A Necessary Sin (The Sin Trilogy, #1)(59)

“I’m a selfish bastard. I’m certain you’ve never met a bigger one. That means I don’t want to share you with anyone. The thought of another having you this way … it sends me into hysteria. I think I might kill any man who dared touch you.”

She says nothing but leans forward to kiss my mouth. Her hand strokes my leg, not at the top close to my cock. It’s near my amputation.

My divulgence isn’t over. “I may never let you go, Bonny Bleu.”

“I doubt your Fellowship-approved wife will care for that.” Oh. She’s going to bring that up, huh?

“She’ll like it about as much as your husband will.” I know it’s irrational to be angry about a future that has nothing to do with the present—and is likely a hoax—but the thought of Bleu one day having another man as her husband pisses me off. It feels like a betrayal she’s yet to commit, but I know it’s coming.

“Sin.” She props her head in her hand. “You sound like you’re mad at me.”

Do I dare admit it?

Aye, I do. “Hell yeah, I’m angry. You’re going to be with someone else.”

She hits my uninjured shoulder with her fist. “Why are you getting pissed off at me? You’re going to be with someone else too. And soon—with babies. You’ll have everything I desperately want but will probably never have. Do you know how that makes me feel?”

She thinks this doesn’t bother me as well? “No worries. You and your husband can thaw out your wee one whenever you decide you’re ready to welcome him or her into the world.”

“Frozen eggs are more susceptible to damage during the freezing process. I didn’t have a highly successful retrieval. That means my chances for having babies aren’t good.”

I wouldn’t have done the reading had I known it was going to cause a problem between us. “Psychics aren’t real. None of that stuff she said is true.”

“I didn’t need a psychic to tell me you’re going to be a stupid crime boss lording over a bunch of dumb-asses. Or that you’re going to allow them to dictate who you can and can’t be with.” She sits up and spins around so her back is turned. She leans forward with her head in her hands. “I’m thinking about you being with somebody else and now I’m pissed off.”

“Is it nuts to say it feels like a betrayal?” I ask.

“It totally does. I have an aching throb deep in my chest.”

She doesn’t have to describe it. I know the exact feeling.

I put my arm around Bleu’s waist and pull her to lie next to me again. “We didn’t need a fake or real psychic to tell us we won’t last forever. That’s a given, but we have this time together. Let’s make the most of it.”

I drape my arm over her body and pull her close. My cheek is pressed against her back and I feel her body shudder. She’s crying. I rub my hand over the back of her hair. “Shh … please, don’t.”

Crying women have never fazed me but Bleu crying … that’s something different. I don’t take it lightly. This isn’t a performance. She isn’t shedding tears with an ulterior motive in mind. This is her coming to terms with the fact that we’ll be over soon.

I don’t know when it happened but I’ve fallen completely and madly in love with this woman. I could be out of my mind but I think she may love me too. It’s an unexpected surprise considering what an unlovable bastard I am.

We’re not over. I refuse to accept any future that doesn’t include Bleu. I will not give up the best thing that’s ever happened to me, not for anything or anyone. Now I must figure out a way to work this out with The Fellowship.



* * *



The woman sitting across the table gave birth to me, yet she’s practically a stranger. We resided in the same house most of my life but I have very few memories of being parented by Isobel Breckenridge. I don’t know her, yet she’s the only person I want to talk to right now.

“I asked you to join me for breakfast because I need advice, and I feel you’re the only one I can trust with this.”

She’s smiling, appearing pleased. “Yer talking aboot Bleu?”

I nod. “I’ve not spoken to Abram since our altercation but I’m certain he hasn’t changed his mind. I don’t see him letting this go.”

“Ye knew that before ye chose tae start seeing her. I dinnae know why yer surprised.”

“Abram reacted just as I expected.” My own response is the one that surprises me. “I never intended for our relationship to mean anything. It was only about …” She knows what my intentions were. I don’t have to say the words.

“But then yer feelings evolved.”

I won’t insult my mum by denying what’s happening between Bleu and me. “What do I do?”

“Expect complications—great large ones.”

That’s not helpful. I’m well aware of the problem I have on my hands. “Trouble is a given.”

“I can think of one solution tae all of this madness.” She grins while lifting a brow. “Recite rule number two of The Fellowship code.”

“You must never violate the wife or children of another member.” Is she suggesting what I think she is?