Where We Belong (A Touch of Fate #1)(28)

Something stirs deep inside of my body—a pull. A pull to be near her and touch her. My arm grazes hers as we walk and she smiles coyly without looking up. Her smile makes me happy...it always has. I dreamt of it several times over the years, and I’m overjoyed to finally see it again. I need to see her smile like this every day.

We both walk through the cafeteria line and Harley grabs a turkey sandwich and apple as I reach for the same. She finds us a table while I grab our bottles of water.

"So..." I pull out my chair and sit down as Harley bites into her apple. "This is way better than dog nuts, right?" I ask teasingly. Her eyes widen and she chokes back a laugh as a small piece of her apple flies from her mouth. I can't help but chuckle at the horror that crosses her face as she lifts her hand to her mouth.

"I can't believe I did that," she mumbles while giggling around the apple and through her hand. Her eyes shine with delight and a warm feeling settles in my chest.

"You can't believe you spit your apple at me?" I ask, amused. “Or that you told me you were going to eat dog nuts for lunch?"

"Both! And I didn't spit my apple at you," she says, throwing her napkin at my face. I catch it with a laugh. “And I wish I had actual buttons back, not these damn pictures of buttons." Lifting her hand, she inspects her fingers. "My fingers must be too fat because I think I'm hitting the letter ‘d’ and I really hit an ‘f.’"

"There's not an ounce of fat on your body, Harley." She smiles sweetly but doesn't respond and we both begin eating our lunch in comfortable silence.

I can't believe that I ever thought I could actually walk away from this...from her. I should have fought for Harley. The second she told me she loved me, I should have wrapped her in my arms and accepted what she was offering—her heart.

Instead, I threw it back in her face, making her feel like she did something wrong. The fact of the matter is that I was a scared little shit.

Five years ago, my life was on a different path. I had just decided to make a huge change and follow Brit halfway across the country. I’d already sent the letters and had my residency transferred, and we had already found a place to live. I was too scared to say, ‘I change my mind,’ too fearful of what would happen with my residency, too worried about what my parents would think, and too afraid to break Brit's heart. Therefore, I made a split-second decision that I have regretted for years. I would give anything—hell, I’d give everything—to be able to go back and do things over.

I've learned a lot over the past five years, the most important of which is that sometimes I have to put me first. I have to fight for what I want and, truth be told, five years ago I wanted Harley.

Her fingers lightly graze my knuckles, catching my attention, and my head snaps up to meet her curious face. "Penny for your thoughts?" she says quietly. Her eyes are wide like she's scared to actually hear my answer. I don't respond right away and she lowers her head to take a bite of her sandwich. I can feel the tension growing between us and I can't let that happen.

I slouch back in my seat and watch her, waiting for her to look at me again. She must notice that I'm staring at her because she lifts her head. I open my mouth to speak, but she beats me to the punch. "I missed you," she blurts and all of the tension instantly drains from my shoulders. Good Lord, I really needed to hear that.

I smile tenderly. Any other woman would have probably been horrified at blurting out such an honest statement, but not Harley. She stares at me openly, patiently waiting for me to reply. "I was thinking about how I would do things differently with you if I could rewind time," I say, itching to divulge so much more. I need her to know that I made the biggest mistake of my life and I have no intention of ever letting go of her again, but I know I need to do this slowly. I want to do this right.

Her eyes soften and appear wistful. Reaching out, she grips the top of my hand. "We have a lot to talk about. So much has happened since you left, and I really do want to tell you all about it—" Lowering her head, she takes a deep breath. When she looks at me again, her eyes are glistening with tears. "And I will, but not here. I also want to hear all about everything you've done and experienced, but right now...right now I just want this. I want to get reacquainted with the friend that I lost."

I don't miss the fact that she said ‘friend,’ which is understandable because that's what we are. That's all I’ve ever allowed us to be, but come hell or high water, that's going to change.

I scoot forward in my seat, not breaking eye contact. "Harley, I—"

My words are cut off when someone plops down in a chair next to me. Turning my head, I find Laura, one of the nurses in the ER. "Hey, Harley!" she says with a smile. "Dr. Grawe." She nods at me and then turns her gaze back to Harley. "Do you guys mind if I join you?"

Yes, we mind. Find another table.

"Sure," Harley says sweetly. "How are you? Busy day?"

"So-so," Laura shrugs. "How's Max doing?"

Who the f*ck is Max? I watch Harley intently. Her face takes on a dreamy appearance and she tilts her head, giving Laura an easy smile. "He's great...really great. Thanks for asking."

Again, who the f*ck is Max? And what's so great about him?

Harley looks up and when our eyes meet, she straightens her back. I watch her appearance go from laidback and happy to nervous and uncomfortable. Whoever Max is, she doesn't want to talk about him. Her eyes flit nervously between Laura and me. What's that about?