When the Heart Falls(32)

"What if they don't?"

I lift my finger and cover his with it, our hands intertwining while we pretend to ignore it. "You adjust your expectations. I love my sister, Summer, but we never talk about writing. It bores her to death, and that's okay. We talk about something else. I talk about writing with my cousin. There comes a point where you have to accept that people are doing the best they can with what they have, and you have to learn to be okay with it."

"What if I can't?"

"You work harder at it." I pull our linked hands into the air, forcing us to acknowledge that we're touching. "What do you want from your father?"

He looks down at our hands, tightening his around mine as he scoots closer to me. He's fighting his own vulnerability, but when he looks up his eyes are moist. "Acceptance. I want him to accept me as I am, to love me for who I am and not who he wants me to be."

How could anyone not love this man? How could any parent not be proud of what he's accomplished? Of his brilliance and kindness and integrity.

"How do I make him accept me?" His question cuts at my heart. "Can you sniff out the answer to that?"

I wish I could give him an answer that will make him feel better, but I can only give him the truth as I see it. "You don't make him. You can't. You have to accept your relationship as it is. Otherwise… "

"What?"

My heart breaks with his. "Otherwise, you have to end the relationship."

His tears don't fall, but I know the pain is deep. How do you choose between being in a relationship with a father who despises you, or ending that relationship and likely cutting yourself off from your whole family?

Our food arrives, and the spell is broken. He lets go of my hands, which are now cold and lonely, and clears the table of our books. We eat in silence, neither of us sure what to say. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, or served him platitudes he wanted to hear, but I can't do that. It wouldn't be fair to him or his relationship with his father. A fear seizes me. What if he cancels our tutoring sessions after this and I lose my best friend?

Instead, he sips his soda and smiles at me. "So, what was that about an escort business?"

I nearly choke on a steamed vegetable. "We're not going into that."

He raises his hands in mock innocence. "Hey, you brought it up. Now it's time to spill the beans."

I groan. "Okay. Fine. For my first days of high school, Autumn insisted on picking out my wardrobe. I won't go into the details of what I wore that first week, but let's just say the Pope would have had a heart attack if I walked by. As you can imagine, I drew a lot of attention, especially from the male and lesbian population. Some of the bi-sexual too, but that's a different story. Later that week, my parents got a phone call from my history teacher. He said he was worried about his students' ability to focus with me in the classroom. My dad asked if the teacher wasn't simply worried about his ability to focus in the classroom with me there."

Cade laughs at that, and it feels good to see him smiling again.

"That led to a meeting with the principal. In the end, my parents conceded that though I looked great and could have had a promising career as a high end escort, I had to stop letting Autumn pick out my wardrobe."

"Did you stop?"

"Of course." I feign shock at his question. "I picked out my own clothes the next day."

"And?" His lips twitch in a grin, and my heart skips a beat.

"Let's just say I was transferred out of history."

Cade laughs, and I start laughing, drawing attention to us both.

Vincent interrupts us with apologies and a bottle of champagne. "You having a good time?"

"Yes, we are." I move my empty plate out of the way. "Thank you."

"Great. I have a gift for you." He hands me the chilled bottle.

"Thank you, but… why?"

"It is American holiday, no?"

"Yes, that's very thoughtful of you." I place the bottle on the table between Cade and me.

"It is my pleasure. Enjoy, Mademoiselle. Enjoy, Monsieur." Vincent hands Cade the check and leaves.

When I turn back to Cade, his smile has turned to a frown and he's watching Vincent as he makes the rounds.

"You want to get out of here?" Cade leaves cash on the check and stands to go.

"Um, sure." I worry that we'll offend Vincent by leaving the champagne unopened, but since I don't drink, I'm not sure what else to do with it. I stand and grab my coat and bag. "Where do you want to go?"

"I have an idea. Come on."

"Wait," I say. Cade's hat is on the table, and I pick it up and put it on my head. "How do I look? Like a cowgirl?"

"Yes, just like. May I have it back now? Please?"

I take it off and give it back to him, my mood dropping with his. "Sure. Sorry."

He dusts off the hat and puts it on. "It's okay. I'm just not used to other people wearing it."

I can tell the hat has sentimental value for him, but I think I've sniffed out enough of his secrets today, so I don't press the issue. Instead, I link my arm with his and smile. "Where are we going?"

"You'll find out." He smiles a devilish grin. "If you don't mind escorting me outside?"