A Dawn of Onyx (The Sacred Stones, #1)(93)

I bit my tongue.

“Arwen, you aren’t—” he fought for the words, though they looked like they physically pained him to say. “You aren’t mine. You don’t belong to me. You can spend your time with whoever you please. All I hope is that they treat you with the respect you deserve, and I will try every single day not to think of ripping out their still beating hearts.”

I tried to hide my smile. I loved imagining Kane jealous. It was twisted, but his barely contained fury sent a thrill through me.

Silly king—as if there could be anyone else.

“Have you ever thought about it?”

He raised a brow. “Of you with another man? I’d rather gouge my eyes out.”

I laughed out loud. “No, of what it would be like. Between us…”

“Ah, of course.” His voice had dropped to a low growl.

It was the most profoundly erotic sound I’d ever heard.

He stalked closer to me. “Ever since that day we rode back from the woods together, I have thought of little else. Each night I rub myself raw thinking of your long legs, perfect breasts, and gorgeous laugh,” he lifted one single strand of my hair and rubbed it between his fingers. “I imagine you on top of me and come apart faster than I care to admit.”

I was panting now, resisting the urge to bring my hand between my legs and release the tension building up inside me. He must have read the wanton desire in my eyes because he sighed, thick and heavy, released my hair from his fingertips, and paced over to the chair across the room.

He looked miserable. And so tired.

“Arwen, I came to say goodbye.” He said it like he was convincing himself, not me.

“I know.”

“And that,” he gestured to the bed behind me. “Would not be a very fair goodbye.”

I huffed, crossing my arms. “Don’t be so condescending. I’m an adult woman. I can make those decisions for myself.”

He paused, running a hand through his hair. “I meant for me. I’m a selfish bastard, remember? Having you, and then… leaving you. It would kill me.”

“Oh,” I said, a little dumbly. “Maybe it doesn’t have to be goodbye?”

“Our deal is done. You’re safe now, you have your family. Your mother is healing. It’s all I could have hoped for you. I can give you enough coin to live a long and healthy life with them here. All I would do is put you in danger.”

I knew he was right. We could have a real life here in Siren’s Cove—a happy one. I could picture it in my mind with perfect clarity—Leigh’s chickens and cows, Mother, finally healthy, cooking and dancing in the kitchen like she used to. Ryder would continue his woodwork. I would still heal, but maybe I’d open a tropical flower shop too, one day. Maybe Kane would visit every few years. We could share nights just like these, tangled together under clandestine moonlight until he left before sunrise, his kingdom calling him back. Until one day I built a life with someone new. Someone else…

How could I want more than that? More than safety for myself and my family?

But I did.

I wanted him. All of him. All the time. Preferably, forever. The reality of my feelings for him hit me with the force of a tidal wave, nearly knocking the wind out of me.

“Our deal,” I repeated his words. “Why did you have me stay? It wasn’t just to heal your soldiers or pay off a debt. Was it just to keep me around?”

Kane rubbed his eyes. “Doesn’t matter now.” He stood to leave. I felt a wave of unrelenting panic. Was this the last moment I was ever going to have with him? It couldn’t end like this.

I stood from the bed and raced to stand in front of him before he reached the door, my heart thundering in my ears.

“Don’t leave,” I whispered.

His eyes were punishing. “Arwen, we can’t.”

But he made no move to push past me, so I stood on my tiptoes and took his face in my hands, gently.

“I know you said I’m not yours. But…I want to be.” I swallowed hard. “I want to be yours, Kane.”

His eyes simmered with heat and anguish.

Before I could protest even further, he caught my surprised lips in his.

Groaning into my mouth, he physically stumbled toward me, as if the relief of our kiss had made his legs weak. I stifled a moan and wrapped my hands around his broad shoulders, feeling the soft hair at the nape of his neck. His breathing was harsh and ragged as he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, savage and restless and hungry.

Finally, finally, finally—

His hands, the ones that had been so gentle, teasing along my thigh in bed, were now grasping at my entire body. It was making me hot and needy, knowing his fingers were so close to all the places I wanted them.

And his taste, his mouth—like sweet whiskey and mint from the earth—it was more than overwhelming. All-consuming. This was nothing like his soft, chaste kiss in the gardens. That had been searching, careful, cautious. This was—

He ran a single finger across my pointed nipple producing a soft hiss from me that turned into a shudder as his finger worked its way down, brushing right up against my waistline, but no lower.

More, please—

I tugged at his shirt. I needed to feel his skin, to taste it. Breaking our kiss, he ripped the linen over his head in one swift motion. I ogled him shamelessly, the breath punching out of me. Even in the moonlight, his chiseled, tan skin glowed.