so.

I kept talking.

“I’ve been this way since I was a kid. People used to tell my mom that she shouldn’t allow me to hang out with Hannon so much. That I was a bad influence on him because he’s gentle and kind and lovely. But she could be as stubborn as a rock. She ruled this house. She would not allow anyone to cow me. She let me wear whatever I wanted. She let me do as I pleased, so long as I was respectful. She trusted me to make the right choices. That’s what mothers do—they guide. They strengthen. They support, and they never stop loving their children. Never. I doubt a rosebush would begrudge her son his wild spirit.”

Tears filled my eyes. “I miss her so much,” I confessed, leaning forward and laying my cheek against the pillow by his head. “I couldn’t save her. The recipe for the nulling elixir wasn’t as good back then. I ran out of time. But you know what? I have to remember that it ultimately wasn’t my fault. The curse and the sickness killed her. I couldn’t beat it at that time, but I will beat it in time for Father. I will. I will not lose another.”

I stroked his cheek, my other hand still around his.

“You know, they were right about Hannon being nicer than me. My mom always argued I’d be a lost cause without him. He hates hunting and fishing and drinking pints in the pub with the lads. He thinks they are all thickheaded apes. He’s right, obviously. He’d actually like the whole hobby situation at the castle. He could probably make a really pretty watercolor. He’s super good at sewing and needlepoint. And you’ve seen how he can nurse people. He and I are as opposite as opposites could be. It’s why we make an excellent team. I’m good at all the things he hates, and he’s good at all the things I hate.”

“He needs a strong mate,” Nyfain rasped.

I startled. Then blushed in embarrassment. He’d said to keep talking, true, but I hadn’t realized he’d sift through each word.

“Yeah. But there are none in this village. I mean, that’s not true. I’m sure there are strong women; they just won’t go against the grain. No one has approached me, for example, to learn how to hunt. Except Sable. I was teaching her about traps and small game before meeting you. But she also likes frilly dresses and looking pretty, so she can hide her weirdness a little better than I could.”

“I like your weirdness.”

“I didn’t think you liked anything of mine.”

“Water, please.”

“Right. Yes, of course.” I pushed back to get up, but one of my legs had fallen asleep. It gave out, and I dropped like a stone, hitting the edge of Sable’s bed and clattering to the floor. “Dang it.”

He jerked and then groaned, his eyes peeling open to peer over the bed.

“I’m good.” I gave him a thumbs-up as I crawled onto the bed. “All good.”

The bedroom door opened, and Hannon stuck in his bleary face. “What happened?”

“I need water for him. My leg fell asleep, and I fell on my head.”

He rolled his eyes and moved across the room to the water pitcher. He picked it up and filled a tin cup. As he bent to give it to Nyfain, I lifted back onto the bed and started to pound the feeling back into my leg.

“Can you sit up, or should we help you?” Hannon asked.

Nyfain tried to lift himself, but his arms gave out, and he fell back down to the mattress. “This bed is as hard as rocks.”

“Same denseness as your head, then,” I said without meaning to.