Witches for Hire (Odd Jobs #1)(66)
“Fine! You want to play, I’ll play.” Jeremy held up a finger to shush the audience. “But if I accidentally hurt your precious Desmond the Great, don’t come crying to me.”
Desmond’s eyebrow quirked up. “Is that a challenge?”
“First blood is the winner.” The audience broke into cheers at Jeremy’s words. He rolled his eyes. Sadists. Jeremy raised his hand in the air palm up, and then he bent his hand inward. “Bring it.”
“If you insist.” Without hesitation, Desmond threw knives and swords, the weapons flying at Jeremy as soon as they touched his hands.
When fooling a crowd on television with real magic, just as much skill as speed was necessary to trick the cameras. When the blades came at Jeremy, his motion to snatch them out of the air was also a gesture to turn the handles his way. Soon the bin was empty, and every blade was airborne, Jeremy and Desmond hurling them at each other in a deadly juggle. The faster they went, the more likely one of them would slip up. It won’t be me, Jeremy swore. Putting me in these damn shorts, bitching at me in front of Clive. You will bleed first, dick. As the next knife came at him, something seemed off. Jeremy barely caught it in time and had to act fast to catch the rest of the blades coming at him. When he couldn’t hold any more, he struck at the blades with the weapons in his hands, deflecting them to the side. They clattered to the floor around him, and when the last blade fell, the audience roared. Jeremy’s wrist stung, and he looked down at a small bleeding cut. He glared at the grinning magician but nodded in respect to Desmond. That made the audience scream louder.
“After that wonderful start, now on to the next trick,” Desmond said, signaling for all the assistants to come to him. As they gathered around him, moving the long white walls into place, he whispered in Jeremy’s ear, “You still have a weakness against a little spin on them.”
“Sod off,” Jeremy whispered back. When everything was in place, the assistants ran to the side so Desmond had room to create the powerful fireball spell. Waiting with his arms raised in fake amazement seemed boring, and if Desmond didn’t want to follow script, why the fuck should he? Jeremy sidled closer to the audience. He spoke out of the corner of his mouth to the camera as a microphone was directed toward him from a curious crew member. “Hey, do you want to see something interesting?” The crew member gave him a warning look not to step too far, but the audience in that section perked up and nodded. Jeremy took out his wand that he had stuffed in the side of his shorts and aimed it at the magician summoning colorful magic above him. Jeremy winked at the camera. “Here’s what I know you really want.” Light shot out of the wand in dramatic fireworks that Jeremy hoped looked cheesy enough to spare him a fine. The sparks wrapped around Desmond’s pants, unhooking his belt. Desmond’s pants hit the floor to reveal black underwear and powerful thighs. The magic circling above Desmond’s head vanished as the crowd broke out into jeers and hollers for Desmond to take everything off.
Desmond cracked his neck from side to side. His pants rose to their original position, and then he patiently closed them with his hands. He turned to Jeremy when he finished. “You really shouldn’t have done that.”
Jeremy laughed, but then his smile faltered as he realized his predicament. The only thing he had on were the shorts. “Now, Desmond, let’s be reasonable. You have more clothes than me. This was just a laugh to make your fans happy.” He pointed at the grinning and wide-eyed audience. “I only gave them what they wanted.”
Desmond turned to the side of the stage. “Do we still have that ten-second delay?”
“Desmond!” Jeremy walked backward, searching for any exit. Unfortunately, while his attention had been focused on an innocent joke, the walls had become a perfect maze, and his only escape was behind Desmond. But if he ducked under the table to the side of the magician, he might make it.
Desmond tilted his head to the audience. “Should I teach my naughty assistant a lesson?”
“Yeeess!” the crowd shouted.
“No, no, no!” Jeremy cried out to them.
“I’m only giving my fans what they want.” Desmond held up his own wand, and Jeremy gulped.
Before Desmond’s wrist twirled, Jeremy ran straight for the table. Instead of going under, he slid over, snatching up a top hat and one of the assistant’s giant feathers. When cool air touched his crotch, Jeremy had the hat strategically placed over it and the feather over his ass. He scurried offstage just as Desmond twirled the wand again. Luckily, Jeremy ducked behind a covered table backstage as the two improvised coverings disappeared. Jeremy yanked the table cover away and wrapped it around his waist.
“One more second, and I would have been blinded.” Simone shamelessly pointed while she laughed at him. “I’ve never seen anyone put you in your place that harshly. Assist for him again, so I can take pics next time.”
“Bugger off,” Jeremy said as he stalked by his coworkers. “I’m finding my clothes and getting the hell out of here.” When he passed Edarra, she smiled.
“Not bad,” she said.
He glared at her. “Et tu, Amazon, et tu?”
“We’re on guard duty as part of our promise to handle Perry, but you can go to the office,” Clive said, his lips trembling with the effort not to laugh.