You Are Mine (Mine, #1)(31)
She continues, “Not all men care for a woman to have it. They sometimes prefer us to be more feeling than the herb allows.”
“Is it like the soothing tea?”
“No, this is much, much stronger. It has some negative side effects as well, but if you don't have it, you'll ruin the ceremony.”
My stomach knots and I grip her armrest. “What happens at the ceremony?”
“The spell from my own engagement prevents me from telling you or I would. They prefer to keep it a surprise.” She grabs my hands with both of hers. “No matter. I'll be there for you Serena. As much as the events of the day allow, I'll be there for you.”
Tears sting my eyes. I blink them away before they can spill out.
“I'll be next to you at the feast afterward. You look to me if you encounter any problems.”
She changes the topic to the state of the house without Cynthia and me around, but the ceremony clogs my mind. A spell is what blocks woman from speaking of it? That explains why I haven't heard anything about it before, from her or in class. And branding? I rub my neck just above my collar bone where I know the mark will go. What will the Envadi choose to leave permanently on my skin?
“Serena?” mother says.
“Yes?”
“You should eat something dear, you're looking peaked.” She scoots to the edge of her chair and heaves herself out of it. “I should leave anyway if you are to get the silver polished.”
“You don't have to.”
“Nonsense. I'll see you at the ceremony.”
She surveys me a final time and is out the door. Now my guilt for scaring her off earlier intensifies. I'm not ready for her to go.
Chapter Thirteen
Phyllis shoves another pin in my hair. It scrapes my scalp. I bite my lower lip to keep from crying out. Father's gift doesn't have a light touch. I miss Cynthia's deft hands. Even my own would be better than this. She moves to pin another wayward strand and I hold my breath. A knock at my bedroom door stops her.
“Come in,” I call.
“According to the Woman's Canon,” Phyllis says, “you shouldn't holler. Next time, I'll attend to it.”
I ignore her and face who I suspect is Cynthia, looking for some relief to her boredom. When Katherine's inked face comes into view, arms laden with a large package, I spring to my feet.
“You're dismissed, Phyllis.”
“But I'm not fin—”
“Katherine can help me if I need it.”
“Your Father won't be happy to hear about this.” Phyllis whips away from me and heads from the room, bumping into Katherine on her way out.
Father may not be happy to hear, but he's not my Master. As long as he doesn't tell the Envadi, I should be fine. I hope.
“Have I interrupted?” Katherine asks.
“No. Sorry about Phyllis. My very first present. Can't say I'm glad to have received it.”
Her footsteps slow. “That woman was a present to you?”
I sink into one of the chairs around the table. “Honestly, I think the word present is used to make her sound better. She's worse than mother and continually referencing Father. I'm sure she's telling him all my misdeeds. A great many, I fear. I'd much rather go back to having things between just me and Cynthia.”
“Maybe this will cheer you.” She sets the package on my lap.
It crinkles as I run my hand across it. “Have you really finished it?”
“With little time to spare. And some extra coins you should keep for an emergency.”
“Women can't keep money.”
“I do and I'm a woman. Besides, you never know when you'll need a little extra.”
The bag is heavy in my hands, though lighter than when I first gave it to her. Can I really keep it? “I don't know.”
“Just keep it and enjoy your new dress.”
“I wouldn't even know what to do with it. Giving it to you was the most I've ever done with money.”
“It's easy to figure out.” She reaches over and opens the bag and pulls out a handful of coins. She quickly explains the gold ones are worth more than the silver, and the brown ones are the least valuable. “It's strange using them at first, but you'll get used to it.”
I put the pouch on the table, for now, and concentrate on the package containing my dress. “This will be better than the other choices. I'll be more comfortable in it, at least. Mother talked to me earlier and, well, it didn't help with my nerves. Do you know anything about the engagement ceremony?”
The smile on her face transformers into an expression I can't read. “Very little.”
“Sit down if you'd like, Katherine. Make yourself comfortable.”
Her eyebrows raise, but she settles into a chair next to me. “I understand it's difficult to endure.”
I pull the package closer to me, causing more crackles. “Do you know why?”
“No. The only thing I know is that you can't make a sound during the ceremony unless they ask you to or they'll cane you.”
“How do you know this?”
“Some of the tarnished who have been servants to a newly engaged woman have noticed things. The women seem jumpier, more distracted, bruises. I wish I knew more.”