Witches for Hire (Odd Jobs #1)(27)
“Take a look around and let me know if you see anything you like.”
A crashing sound came from the back of the store.
The cashier rubbed his hand over his face. “Dammit, Josh! It’s not that hard to stock.” He folded a partition away from the counter and walked toward the noise.
Jeremy wandered down the pristine aisles that resembled the neatness of a grocery store. It’d been years since he’d visited an adult store, and the changes made him feel old. He didn’t dare look at the toys dangling from racks. A single glance would summon the memory of fingers traveling down his nape and a name that few living called him by uttered from full lips demanding obedience. Playful brown eyes used to gleam down on him with mischief while deciding which new contraption suited Jeremy’s body. Jeremy swallowed hard. Not now. Don’t give in to those thoughts. He shook himself and reminded himself that he was there for business.
Name cards stood in between DVD shelves for genres he hadn’t seen before. He dragged his fingers over the edges of animated porn, skipping over women with inhumanly endowed breasts trapped in tentacles and milk squirting out of nipples. Interesting, but too distracting. His digit landed on a scantily clad couple with the telltale signs of everything that bored him in adult film. Straight sex and a guy with a dudebro haircut that made Jeremy envision flexing arms and Zoolander faces.
With his selection in hand, Jeremy headed to a group of locked cubicles. He gained entry after giving up five dollars. Once comfortable on the leather bench seat and surrounded by exaggerated moaning, Jeremy strained his ears to hear outside the booth. The stocker must have messed up again, because he could make out a litany of complaints from the cashier. If only they were stupid enough to spill energy-vamp secrets; then he could go home. He cracked the door open and peeked out. The cashier had returned to the register and had a perfect view if Jeremy crawled out. “Oh yeah, do that right there.” It was sad throwing out encouraging comments, especially since the mediocre fellatio accompanying the world’s worst soap opera wasn’t worth a dime of his money. “Pull that hair and make her scream.” Thank God he turned around! Jeremy balled up a pamphlet detailing Discount Thursdays and stuffed it in the lock before edging his body into the short hallway.
More sex-toy displays decorated his path, this time bigger and interspersed with sex furniture. A long black curtain separated the store from what Jeremy presumed was an office area, so he ducked under it. In front of him were two doors: one a unisex bathroom and the other unmarked. After turning the knob and finding it locked, Jeremy took a brass key with three thin prongs out of his pocket and placed it in the keyhole. It dematerialized into smoke when it came into contact with the lock’s mechanisms. Nebulous streams of air twisted and hardened until there was a small click. Covering his hand with his coat, he opened the door to an untidy office with papers strewn all over the desk. Jeremy pocketed the key and walked inside, shutting the door behind him. He raised his hand and tested the air for any concentrations of magic. Nothing in or on the desk stood out, but the wall pulsed with strange power. Probably a safe. Jeremy grinned. Just like the old days.
Jeremy reached in his pants pocket and pulled out gloves and a thin box. He held the box in his mouth while he slipped his hands into the gloves. After he tugged them in place, Jeremy took the box out of his mouth and opened it; a thin black spine shone in the fluorescent light. Jeremy walked to the section of wall leaking power and placed his hand over it. The painted surface dissolved, and a modern safe stood out. No burning sensation or stiffening of air to indicate any kind of real barrier. Such incompetence! Jeremy thought. There’s no bloody reason to even have a bloody safe if the protection spell is mostly disabled. Shaking his head, he stuck the spine onto the knob. Several spikes of magic popped out like a rainbow of spider legs. Jeremy turned the spine. Every time it hit one of the codes, there was a loud click. Jeremy looked over his shoulder. He wasn’t used to doing this while the occupants were still there. Finally the last tumbler unlocked it, and the door opened. That’s what you lazy lot get for not hiring a professional witch to manage your security. Amateurs.
Inside, notebooks and a square box were the safe’s only contents. Since the smartest burglary jobs were the quickest, Jeremy ignored the box and went for the notebooks. He put away his spine, grabbed his cell phone, and turned on the camera. Holding it steady, he flipped each page and quickly snapped pics without really looking at what he was capturing. Jeremy continued on to the second notebook. When he finished, he didn’t press his luck and returned the notebooks to their hidey-hole. He shut the safe and restored the illusion. Back in the hall, he searched for the employees. The cashier still faced away from him, but the stock worker had moved into the aisles, stacking movies in the ménage section. Jeremy smiled. This was not going to be the poor man’s day.
Ducking behind collars and leashes, Jeremy flicked his finger ever so slightly at a neatly stacked pyramid of movies. A DVD tipped over, setting off a domino effect of porn. The cashier shook his head, and his stocker bent to pick up the DVDs. Jeremy dashed into the video cubicle and pressed the Stop button just as the actress showed real pleasure from having her ass pounded. If they were that enthusiastic from the beginning, I wouldn’t have been so bored. Jeremy looked at the man staring at the camera and making duck face. Then again, I see why it took her so long to warm up to him.
He took out the DVD and returned it to its box. Opening the door, Jeremy pretended to just notice the stocker’s distress and walked to the register. He put the movie on the counter. “It was okay, but I’m not in the mood to buy. I’ll take a box of these, though.” Jeremy grabbed the overpriced condoms from the front display and handed them to the clerk.