When I'm With You (Little Hollow Series, #2)(45)
I spot the headstone she picked out for herself and freeze in front of it, staring at the etched words.
I drop to my knees lightly, not taking my eyes off the cold slab. “Hey, mom.” I don’t know what I’m expecting, but when I don’t get a reply, I break down. “It’s not the same without you around. Knowing you were going to die didn’t make it any easier like you said it would. We got to say goodbye but I think that’s what hurt more, watching you deteriorate and turn frail just about killed me. Fuck!” I slam my fist into the ground. “It’s not fair, you were one of the good ones.”
After a few minutes of letting my emotions run free, I take deep breaths to steady my shaking hands. My chest heaves up and down as I start to get control of myself, I feel like a little boy again but I don’t care. I’ve never been one to shy away from showing my emotions no matter how hard pop’s tried to get me to hide them, it’s just not who I am. I’m hot headed and I’m not afraid to share my opinion about whatever is bothering me, if I’ve got something to say, I say it.
“I know pop and Jacques still haven’t visited, but they will. They just need some more time I guess. But I had to come talk to you. I won’t tell you what’s been going on with them ‘cause you’ve probably already seen it. Shit, I can see you giving both of them a beating, I know I sure as hell want to.” I shake my head at the thought of walking in on my sixteen year old brother, sleeping with a club broad, in my bed.
“I don’t really know what to say now, I feel pretty stupid talking to a slab of marble. I guess… I guess I just needed to be close to you.” I look down and play with my fingers. “I know I was never the perfect son, hell, I’ve made more mistakes in my twenty-five years than I’d like to admit. But I hope you know how much I loved you, fuck this is hard!”
I wipe at my face and look up at her headstone once again. “I’m gonna head on out now, but I’ll be back soon, I promise.”
I was so broken after she passed away and I found that coming here helped me heal a little. I look up and see the same distraught expression on Jacques’s face that must’ve been on mine that first time. I lean against a nearby tree and watch as Jacques talks animatedly, he laughs and then his face turns to anguish as he seems to whisper something, running his fingertips over the top of the headstone again. I take this as my cue to join him again.
“You ready to go?”
He looks at me, looking paler than he did earlier. “Yeah, I think so.”
He gets up and turns and walks away, leaving me to say bye to mom. I kiss my fingertips, place them on top of the headstone, and whisper that I love her, telling her I’ll be back to see her real soon.
As I approach my bike, Jacques doesn’t look at me, he keeps his head facing the other way and I don’t try talking to him, knowing he needs this time to process things. And by the look of things, he still isn’t feeling all too clever after last night.
We ride back to the clubhouse in silence but on arrival, there’s a crowd of brothers all shouting the odds off in the car park.
“You can’t fuckin’ do this, Taz.”
“It’s not your clubhouse, Taz.”
And then the familiar voice of my best friend, Smokey, chimes in. “Open the fuckin’ door, Taz, or I’ll break it down and then you’re next!”
What the hell is going on?
I push my way through to Smokey. “What’s this all about?”
He thumps his fists against the clubhouse door before turning to me. “Taz, man! He’s fuckin’ locked us all out, tells us we can’t come in today.”
“He’s done what?” The booming voice behind us makes Smokey turn slowly on the spot.
I turn to face Pres. “Apparently, your brother is staging a one person lock in.” I raise my brows at him sarcastically.
“Move.” He pushes past us and starts banging on the door. “Merl, you open up this goddamn door or… Or I’ll fuckin’ take your title away.”
Everyone in the car park turns eerily silent as the threat lingers in the air. My lip curls up in one corner, he’s finally fucked up enough that even his own brother can’t protect him anymore.
“Fuck you, Daryl! This is just as much my clubhouse as it is yours!” Taz says, flinging the door open and squaring up to Pres.
Pres straightens to his full six feet, he has three inches on him and we all wait on bated breath to see what’s gonna go down between the two brothers. “This is my clubhouse, don’t you forget it!”
“I’m the VP of this club, don’t try act all high and fuckin’ mighty. You’ve relied on me-”
He’s cut off when Pres grabs him by the throat and slams him up against the outside of the building. “You’re getting on my last nerve, brother.”
Taz looks around everyone frantically. I don’t know what he’s looking for, no one is going to help him.
“Don’t undermine me again, this is your only warning or so help me I’ll have your ass in the shed with Grim faster than you can say you’re sorry.” He throws him to the ground. “Now get the fuck out of our way!” He growls.
The shed is the last place anyone wants to go, especially with Grim of all people. Its other name is the torture hut. Taz jumps up and stares us all down as we walk past. I can’t help it, I wink at him and he launches a fist at my mouth.