A Lie for a Lie (All In, #1)(45)

I struggle to open the door, unable to figure out how the locks work with how blurry my vision is. I realize I’m on the verge of a full-blown panic attack—all of this is too much to handle. I struggle to breathe, to think. My vision swims with dots, and suddenly I find myself pulled into his solid embrace.

His lips find my temple. “Breathe, Lainey—just breathe.”

I cling to his shirt, trying to force myself to let go when all I want to do is hold on tighter. He rubs soothing circles on my back, murmuring for me to breathe over and over, telling me he’s sorry, that he never wanted to hurt me.

I count all the things I can feel, see, hear, taste, and smell. Eventually I calm down enough that I’m able to pry my fingers from his shirt. I press my palms against his chest, his heart beating hard under them.

He brushes away my tears. “I’m so sorry, Lainey. This wasn’t what I wanted. I thought your silence was your way of telling me my feelings were one-sided.”

“I have to go.” It’s nothing but a broken whisper.

He cups my face in his palms. “Please look at me.”

I slowly lift my eyes, taking in his devastatingly handsome face.

“I messed this up once, Lainey, and I understand that I’ve blindsided you with all of this, but I promise I’m the man you met a year ago, and I’m going to do everything in my power to prove that to you.” For a moment I think he’s going to kiss me.

And he does—on the cheek.

My skin burns. My heart stutters.

I should tell him my own truth.

But for now we’re tied: a lie for a lie.





CHAPTER 15





BACK IN THE GAME


Rook

Lainey asked for space, but considering how upset she was yesterday when she left my place—and how poorly I slept—I call her first thing the next morning and leave a voice mail asking how she’s doing and letting her know I’m thinking about her before I hit the gym.

I still haven’t heard from Lainey by the time I’m finished with my workout, so I fire off a message with basically the same content as the voice mail and then proceed to order her a bouquet of flowers. I’m just about to head home when my phone lights up. I check the screen, elated as fuck when I see Lainey’s name pop up.

“Hey, hi. How are you?”

“Uh, hi. Is this RJ?” It’s a female voice, but it’s not Lainey.

“It is.” I check the screen. It’s definitely Lainey’s number, which I memorized the night I acquired it. “Who is this?”

“Uh, it’s Eden. I’m a friend of Lainey’s, and I’m sort of staging an intervention.”

“An intervention? Is Lainey in some sort of trouble?” I consider the dark circles under her eyes and her anxiety—which I was familiar with in Alaska, but it was always something she seemed to manage okay when she was comfortable and felt safe—but maybe I’m missing something.

“Not like an intervention intervention—more like I’m trying to give her a friendly nudge in the right direction. So I’m probably going to get myself in some trouble for telling you this, but she hasn’t ever really gotten over you. I mean, she’s been dealing with a lot of stuff, and she’s only recently tried to start dating.”

“She’s dating someone?” This is not what I want to hear.

“Not really. I mean, they’ve gone on a couple of dates, and she thinks he’s nice and stable or whatever, but she’s not really into him.”

“So it’s not serious?”

“No. Not yet, anyway. Like I said, just a couple of dates, but I think he really likes her—and he lives in her building, so that’s not ideal for you.”

“Shit. No, it’s not.” I really need to step up my game.

“It’s just that Lainey has a lot on her plate, most of which I’m pretty sure she hasn’t mentioned to you but definitely should.”

“Is there something I can do? Some way I can help?”

“We both get off at four. You should come by the aquarium.”

“But I just saw her yesterday, and she said she needed time.”

“Lainey’s already had lots of time. More than a year. She’s scared. If you’re really serious about wanting her to give you a second chance, you should be here. She’s leading a private tour until three forty-five. Shoot, gotta go.” She hangs up before I can thank her.

I need to get my ass in gear and figure out how to make Lainey see I’m serious—and that I’m more than just lies and empty promises.

I stop at home, shower again, and change into black dress pants and a button-down. I don’t know why I feel the compulsion to dress like I’m ready for a date, but on the off chance Lainey’s interested in more than telling me to fuck off, I want to be adequately prepared.

I arrive at the aquarium at three thirty, just to be safe, and approach the front desk. A familiar-looking woman with brown hair, glasses, and a whole lot of curves gives me a once-over and a raised eyebrow. “No flowers this time?”

“Dammit.” I can’t believe I forgot to stop on the way over. “Is there a place close by where I can pick some up real quick?”

She holds up a hand. “Lainey left the last bouquet here because she doesn’t have room in her apartment for more, so I think you’re good on the flowers.”