Why Not Tonight (Happily Inc. #3)(52)

She turned and started walking. All sleepiness had faded. Anger gave her energy and purpose. She supposed she should feel bad about what she’d said, but she didn’t. Ronan deserved that and more. When she thought about losing her mom and how horrible that had been, she nearly wanted to slap him. He was being selfish and shortsighted. He didn’t know how lucky he was.

About halfway to her apartment, she became aware of his truck a block or so behind her, keeping pace. Because he wanted to make sure she was safe.

She thought about stopping and telling him she would really rather he left her alone and called his mother instead, but she didn’t. She kept walking, and when she reached her place, she went inside without once looking back.

After washing her face and changing into pajamas, she went into her small bedroom and sat on the floor. She pulled a box out from under the bed and opened it.

Inside were photographs of her with her mother or her mom by herself, including one picture of her mother as a bride, standing next to the father Natalie had never known.

He was a mystery to her. A figure she’d only heard about. She supposed she should miss him as well as her mom, but he was little more than a concept. Her mother had been real.

Natalie turned back to the box. There were a few pieces of jewelry, some favorite paintbrushes and the Kaleta family Bible, along with a beautifully embroidered shrug her mother had worn whenever she wanted to feel “fancy” and a tube of her favorite lipstick. Silly things, items that would have no value to anyone else. Natalie picked up the pictures and looked through them until the tears filling her eyes made it impossible to see anything. Still crying, she put them back in the box before curling up on the floor and sobbing for the one person who couldn’t be with her anymore.

*

RONAN DIDN’T SLEEP at all. He tried for about an hour, then gave up and went into his studio. Not that he could work by himself. Anything he was doing for his commission required multiple hands and even he wasn’t enough of an asshole to call up his assistants at two in the morning.

He paced for a while, then went into the kitchen and made coffee, but that wasn’t an escape. He could remember what it had been like to have Natalie in his house. How easy she’d made everything. How even now he could see her everywhere.

He’d never thought of her as touched by tragedy. Her story had shocked him. He’d known she lost her mother but hadn’t considered the event had been traumatic. She’d never talked about missing her, not the way she had tonight—he’d had no idea she’d suffered that much. She was so upbeat and happy all the time, yet underneath, she had her pain. Why hadn’t he known that before?

He’d hurt her, he thought as he carried his coffee back into the studio. Not directly, but she felt pain all the same. She thought he was wrong and unappreciative. She could be right about both—he didn’t know. But he did get that he had to make things better, not that he had a clue as to how.

He waited for the oven to get hot enough, then chose his materials. He had another of her origami pieces on his desk—a tiny lion—and studied it before trying to re-create it in glass. The sun was well above the horizon by the time he’d completed what he thought was a halfway decent piece. Then he went into the house to shower.

He got to the office close to noon and parked next to her shiny red car. It was only after he’d gotten out of his truck that he realized unless Natalie had called someone she would have been forced to walk to work. Something else he would have to answer for, he thought grimly.

He found her sitting at her desk. She looked pale and her eyes were puffy, as if she’d spent much of the night crying. As she looked up at him, he found himself hoping she wouldn’t apologize. She hadn’t done anything wrong.

He couldn’t agree with her about Elaine, but he thought he understood how the situation would push her buttons. As for appreciating what he had, when it came to his brothers, he knew she was right. They’d always been there for him and he’d spent the last couple of years being a jackass. All five of them had been lied to and Mathias had lost being a twin. Ronan wasn’t the only brother to have to deal with Ceallach’s crap.

“You’re late,” she said by way of greeting. “It’s nearly lunchtime. Do you really think you can come and go as you please?”

Her gaze was steady and he had no idea what she was thinking.

“Yes,” he told her. “I’m not an employee.”

“You have all the luck.”

He set the small glass lion on her desk. “I’m going to do better. It’s an interesting challenge. This is the best one I have for now. You still mad?”

She picked up the tiny piece of glass and put it on her palm. “I was never mad.”

“You acted mad.”

She stood and crossed to the shelf behind her desk. There were over a dozen small origami shapes there and the other piece of glass he’d made for her. She set this one next to it before turning toward him.

“We’re going to have to agree to disagree.”

“Can you do that?” he asked.

“Yes. Mostly. I’m sad about my mom.”

“I know. I’m sorry for what you went through. I’m sorry she’s gone. I understand that you miss her.”

“More than miss her.”

He nodded, not sure what else to say. “I’m sorry I upset you and I’m sorry I don’t appreciate what you think I have.”