Witches for Hire (Odd Jobs #1)(25)

“I WON’T wear the crown.” Clive stubbornly shook his head as cheers roared through the building when the white horse stood on its hind legs. What had possessed him to let Mia and Raj drag him to such a den of mockery to everything he stood for? “You said we would see knights. All I see is showmanship.”

Raj drank from his orange cup citing the cursed place’s name. “It’s part of the fun, so put it on.”

Mia sank her black and white crown on her head and smiled at Clive. “Don’t be such a baby.”

“You two should be as mortally offended as I am.” Clive groaned as the knights pranced on the dirt just as much as the horses had, swinging their weapons around like squires serving on their first day. “They’re an embarrassment to our kind. Why aren’t any of them performing magic? I deserve at least that as entertainment.”

“They don’t have magic. They mostly joust and say pretty words.” Mia stopped talking as the so-called king shouted for order. A young girl pretending to be his daughter stood by his side and waved gracefully to the crowd like the princess she was supposed to be.

The audience around them cheered louder, but Clive shook his head in disbelief. If this was back at home, all in the stands would have thrown their cleaned bones at them in protest. “I see no reason why you brought me here.” People in their section applauded as the black and white knight bowed before them. An elbow poked his side, so Clive clapped too. That phrase that Simone said in extreme situations always eluded him as to its exact definition, but at that moment he understood it. “I cannot even.” Covering his eyes wouldn’t remove the images, but he was tempted.

“There is great value in bringing you here,” Mia murmured so only Clive and Raj could hear. “In our world, we were heroes. The rank of knight meant the most powerful of wizards and a warrior whose sword could turn the tide of war. Here, they are relics who sat around a round table or went on quests. You have to accept that what we were in our world never happened here. Otherwise….” Mia pulled her cell phone out of her pocket.

Raj glared at her. “You don’t have to show everyone.”

She tapped the screen until a video came up labeled Crazy Man on Marta. The black picture box filled with Raj sitting down as he stared openmouthed at a book cover.

“That is it!” Video Raj cried out while pointing out the art on the book depicting a knight with long gold hair sweeping a woman behind him onto his horse. “No knight would be so vulgar, and why is he calling her a wench in the description? He is a fraud, and that armor isn’t worth a mercenary’s stipend.” He got up while waving his arms erratically. “And that wizard! No real mage would dare to wear stars and a pointy hat!” As he went on, two people in uniform approached him. He was told to quiet down, but Raj pushed them away from him. “I will speak my peace, you ignorant—”

Mia stopped the video. “I’ll end it there for my husband’s dignity.”

Raj ran his fingers through his thick black curls. “You were just as bad as me. The only difference was that no one had a camera phone ready to record it.”

“I don’t deny it.” Mia turned to Clive. “Which is why I’m showing you this. There is one lesson you never learned in those classes: how to laugh at yourself.” She faced the knights circling each other and exchanging blows in failed attempts in subtlety to not cause actual harm. “Because if you don’t learn to laugh, you’ll just become bitter.”




AFTER BEING bribed with a three-scoop ice cream cone when they left Medieval Times, Clive was in a better mood. There was wisdom in Mia’s and Raj’s forced outing, so he took it as an additional chore to earning his green card. “Two months out of Orientation, and I’m not dead or crying to go back home.” It was brisk outside, but still warm enough to walk a little before they returned to their car.

Mia nodded. “Congratulations. Any word on Edarra and the Witch’s Council?”

“They listened to reason, just like I knew they would. I had no idea Jeremy’s library was valuable enough for someone to break in. It was the burglar’s own fault for having a weapon.”

“How are you getting along now?” Raj asked in between licks on his chocolate and coffee flavored cone.

“There has been no new tension since the werewolf dispute was settled,” Clive said.

“That’s a shame.” Raj sighed heavily.

“Has my misery become your main source of entertainment?”

“No. We wanted to steal that Amazon away from you, but that won’t work if you’re a good boss.” Mia touched her shoulder where her knight’s brooch used to be clasped on her cloak in their old world. “There are no fealty oaths to break, so we poach the best talent we can find.”

“I give some weekdays off, and I bought the office an espresso machine.” Clive swiped off a dribble of ice cream from the cone’s edge. “I even got a #1 Boss mug from Simone.”

“Did you capture a car thieves’ ring of sorcerers?” Mia asked.

Oh rounding them and their demons up must have been fun. Clive tamped down his excitement so his voice stayed an uninterested monotone. “No, but I’m sure that happens all the time.”

“What about smash-and-grab jewel thieves who left behind gorgon snakes at the crime scenes?” Raj asked.