What Doesn't Destroy Us (The Devil's Dust #1)(19)

A vibrating noise on the night stand next to the bed catches my attention. It is Shadow's cell phone. In his rush to avoid me this morning, he forgot it. I pick it up. It reads '1 missed call'. I wonder who called him. I can't stop the suspicion in my gut, so I open the cell phone. The missed call is from someone he's dubbed 'BITCH'. I’m sure he has lots of bitches. He should probably number them, bitch 1, bitch 2, I could be bitch 3. I growl at myself, thinking I, too, am just some bitch to get his rocks off. I bet tonight he will be in bed with a different bitch. Well, I'll just make sure he thinks of me while doing it.

I open the contacts to put my cell number in. For a contact name, I start typing 'Dani'. Unexpectedly, his voice echoes in my mind from last night; “Goddamn, you smell like heaven”. I smile at the memory. I delete what I typed and put in the name, 'Heaven'. I angle the camera at myself, sex up my bed-head with my fingers and pinch my cheeks. I pull the sheet up over my breast, bite my lip and take the picture. Not too bad. I look like I was just f*cked seven shades from Sunday; exactly what I was going for. It will make a great contact photo. If he doesn’t delete the picture, he will always remember me and him last night.

How pathetic am I? Even with the thought that he used me, I still want him.

I get up to put some clothes on. Stepping over my white panties reminds me of the loss of my purity. My clit tingles just thinking about how Shadow took me with his deceitful ways. My body betrays me as easily as he did. Grr... I need to push him out of my mind; forget him. But having given Shadow something as special as my virginity makes me feel connected to him in a way I know he doesn't share. I feel stupid, and to be honest, a little hurt.

I grab my suitcase to see if I have any clean clothes left. I should probably see if there's a washer and dryer in the clubhouse. How convenient; a black bra and panties set; that should match my promiscuous ways. When I start to slide on my panties I see blood between my thighs. Shit, I need a shower.

I let the hot shower wash off everything from last night. It is bitter sweet. I want proof of what happened off of me, but don’t. I grab some soap and lather it up between my hands, it smells like Shadow. I smile at the recognition. I rub the dried blood off with the soap, the smell of Shadow soaking into my skin.

I slip my sinfully colored panties and bra on and open the closet to see if there's any kind of shirt I can throw on. Luckily, there are a few with the Devil's Dust logo of a skeleton hand crushing a skull. I grab the black one and put it on. It engulfs my slim figure, so I tie the bottom corner hem into a knot. Reaching back into my bag, I find some blue jean shorts to put on.

A smooth voice startles me. “Damn, you were born to wear that shirt.” It's Shadow, studying me from top to bottom with beastly eyes. The sound of his voice brings hurt to my soul and desperation to my loins.

“You're back,” I respond, trying not to sound excited. “I didn’t think I would see you again today.”

“Yeah, I forgot my phone,” he says, grabbing it off the night stand.

Awkward silence fills the room; neither of us knowing what to say about last night.

Great, here it comes: “I didn’t mean for last night to happen,” or, “it's not you, it’s me”. I don't think I can handle the rejection. Even though I knew this was a probability, actually hearing I was just a one-night stand coming out of his beautiful mouth might kill me.

“You don’t need to explain, Shadow. I get it.” My eyes start to sting. Holding back my emotions may be harder than I thought. I stare out the window trying to avoid eye contact.

Shadow scoffs, “I'm glad you understand what’s going on, because I ain’t gotta f*cking clue.” His confession throws me for a loop. Is he just as confused about our chemistry as I am? Is there chemistry? Maybe I'm not just a one-night thing. I shake my head; I'm getting ahead of myself. These games are exhausting.

“So, why don’t you clue me in, seeing as how you've got it all figured out,” he says, his tone unreadable.

When I face him, his expression is sincere. He looks lost even.

“Dani, last night-“ Shadow is cut off from a knock at the door. Panicked, I start looking around the room; looking for somewhere to stuff him. I start pushing Shadow toward the closet in a desperate attempt to conceal him.

“Are you f*cking serious?” he whispers, when he realizes I am shoving him into the closet.

“Yes, I’m serious,” I whisper back. “What if it’s my mom or dad? Go, and be quiet.”

I shut the closet door and notice the condom on the floor next to the trash can. Shit. I grab it and throw it in the bathroom trash; I grab some toilet paper and throw it on top to hide it. I run back and open the door my mother is pounding at, trying not to seem panicked.

“Are we over our temper tantrum“? My mother asks, walking in. She looks like shit. She's pale and still wearing the same clothes from last night.

“Mom, I –“ she cuts me off, pointing at my shirt.

“What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Wearing?” she snaps, her eyes as wide as saucers.

I look down at the shirt I’m wearing. “I found it in the closet. It looked comfy,” I profess.

She walks over to me and tugs at the top, trying to take it off me. “No. No daughter of mine will wear this shit,” she says, frantically.