A Promise of Fire (Kingmaker Chronicles, #1)(104)

His lips find mine again, kissing me deeply. “You want me,” he rasps against my mouth. “I feel it in your body. Hear it in your breath.”

Emotion overwhelms me. His words are so intimate. And true. His hips press down on mine. Most of his weight is on his forearms, his biceps a steely cage. I touch his shoulders, feeling tension there. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”

“This is right,” he argues. “I know it.”

His kisses turn feverish, his tongue demanding. His tunic drags over my sensitized nipples, and it’s all I can do not to rip it off him in order to feel his bare skin on mine. I slip my hands under the fabric, smoothing my palms over his broad back. His skin is like sun-warmed marble, and there’s a delectable dip in the muscle along his spine. I trace the indent with my fingertips, marveling at the sheer physical power above me.

Griffin drops his forehead to mine. “You’re going to have to be a lot more convincing if you want me to stop.”

I try to quiet my breathing. “I have to convince myself first.”

“Don’t,” he urges. “We’re fated. You must know that.”

My throat tightens, starting to ache. “I can’t do this.”

“Why?” His question is a growl.

I have so many reasons, so many fears. “She’ll come after our children.”

He lifts his head. “I’ll protect them. I’ll protect you.” He frowns. “You’ll protect them, and I don’t see much of anything getting past you.”

A sudden sting hits the back of my eyes. “She’ll use them to get to me. She’ll use you.” A fierce protectiveness surges through me. I don’t even have kids, and I’m ready to sacrifice anything for them.

Griffin holds my face in his hands. His thumbs sweep across my cheeks. “I can take care of myself, and we don’t even have children, at least not yet. And she doesn’t need to know if we do. How would she even know?”

I laugh. It’s a little shaky. “You think I won’t bleed? It’s already challenging enough just getting rid of—” I blush until even my ears burn. “Monthly…stuff.”

His brow knits. At least he’s taking me seriously. “If it comes to that, we’ll go somewhere else and then come back with the baby.” He kisses me quick and hard, trying to reassure me.

“But kids bleed all the time—scraped knees, busted lips. Their blood will be my blood. She’ll know. She’ll take them.”

“Some people don’t even have children,” Griffin says. “It just doesn’t happen.”

I shake my head. “I can’t count on that.”

His mouth flattens, making his jaw muscles bulge. “There are methods. Herbs. Sheaths. I could pull out.”

In my inexperience, those things hadn’t occurred to me, but I know what Griffin means. Irrational disappointment washes through me. It’s ridiculous, and dangerous, but I can already see little dark heads running around the castle, tiny Griffins with black hair, aquiline noses, wide mouths, and green, Fisan eyes. They’re tugging on Egeria’s skirts, playing games with Kaia, climbing all over Flynn and Kato, and getting medicated into stupors by Nerissa’s herbs.

“Live your life,” Griffin says. “For yourself. For me. We’ll deal with Andromeda when we have to.”

I look up at him, a battle raging between my heart and my head. I finally close my eyes against the heat in Griffin’s gaze. I feel him sit up, kneeling between my thighs. He’s going to leave me, and I desperately want to pull him back.

His fingers graze my exposed breasts, sending shivers through me. Then I hear a colossal rip, and my eyes fly open.

“That was my realm dinner dress!” I only wore it tonight to make sure it didn’t need any final alterations before the party. I had it specifically made to fit my new stick figure, and he tore it clean in half!

“I’ll take you to the agora tomorrow.”

“You don’t have time for that!”

“I’ll make time.” His voice rough, his eyes devour me as his fingers feather down my flat stomach and over the now-rather-bony flare of my hips. Disquiet and desire quiver in my belly in equal measures. My skin heats to his touch.

Griffin slowly and deliberately unhooks my shoulder straps, freeing my arms from the destroyed dress. I think he’s waiting for me to protest. When I don’t, he gets a fierce look on his face and pulls me up so that I’m kneeling in front of him. Every caress is like a lick of flame on my naked body—my shoulders, my back, my hips, and my bottom, which he squeezes hard, pulling me against him. His lips part on a low, hoarse sound, and then his hands move back up my front, palming my breasts and gently abrading my nipples.

“Harder,” I moan, needing his hands to ease the growing turmoil inside me. I want him everywhere. I burn for him in places he hasn’t even touched.

He rolls my nipples between his fingers and then pinches them with just enough force to spark a delicious ache. My breathing accelerates. My eyes flutter closed as he kisses my neck, lingering where I’m most sensitive. He nips and sucks, and the wings inside my chest unfold and beat to a familiar rhythm that’s become a part of me. A part of us.

Griffin’s mouth moves back to mine, hungry. I dive into the kiss, sliding my hands under his tunic and up the wide expanse of his chest, finally giving in to the need to touch him, to learn his body, to know every intimate dip and steely curve.