#famous(62)

(To Rachel): Are you okay? You’re not freaked out, are you?



The phone hadn’t even gone dark when her text came in.

(From Rachel): Not freaked out. I just couldn’t imagine talking to your mom right then. Sometimes I lose a little brain-processing power when things are good.



So she thought it was good. Immediately I imagined kissing her again. Taking off her shirt, then her bra. It would be lacy, maybe black. Artsy girls would totally wear black bras. She’d be shy at first, but then into it. . . .

Dude: focus. Thinking about Rachel’s bra was not making it easier to think of something normal to respond.

(To Rachel): Wanna try round two on Wednesday? That’s when they’re airing your dress thing. My mom has a partners meeting, so no need to plan a speech



Oh man, that sounded kinda . . . like I meant something else. Did I?

(From Rachel): Absolutely.



(To Rachel): Cool. Meet me at my place after school?



(From Rachel): Can’t wait.



Most of me couldn’t wait either.

But I couldn’t get rid of that feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like I didn’t really deserve this. Like it was just a matter of time until I got caught.





chapter forty-three


RACHEL

TUESDAY, 7:48 A.M.

“What do you think it’ll be like?”

Mo and I were sitting in her car in the junior lot. We’d already been here for about five minutes while I made ridiculous, contorted faces in the passenger-side mirror in an attempt to settle my nerves.

“I have no clue.”

“Well that’s reassuring.”

“Sorry, I could lie, but who knows? People online were cool, so that’s good. Plus you gained how many followers last night? By the time our application is due we’ll be shoo-ins. But the internet doesn’t care about high school politics, or have loyalties to Kyle’s exes.” Mo shrugged, tapping her foot in the seat well impatiently.

“Thanks for the pep talk.”

“Okay, yes, but if it’s terrible, just imagine us in New York, writing plays. Or think about the fact that you made out with Kyle less than twenty-four hours ago.” Mo grinned mischievously.

I could feel a shivery tingle flow through my entire body. I could still imagine the moment almost physically—him leaning in, his lips on mine, him drawing me closer. And he wanted to see me again. It was really happening.

“Fine, I’m fortified. Let’s go.”

I forced myself to keep my head up—for once, don’t look at the ground, Rachel—as we walked to the front door.

But no one said anything. A couple of girls stared in the math hallway, but we made it all the way to my locker without a single word from anyone.

Great. So much for everything being different. It was dumb, but this small part of me had thought maybe people wouldn’t just be not-crap, they’d actually be cool. Actively cool.

I’d also secretly thought my locker might be decorated with “Go, Rachel!” stuff, like they sometimes did for new members of girls’ sports, but I’d known that was dumb, so I was only the tiniest bit disappointed that it was just a plain locker. It’s not like there was a Varsity Social Acceptance Team.

I turned to Mo, frowning a little. She shrugged.

“No one being evil is not a bad outcome.”

I nodded, trying to be okay with that.

I was grabbing my French stuff when Sarah Frederics walked up. She was my year, tall, fit, with white-blond hair and a perpetual tan. She was definitely popular with the athletes and band kids she ran with. She’d always been kind of self-important, and she didn’t really get sarcasm, but she was nice enough. We’d just never had much to say to each other.

“Oh my gah, Rachel, can I tell you that I saw the show last night?”

I looked at her expectantly. Sarah had this way of talking where it sounded like she was done with a thought when she wasn’t.

“You were totally awesome. When you slammed the door in his face? I was laughing. So. Hard.” Sarah put a hand on her hip and gave me a close-lipped smile.

“Thanks, Sarah. That’s nice of you to say.”

“Seriously, I’m so glad he asked you. Kyle’s cool, but you’ll be, like, funny.”

I nodded, smiling. I wasn’t really sure what else to do.

“Anyway, that’s all. I just wanted to tell you we all thought you were awesome.”

“Thanks.”

Sarah smiled in a self-satisfied way and strode off down the hall. I turned to Monique. She was frown-smiling, shaking her head at Sarah’s retreating form.

“That was nice. Not like Sarah was being mean before, but at least I have someone on my side.”

Mo narrowed her eyes.

“I think you have a lot of people on your side. Sarah wanted to win.”

“Win?”

“Be the first to tell you they’d all switched over. So she’s the most loyal subject.”

I laughed.

“You make it sound so weighty. Like one of your medieval courts from Euro.”

“Rachel, high school is exactly like a medieval court. Just without swords.”

Monique was right about one thing: Sarah was only the first of many who wanted to make sure I knew they were on Team Rachel.