Within These Walls (The Walls Duet #1)(37)

“And now, we’re more,” I simply answered, not knowing exactly what to call Jude and me.

The word boyfriend did sound nice, but he hadn’t said it, and I certainly wasn’t going to go around calling him that without audible proof from him. Friends with benefits just sounded dirty, and we definitely weren’t there yet. Flashes of his lips on mine while his hand had moved up the back of my shirt danced around in my head, and I felt my cheeks redden. While I was hoping for more than friends, I was looking forward to the benefits part.

My mother shook her head in frustration before leaving the room. I was sure she was going to find Dr. Marcus to have another one of her secret meetings that I wouldn’t be privy to. We wouldn’t want to talk about my own health in front of me.

I let the annoyance melt away, and I snuggled back down in my bed, allowing my thoughts to drift back to Jude. Whatever our label was—friends or something else—I wanted it to continue even though I knew that I shouldn’t. I was selfish for not pushing him away. My life was at a crossroads. Who knew which path I would end up traveling on? Was it fair to ask him to walk either of those roads with me? Even if I were lucky enough to get a transplant, there would be no guarantees it would be successful.

But were there ever any guarantees in life?

I’d told Jude that I believed a normal life was about the good and the bad. The ups and downs, not knowing where our lives would eventually end up—that’s what made us human.

Isn’t that what I want—a normal life with no guarantees?

If I’ve been living from one bad moment to the next with very little good in the middle, couldn’t I just take Jude as my wild card? Couldn’t he be my savior from all the bad I’ve had to endure?

But a normal relationship was about give and take.

If Jude were my replacement for all the bad in my life, could I be his?

But what if I were the opposite?





That one single question kept repeating through my thoughts as I tried to catch a few quiet moments of rest before my mom returned. I tossed all the blankets off of me and then promptly tugged them back around me several minutes later when I became ice cold. When I gave up on the notion of sleep, I instead pulled out my laptop and entered the one name doing laps in my head.

Thousands of search results popped up on Google. Many weren’t specifically related to Jude but rather the family as a whole. I found financial reports and glamorous photos of who I assumed were his parents at charity events and other elite social gatherings. I scrolled down further and found an old article entitled “The Cavanaughs Find Gold Mine in Youngest Son.”

Looking around the room, I felt like I was betraying some sort of secret trust between Jude and me. Why do I feel the need to do this? Shouldn’t I just ask him?

But my finger pushed down on the touchpad, and I pulled up the article.

I scanned the text, pulling out the bits of information I found relevant, and my mind skidded to a halt about a third of the way down after the introduction where the journalist had written about the vast accolades and accomplishments of the Cavanaugh family.

Jude was smart, like really freaking smart.

He’d also been groomed from nearly infancy to take over the family business.

According to this article, after showing a love for math at an early age, his parents had sent him to the best schools money could buy. From the time he was in kindergarten, he was privately tutored. The journalist commented that the money had been wasted because all the tutors in the world couldn’t teach Jude the one thing he’d possessed since birth—instinct. From the age of thirteen, rather than partaking in after-school activities, Jude had helped his father make major business decisions.

A knock at my door startled me from my reading, and I quickly slammed my laptop shut in shame.

Grace breezed through my door like a breath of fresh air in autumn. “Good morning, sweets. Heard you had a rough evening. You’re not trying to leave me again, are you?” she asked with a wink.

“Ugh, not anymore.”

The mask over her face hid her smile from me, but I could see the crinkles around her eyes, so I knew it was there, buried under that ugly disposable covering.

“Well, no matter. We’ll get you out of here soon enough.”

Unlike times in the past, I wasn’t as eager to get home. I still wanted to, especially knowing I’d still see Jude, but when I was here, I could see him practically every day. Would that be the case outside the confines of the hospital? Or would it be different?

I had so many unanswered questions.

“Hey, Grace. Do you know anything about the Cavanaugh family?” I blurted out.

“Like, the Cavanaugh family?” She moved around the room as she began checking my vitals and replacing my fluids.

“Yeah, I was, um…watching the news the other day and something about them popped up,” I lied. It was a white lie, so it didn’t count.

“Well, if they weren’t in a movie or on a TV show, I don’t pay much attention, but I do know a few things about the son.”

My heart sped up, but I tried not to appear the slightest bit affected. “Oh?” I asked.

“Yeah, he’s gorgeous—not as gorgeous as my Brian, of course.” She took a seat on the edge of my bed next to my feet to finish our chat.

“I thought he hasn’t been seen in a long time,” I offered.