Why Not Tonight (Happily Inc. #3)(60)
*
NATALIE WOKE UP a little after seven to a horrible, heavy cramping sensation low in her belly. For a second she lay in bed wondering what on earth was wrong with her. Then she sat up with a whoop and ran to the bathroom. Seconds later, her happiness was complete and the cramps a delightful reminder that she’d been very, very lucky.
She showered, then got ready for work, all the while profoundly grateful that she hadn’t had to deal with any life-changing pregnancies or births. Just as soon as she got to her desk, she was going to call her doctor and make an appointment to get on birth control. Something easy, like the patch or the shots, would work better for her. She wasn’t sure she was a pill-every-day kind of girl. But either way, she would be on something as soon as possible.
As she walked to her car, she thought about all the decisions she now didn’t have to make. Despite knowing she would have kept and raised the baby on her own, she was happy she didn’t have to. There were no regrets, no might-have-beens. In her heart, she knew she wasn’t ready to be a parent. She still had to make decisions about her life and figure out what she wanted and where she was going. There were so many options right now. If she’d had to make changes, she would have, but she didn’t and yay.
Thank goodness she hadn’t said anything to Ronan. There would have been all kinds of drama and for nothing. Even telling him she wasn’t pregnant wouldn’t have taken their relationship back to where it had been before.
She had a feeling that putting off the pregnancy test wasn’t the lesson she was supposed to learn. That maybe she should be thinking more about taking responsibility for her actions. That the mature decision would have been not to suffer all those days in the first place, that burying her head in the sand, so to speak, wasn’t anything to be proud of.
She started her car engine, then shook her head as she realized that was the lesson. To be responsible—for herself and her body by being on proper birth control when actively sexual, for her mental state by dealing with the problem in the moment and not ignoring it because it was uncomfortable or scary. Which was a lot to deal with so early on a Friday morning, but still something to remember. Next time she would do better, she promised herself.
She drove to the bakery on the way to the office and picked up two dozen donuts. The guys would be done with their first training session and probably starving. She got a couple of scones for Atsuko, then went directly to the gallery. She arrived at the studio and had just finished setting out the donuts when Ronan walked out from the bathroom in back.
He looked good, she thought, her insides quivering at the sight of him. Freshly showered and pumped up from his workout.
“Morning,” she said. “How was it?”
“We ran four miles and did some push-ups and pull-ups. No big deal. Mathias and Nick went home to shower. I used the one here. It’s faster than driving back to my place.”
“Makes sense.” His house was halfway up the mountain. She motioned to the bakery box. “I bought donuts.”
“We’re supposed to be in training.”
She laughed. “Oh, please. It’s a charity event and none of you needs to lose weight. Are you telling me that a little sugar doesn’t sound delicious right now?”
He ran his fingers down the side of her face, then kissed her on the lips. “What kind of sugar are we talking about?”
“The bakery kind. Nothing more. We’re at work.”
“We are, but your place is very close.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Thoughts?”
“Some of us have a boss to report to.”
“You’re right. I don’t want to be a bad influence.” He studied her for a second. “You seem more relaxed today.”
“I am. There is a lot going on, but it turns out I was also dealing with some hormonal stuff. It’s a girl thing.”
“How come you get to say that but if I ever mentioned hormones I would get slapped?”
“I don’t know. It’s desperately unfair, isn’t it? Poor you.” She reached for a donut and took a bite. “I will leave you to your emotional pain.”
He pulled her close and kissed her again. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“Me, too.”
She went back into the gallery, all the while wondering how Ronan would have reacted if she had been pregnant. Not well, she thought. He was dealing with so much with his father and his biological mother. Rather he was not dealing with it. She wished there was a way to help him. A way to—
“Don’t do it,” she murmured as she walked to her desk. “Don’t force the issue.” As much as she wanted Ronan to move on, this problem was way bigger than her or their relationship. If she got involved, she would only mess things up. Her job was to be supportive and caring and let him figure it out on his own. Although if the right opportunity presented itself...
*
BY MONDAY, NATALIE was on a roll. Thanks to a weekend spent working on flowers, she was well ahead of her schedule and only had one table left to go. She’d checked in with Pallas and done a walk-through for a similar wedding so she could learn the flow of events. Her office work was complete for the day and she was taking the afternoon to work on something fun just for herself.
The large mixed-media piece was still in the forming stage, but she couldn’t help thinking butterflies and holly. A weird combination, but it didn’t want to get out of her head, and she’d learned that when it came to her art, she had to respect that. She sketched, then went through the small storage cabinet by her workstation. It was filled with all sorts of one-of-a-kind found objects. Things she’d picked up here and there or that had been given to her. She had crystals, rocks, bottle caps, buttons, pieces of ribbon, shards of glass, metal tins, erasers, dried flowers and leaves, beads, bits of fabric, bottles of glitter, yarn, thread, jewelry wire and dozens of other options.