Whipped (Hitched #2)(20)

"Lach. Lach, it's me."

I stop firing and open my eyes. Vi stands in the doorway, a rainbow of colors around her. I sigh in relief. "Sorry, babe."

"It's okay. It's your first time. At least you got to the bunker."

"I did, didn't I? Sorry for shooting you… Wait. There's no paint on you. You were like four feet away."

"Yeah. Your aim sucks."

I couldn't hit her from four feet away.

I.

AM.

FUCKING.

DOOMED.

Vi pats me on the shoulder. "Lach, you okay?"

"Yeah. Sure. Why?"

"You sound like you need an inhaler."

I chuckle. "It's the helmet."

She sits beside me under a window. "Okay. Now, stick your head out. Tell me how many people are in that next building."

"Why do I stick my head out?"

"You're less valuable."

Can't argue with that. I stick my head out. There's one, two… oh yeah, I can't f*cking see. I lower my head. "There's like four guys."

Vi smacks me on the helmet. "Like four guys, or four guys?"

"I don't know. I just saw blobs of darkness."

"Okay. I'll take care of it." She stands and starts firing. I get a blurry view of her ass. It inspires me to keep going.

Something hits my hand. It goes numb. "Fuck!"

Vi sits back down, hiding behind the wall. "What happened?"

I show her my hand. "It's bleeding."

"That's red paint."

Oh. It does not feel like red paint. And if you think it can't possibly hurt that much, then let me shoot your hand with a Skittle of Evil. You. Will. Cry.

Not that I'm crying, that is. Just… just shut the f*ck up.

"Pay more attention," says Vi.

"It'll be a lot easier if you weren't so distracting."

"Oh, so it's my fault you got shot."

I smile. "Exactly."

Though I can't see her face, I imagine her smiling back. She raises her gun and shoots my other hand.

"What the f*ck?"

"Now it is my fault you got shot. Want to blame me again?"

"Nope. I'm good." I flex my hands, trying to regain feeling. It doesn't work. "So, what's next?"

Vi looks out the window and then ducks her head back in. "Fuck. We're surrounded."

"It's the end, isn't it?"

She makes a fist. "We can't give up."

"What can we do?"

"Wait. Then die." She pulls off her helmet and frowns.

My jaw falls. "We can take our helmets off?"

"No. But who'll see?"

She's got a point. I rip my helmet off. Vision returns. I can breathe again. When I tell my children my favorite memories, this will be among them. Breathing.

I toss the vile thing aside. "Well, since the world is about to end, we might as well make the best of it."

Vi bites her lip. "What do you have in mind?"

I drop my gun and grab her waist. I press my lips against hers. "I need you, Vi."

"Lach. We can't."

I cup her ass. "We may never get another chance."

Her hand trails down my chest. Lower, lower. She stops. "No. We can't. People are counting on us."

"What people?"

She pulls away. "Our teammates. They need us." She shrugs. "Well, they need me."

"But—"

"No. Get your helmet back on. Besides, we're only on date two, remember?"

I grit my teeth and do it. Just one more date, Lach. Just one more date.

Vi puts on her helmet and grabs both guns. "I'll take the motherf*ckers out. You'll help."

I yank on her uniform. "How can I help without a gun?"

She pauses. "A lot more than with a gun."

She's got a point. "What should I do?"

"Run out and distract them. I'll use you as a human shield."

I raise a finger. Before I can object, she shoves me out of the bunker.

Oh f*ck.

I charge with my hands out. Paintballs swish around me. I think I see a box to hide behind. I dash forward. And then I am hit where no man should ever feel pain.

I collapse behind the box. Tears pour from my eyes. I feel like fireworks are going off in my balls.

Vi takes cover beside me. "What happened… Oh my God. Didn't you rent a cup?"

I spit as I talk. "I thought I'd save on the discomfort."

"Yeah. You look really comfortable."

"Fuck. Vi." I pull her closer. "I'm not gonna make it."

"Hang in there, stud."

"Tell my balls that." The pain builds. I can't take it anymore. My limbs go limp. I lie lifeless on the sand.

Vi screams at the heavens. Then she leans downs and whispers. "I will avenge you."

I see her blurry form jump up and unleash the Skittles of Evil. Blobs of darkness collapse under her assault. She is vengeance incarnate. She is death.

My cock starts to get hard before her beautiful display. Oh f*ck, that's not a good idea. Not when your testicles have been replaced with bowling balls on fire. I squeeze my thighs together to stop the erection. Thank God I googled this shit.