Witches for Hire (Odd Jobs #1)(65)

“Ten minutes,” Simone whispered, knowing that the countdown of time ground his nerves.

“Shut up!”

The performers were signaled to gather at the edge of the stage, so Jeremy hurried into line. A few looked at him and gave him reassuring smiles, and he smiled back because none of them were responsible for Desmond’s tasteless pranks.

“Good luck,” one of them whispered. Jeremy nodded to him. Unlike other magic acts, the assistants weren’t just one body type or gender. The only thing they had in common was that they were all fit. An announcer in a sparkling blue dress walked onstage, greeting the audience, and they responded with enthusiastic yells. She gave the usual spiel of “Are you ready to see an amazing show?” but her voice held a melodious tone that kicked up the excitement higher. She’s good. The announcers were irregularly selected to keep things fresh, so Jeremy might have only seen her once or twice when he secretly watched in the nosebleed seats. And tonight Desmond has me front and center.

The announcer finished her speech, and the crowd went wild as the curtain opened. Three assistants ran onstage in aerial movements to suddenly freeze in splayed out dancer’s poses that made Jeremy’s joints crack uncomfortably just watching. Jeremy’s cue would be after Desmond appeared. He strained his neck looking because that jerk hadn’t said how he would make an entrance. Desmond always kept it a secret so the surprise on his people’s faces would be as genuine as the audience’s. At least he has an outlet for his showmanship. When they were kids, Desmond had captivated even the most cynical with outlandish spells, barely toeing the line to not reveal magic in front of mortals. Jeremy doubted any other career would have satisfied him.

Smoke flashed onstage in a swirl and turned into a billowing cape. In its middle, the darker puffs solidified into Desmond’s arm, followed by the rest of his body. He whipped the cape to the side as he bowed. “Good evening, ladies, gents, and others. Tonight, we have an incredible performance for you, and a special guest. I present my assistant for the night, Jeremy Ragsdale, son of our esteemed senator!”

I should have known you’d get mileage out of me being your dancing monkey. Jeremy pasted on a wide grin and ran onstage to stand at his assigned position ten feet away from Desmond. The black stage surface gleamed where once a white X had been taped and Jeremy rehearsed hitting that mark over and over again.

“It’s his first night, so he’s a little shy.” Desmond waved at him. “Please give him a warm welcome.”

The crowd clapped and whistled. Jeremy wasn’t going to look like some shoddy cousin invited for a laugh, so he placed a hand on his abdomen, slid his foot out farther behind him, and lowered into a deeper bow than Desmond’s.

“Hold this, please.”

Jeremy blinked in surprise. That’s not what he’s supposed to say. He glanced at the magician and on reflex caught a knife coming straight at his face. “This isn’t the bloody routine!” Jeremy had no time to think as a longer knife came at him. He caught it with his other hand. We haven’t done knife throwing for seven years! This wanker is going to maim me!

Desmond reached into his pants. “Ah, I forgot another one.” He pulled out a long sword, and Jeremy’s mouth dropped.

“You throw that at me, and I’m going to hex you into the next world.”

Desmond wagged a finger at him in response. “Ah, ah, ahhh, Mr. Ragsdale. That’s not how an assistant behaves.” He held up the sword for the audience that had gone quiet to examine it.

“Don’t you throw that!”

Desmond looked at the audience and winked. “Should I?”

“Yes!” the audience shouted back.

“No!” Jeremy backed away. “I’ll run….” As he looked to the side, the other assistants blocked his exit with large walls that were supposed to be part of the first trick. “You’re all traitors!” The audience laughed, and Jeremy gritted his teeth. “I’ve had enough!” With two swift throws, he tossed the knives at Desmond’s head.

Desmond caught the first blade with his free hand, and the other one with his mouth. He took the blade out of his teeth and bowed before the cheering crowd.

Jeremy crossed his arms. “Show-off.”

“I haven’t even gotten started.” Desmond picked up his cape from the floor, and a bin of swords stood in its place.

“What are you going to do with all those?” Jeremy asked. I will blow up this bloody stage if you keep fucking with me!

“A game of catch, if you’re up to it, Mr. Ragsdale.” Desmond pointed the sword at him. “If you’re too weak to handle it, just say so.”

The audience booed, so Jeremy turned his back on them. “I’m not letting you goad me into this.”

Desmond sighed regretfully. “I’m sorry, everyone, but I heard that Mr. Ragsdale was a talented magician. I guess not everyone has my bravery.”

“Chicken!” Simone shouted from the side of the stage out of sight.

Even though it was obviously not an audience member who said it, the crowd chanted the word at Jeremy.

“I’m not—”

“Carolyn, break out the metal rings,” Desmond called to an assistant. “I think they’re more Mr. Ragsdale’s speed.” The audience booed harder.