What Doesn't Destroy Us (The Devil's Dust #1)(13)

I want to hug him for what happened to them, but I know he is not looking for sympathy. In fact, I’m sure just telling me something that personal is probably hard for him. I really just figured he would tell me his favorite color, or to screw off. Truthfully, he is as broken as I am, we are both damaged. I reach my hand out to grab his, to offer him some kind of peace. He looks down at our hands embraced, his hand much bigger than mine. The fire that was there when our hands touched earlier, starts to ignite again. He pulls his hand away roughly, and shakes his head. What is he shaking his head at? Me, himself, or us?

“Dani, don’t read anything into this, there’s nothing between us. Being together is a hell we can't afford to explore.” He presses his hand on the small of my back to guide me toward his bike. “Come on, let’s get you back to the club.” His hand on my back shoots waves of ecstasy through my veins. I want him to bend me over his bike and have his way with me; who cares if I'm just a notch on his belt anymore.

I sigh internally. My body, soul, and mind are so confused. I can't deny the way Shadow affects me, but he is right. Anything between us would lead to an even bigger hell than we both already live. My father would kill him, and my mother would kill me, or throw me out on the streets with nothing like she has threatened to my whole life. Our lives as we know them would forever change if we became anything more than friends. I feel alive while I am with Shadow, so high on adrenaline I throw caution to the wind. We are dangerous around each other. Maybe just eye-f*cking from across the room would be in our best interest. But being alone in a bedroom, having hell and heaven in the same room, would be monumental.





The ride back from the beach is awkward; Shadow is tense the whole time compared to how relaxed he was on the ride there. He keeps his hands on the handle bars and not on my thigh. I can tell he is not happy he told me something personal. I wish I hadn’t pushed him to share.

We pull up to the clubhouse and I see my mother outside. To say she has a scowl on her face is an understatement. I climb off the bike and she instantly starts yelling at me regardless of the many people around. Apparently the after party has started.

“Where the hell have you been? Why are you on that bike with the likes of him?” She slurs. I raise an eyebrow. I don’t think I have ever seen my mother drunk before.

She grabs my arm as I try to walk past her. “You answer me right now,” she yells, gathering more attention from everyone.

I yank my arm away from her and glare in her direction; she stumbles backwards from the force of my tugging. How dare she ask where I was? And why I was on the back of his bike is even less of her business. Screw her and her lies. I am no longer going to follow her every wish and command. It’s time to start thinking for myself; living my own life. As I continue past her, she starts screaming at Shadow to stay away from me. I'm sure he won’t argue with that.

The clubhouse is crowded with people. I smell cheap perfume mixed with alcohol and cigarette smoke. There's a funny smell that I assume is marijuana. The lights are low so it's hard for me to recognize anyone as I push my way through the main room. Twisted Sister's “We're Not Gonna Take It” is blaring from the stereo system and I think how fitting that song is for what I'm feeling at this exact moment. I'm not gonna take my mother's shit anymore. It'll be hard for her to throw me out now that Bull and I have gotten close. That should piss her off.

I make my way to my room and lock the door. My dad, eh, Bull, asked me to stay in here so I sit on my bed unsure of what to do next. I don’t know if I should call him dad or Bull; everything is still so awkward. I look over and see a laptop on the dresser. Hmm, I wonder if the internet has anything on the club. Maybe then I can see why my mother is so concerned. I reach over and grab the laptop before giving it a second thought.

When the browser loads, I type in “Devil's Dust Motorcycle Club”. The search engine instantly pops up with pages of news articles; yikes. The club has been linked to multiple murders, missing persons, possible gun running, and the list goes on and on. Holy shit, I’m not prepared for this. After opening every news story and article it seems they have never been charged with any of the allegations they were supposedly “linked” to. Witnesses either went missing, were found dead, or changed their story. Hmm? Well you know what they say, “innocent until proven guilty”. I slap the laptop closed not wanting to dig any further. Deep down I know better, but this is the story I am sticking to. I feel safe here, maybe it is because I’m the president’s daughter. I know nobody will f*ck with me, or they will end up in a ditch or with a bullet in their leg. I lay back on the bed. I can hear the music thumping against my wall. I could just go grab a soda and come right back. No harm in that, right? I can even go check on my mother; she was pretty pissed.

I open my door slowly and peek out; it is still crazy. Cigarette and marijuana smoke fill my lungs, making me cough. It’s loud and people are everywhere. I slide out of the door and go to the end of the hall where my mom's room is. When I open the door she is passed out with a bottle of booze next to the bed. Good Lord; how pathetic. I cover her up with a blanket and lock and shut her door as I leave.

When I make my way into the main lobby, I'm shocked. I've never seen so many people with so few clothes on in my life. I see people dancing on each other, giving lap dances, and others just genuinely having a good time. The stereo is now blaring “Figured You Out” by Nickleback, another one of my favorites. Not really noticing anyone, I head for the kitchen. Just before entering, I glance back at the crowd and like the Red Sea parting, there's a clearing of bodies. My vision reaches into the corner where the club whore, Candy, is straddling Shadow's lap. My blood heats to a dangerous level; the scene making me jealous.