A Dirty Business (Kings of New York #1)(60)

She groaned. “You’re saying you and your dad have similar tastes in women?”

I was trying not to laugh, but this was the only connection I would admit to regarding my father. “You are stunning. Your mother is beautiful. I’m just saying I couldn’t fault him for being attracted to your mother, if that was the case. Anything else, no. I have learned long ago to separate myself from my father’s transgressions with women, gambling, anything. He’s a disappointment as a person and even more so as a father. If my sister wants to put her anger on you, she’s mistaken to do that, and she’ll be handled, but also, that tells me she’s not reached the level of disillusionment that I have with him.”

“You’re being very . . . forthright about this all.”

My lips thinned because this was an easy choice. “He’s a father by blood, but that’s it. I have more emotion about a trash can than I do about him.”

Her eyes were shining, but I didn’t think it was from happiness. An unshed emotion was there. I got a glimpse before she turned her head away again.

She murmured, “I should go.”

“Stay.” I said it quietly.

“Why, Trace?” Her voice broke, hitching on an emotion. “We are literally getting every roadblock thrust in front of us, and where are we? Still here. Still in this vehicle together. We are insane. This is the definition.”

Probably. “A ride, Jess. That’s it. I would like to give you a ride home, and if you want, I’ll bring you back to get your car tomorrow.”

“But why?” she whispered, her head bending down.

“I just want to spend time with you. That’s all. A ride . . . it’s extended time with you in a closed-off shelter from the rest of the world. I get you for this little escape, and I’ll take it every fucking day if you’ll give it to me.”

She turned to me, tears in her eyes, and her lips parted. She blinked, still staring at me, but something cleared in her gaze, and she nodded.

Relief broke free in my chest.

I leaned back in my chair, settling in. “We can go.”

The SUV started forward as Jess moved, her arm falling to rest in the seat between us. It grazed mine, and looking down, I saw her hand was half turned toward mine. I glanced up, seeing she was watching me, and as a small smile toyed at her lips, I lifted my hand and took hers.

I held her hand the entire drive to her place.

When we parked, she stared at me long and hard. She took her keys. “Thank you for the ride.”

“Could I give you a ride tomorrow to get your car?”

She paused, but before she got out, she nodded.

I would get to hold her hand again.





CHAPTER FORTY-ONE


JESS


My alarm went off at six. I smacked it and rolled to my back, slightly panting.

A sex dream.

How old was I? All because he held my hand, and the next morning he held my hand when we went to get my car?

What had I been thinking about, agreeing to that?

I knew. I hadn’t wanted to be strong for one fucking night.

I’d wanted a ride home, but it wasn’t even that. I’d wanted it to be him giving me a ride home. How stupid could I be?

My phone buzzed, and I grabbed it.

Val: Drinks after gun training. You in? Little Micky is transferring. They want to do a send-off the right way.

God, yes. This was perfect. A night with our colleagues.

Me: Fuck. Yes. Where are we drinking?

Val: Bear’s Pub.

Oh. Fuck no. That was Bear’s bar, and I wasn’t saying fuck no because it was his place, but, well . . . because it was his place. There’d be conversation done between him and me, and it would center on my mother, and thinking back on Trace’s sister’s revelation, I was filled up with the need to not see or deal with or talk to my mom. She hadn’t been blowing up my phone since Saturday, so why would I want to seek more of her out? Still. I groaned as I texted back.

Me: Sounds good. Time?

Val: Who the fuck knows. Whenever everyone finishes their shifts.

Me: Why are you going? You can’t drink.

Val: I can smell it. I can pretend. Don’t take this shit from me. I need it.

Me: Is Officer Reyo going to be in attendance?

Val: Fuck off. See you at training.

Right. I laughed but then groaned again.

That sex dream was still with me. What was wrong with me? Oh, right. I had horrible, horrible taste in men, but Trace wasn’t horrible. He was amazing. What his family did, what he sometimes helped with . . . I needed to stop thinking about it.

I’d need a hard workout this morning.



Bear was behind the counter when I walked in.

In a way, he resembled his pub. He was shorter, around five six, but he was built like a literal tank. He kept his head bald and clean, the same way he kept his bar clean. His pub was small, closed in by bricks on the inside and out. He’d kept the old building’s charm when he’d done renovations. He was ex-military, and when he’d come back home, bought this place, the word had gotten around. Veterans, cops, firefighters, paramedics, and sometimes hospital staff showed up too.

Bear saw me and gave me a slight chin lift. I returned it but bypassed him for the table I spotted Val already had claimed. We were far in the back, and knowing Val, she would’ve had a private word with Bear to only bring her nonalcoholic beer. Bear being Bear, he’d probably comp her drinks.