A Necessary Sin (The Sin Trilogy, #1)(28)

I can’t believe how good she feels. I move slower. I want to make this last as long as possible but decreasing my pace doesn’t help. The tight grip of her body around mine is going to push me over the edge soon.

I tense and clench my teeth as the bliss approaches. I thrust into her deeply with the onset of the rhythmic spasms. I know I should—and I always do—but I cannot pull out. I’m greedy. I don’t want to give up a second of this pleasure.

I’m completely spent and empty when I crumple over Bleu. Our bodies are wet and sticking to one another. She probably prefers me anywhere but the place I am—on top with my weight pressing against her—but I don’t roll away. I love the sensation of her soft skin touching mine.

She’s gone lax beneath me, her limbs outstretched on the bed. My mouth is pressed to her throat and I can feel the pulsation in her neck against my lips. Her heart races.

She brings both hands to my back and the tips of her fingernails graze my skin as she drags them up and down. Chills erupt all over my body. “I hope it was good for you.”

Good? Is she kiddin’ me?

I lift my head and look at her face. “Seriously … it was the best ever.”

She blushes as her mouth curls into a large grin. “Really?”

“Unquestionably.” I kiss her quickly before rolling onto my back to lie next to her.

“Is this a one-time thing?”

I don’t think I can bear it if this only happens once. “You’re asking, so does that mean you’re open to a second time?” And a third. And so on …

“I think I am.”

“Good. I’m very open to it again.” Do I dare to do this? Start a relationship, even if it’s only sexual? I’ve never been in any kind of an arrangement like this with a woman. “You should probably be aware of something. I might not know how to treat you. It’s something I’ve never learned.” She should understand my ways early on so there are no surprises later. “I only know how to use fear and violence to make people behave the way I want them to.”

“You should probably understand now that I won’t allow you to control me with threats.”

“Then we should be an interesting couple.” I laugh. This is going to be fun.

“We’re going to be volatile. We should prepare now for this to end badly.” She couldn’t be more right.

“We’re damned from the start,” I say. “The odds of us working out even for a short time are unfavorable.”

“You shouldn’t expect much from me.”

“I’m going to put your worries to rest right now. I expect nothing from you.” That’s good. I doubt I’ll give her anything more than a good heartache.

I reach to remove the condom and see the blown-out tip. “Aww … f*ck!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Your virginity shredded the condom.” She lifts her head and stares at the busted rubber on my cock. “Please tell me you’re taking birth control.”

“We probably should’ve discussed this before you came inside me through a broken rubber.” That’s a no.

She was a virgin until five minutes ago, so that means she has no reason to be on any kind of birth control. “When is your next period due?”

“My body doesn’t work like that.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t have periods like normal women. There’s no need to go into details about something you care nothing about. Just know that you’ll never have to worry about a baby with me.”

She can’t get pregnant. Bleu’s pro list is growing. I wonder what’s going on with that. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want to talk about it, so I’ll respect that boundary for now.

“A pregnancy isn’t a possibility, but I still have to worry about infected penises giving me diseases. When’s the last time you were tested and how many women have you been with since?”

I just had a quarterly check. “I was tested last week. Everything came back clean. I haven’t been with anyone since. Except you.”

“Good. Make sure you keep it that way.”



* * *



I was fifteen years old when my father told me to never fall asleep next to a woman, especially one I’d just f*cked. He said I couldn’t trust her to not kill me in my sleep. I figured Dad knew what he was talking about, so I’ve never taken the chance. Although I once brought women into my bed, I never allowed any of them to spend the night—until now.

Bleu promised it would be a night of firsts, and it certainly has been.

I watched her sleep for a while before I turned off the lamp. It had nothing to do with worry or fear she’d kill me while I was sleeping. I simply wanted to enjoy seeing her in my bed.

I think she had nightmares. She was restless and often mumbled incoherently. Her sleep became so fitful at one point, she screamed. She looked like a frightened animal ready to sprint when I woke her. I encouraged her to tell me what it was about, but she wouldn’t. Instead of talking, we made love again.

I’m lying on my side with my elbow pressed into the bed and my head propped in my hand when Bleu wakes and looks at me. She smiles and rolls onto her side to face me. “Good mornin’.”