You Had Me At Christmas: A Holiday Anthology(21)

Suddenly, they were on dangerous ground.

He flicked through the pages, trying not to feel self-conscious. “I’ll have to get it translated.”

“Dimity says it’s very complimentary.” Kayla’s voice was carefully neutral.

We have to talk about Simone. But not here. Then, about to put the magazine away, he snorted in startled amusement. “Sh…oot, where’d they find that picture of us?” He held it up so she could see it. “That was a great night.”

She barely glanced at it. “Was it?”

“Don’t you remember? It was the night we first…” He glanced over his shoulder, saw Maddie engrossed in her book, and played it safe anyway. “Went all the way home.”

“Like the little piggy?” Maddie piped up. There was no doubt about it, kids tuned into tone.

“Very much like the little piggy,” Kayla muttered. “Wow, you must have needed to get home real bad.”

“What do you mean?”

She shot him an incredulous gaze. “Seriously?”

He looked at the picture again, Kayla being the life and soul of the party, and himself trying too hard to look cool.

“I see what you mean.” He started to laugh. “What the hell did you see in me?”

She gave him an odd look, then her eyes filled with tears.

“Honey?”

“It’s nothing, ignore me.” She pulled into the lot and the kids yelled in excitement as they glimpsed a huge blow-up Santa, pulling gently on his tether above the red and white open marquee.

Shoving the magazine under the seat, Jared got out of the car feeling like shit. And it wasn’t his hangover. He tried again. “Kayla?”

“I’m fine. Honestly.”

They unloaded the kids. Maddie immediately ran toward the mini maze of Christmas trees that had been set up for small children. Rocco tottered through the parking lot after her, forcing Jared to follow.

Maddie went through the maze once holding Kayla’s hand, then by herself, and then insisted on taking Rocco alone.

Jared and Kayla stood by the entrance, waiting for them. He dug his hands in his jacket pockets, not because he was cold, but because he didn’t know what to do with them when he was nervous.

“What happened with Simone still hurts you, doesn’t it?”

She froze, then her gaze slid from his. “I overreacted.” When she moved toward the maze, he pulled one hand out of his pocket and caught her elbow. This was difficult for him, too.

“No,” he said. “You didn’t.”

They’d avoided this conversation too long and it had become a thorn in their marriage. Until it was drawn, the wound would never properly heal. “I did have a crush on her.”





Chapter Nine





Kayla could feel her whole body shrinking in on itself. She’d been embarrassed when Jared found the magazine—it was obvious she’d avoided giving it to him—and then incredibly touched by his inability to see how godawful she’d looked in that picture. Maybe Simone could be forgotten.

And now this.

He turned her to face him. “But it was a crush on her professional reputation. It wasn’t until after she’d tried to kiss me that I looked at her with any sexual curiosity. For a moment I imagined myself living a different life. But it was only a moment, Kayla.”

The kids re-appeared from the maze. She turned toward them, breaking his hold.

“Mommy, can we choose a tree now?”

“Sure.” She picked up her excited baby and pressed her cheek to his, needing the contact. “Lead the way.”

Maddie ran ahead and Rocco squirmed for freedom. “No, sweetie, we might lose you.”

“Here.” Taking their son, Jared swung him onto his shoulders. Rocco gripped his father’s dark hair with tiny fists and chortled in delight. It hurt Kayla to look at them.

“We have to touch every tree,” Maddie yelled over her shoulder. She was running down a row of eight-footers, Alice lost in Wonderland.

“Don’t get lost,” Jared called. His free hand caught Kayla’s and put it in his pocket, his own holding tight. “Please, don’t shut me down.”

“I could see the music geek in you was impressed.” With an effort, she kept her tone conversational. Inside, she was terrified she’d never look at a Christmas tree again without feeling sick. “Simone could talk so knowledgeably about music. And of course,” she added casually, as if it was the first time she’d thought about it, “she’s a striking woman.”

“Who thinks it’s okay to hit on a man waiting for his wife.” He stopped. “Never once did I encourage her to think I was interested, Kayla.”

“I believe you.” Rocco’s hat was coming down over his eyes. Releasing her hand from Jared’s grip, she straightened it and stepped away. “You, wondering what it would be like to sleep with her, that didn’t scare me. You, dismissing my earlier warning that she was interested in sleeping with you? That still scares me.”

It was easier to talk looking at the trees instead of each other, following Maddie’s excited cries, their boots releasing the scent of crushed pine needles. “Why did you refuse to see it? You used to trust my instincts.”