What Doesn't Destroy Us (The Devil's Dust #1)(8)

“Yeah, some little boy and his mother were hit by a drunk driver. They can’t afford the doctor bills so we rebuilt a bike we’re going to auction off for the family. Things will get crazy here during the after party. I know I haven’t been your dad more than ten minutes, but I would rather you stay in this room when the party comes back here.” He has such sorrow and regret in his voice. I couldn’t hate this man if I wanted to. I know as well as anyone my mother is a hard person to love. What happened when they were younger is none of my business, but something tells me he’s not as bad as my mother portrays him to be.

My mom opens the door, not even bothering to knock. She avoids eye contact with my father. “Thanks for having us here, Bull, we already feel welcomed,” her tone fake as she rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, anything to keep my daughter safe, Lady.” He can tell by her tone she is being a bitch.

“Yes, I can see you're such a great father,” she retorts, throwing her hands on her hips as her eyebrows furrow.

“If it wasn't for her, I would send your ungrateful ass packing,” he yells, pointing at the door. His body, so huge and tense; his voice, ominous and rough, makes me scared. “What you did was unforgivable, not telling me I had a daughter.” He’s not wrong there. I am still floored she never told him about me; something I'm not sure I will ever forgive her for either.

“Why in the hell would I tell you? You told me you didn’t want me. I gave up everything to be with you, and you made it more than clear you didn’t care.” Her voice is quivering; emotional. I have never seen my mother have any kind of emotion. I never thought she was human enough for it, she practically taught me to hide my feelings.

“That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want her, and you know it,” he snaps, pointing in my direction. “And, I never said I didn’t want you.” His vicious tone turns cold, making me shift in my seat. This is so uncomfortable; can I go get a soda or something?

“I didn’t want this life for her, she is on a great path, she has a future and it’s not biker trash.”

Ouch.

He stood silent. This is so awkward, but I am with my father on this one. I glare at my mother, she is pissing all over him when he has been kind enough to help us out with the shit she got us into.

“That’s how you see me, huh? Biker trash,” he says softly, hurt.

I stand, not sure what to say, but I can't allow my mother to trample on him anymore.

“There’s a room at the end of the hall you can stay in, Lady. This is a lot for Dani to take in. I'm sure she could use some alone time.”

“Don’t tell me what my daughter needs, you know nothing about her,” her face scrunches. ”She needs her mother and that is what she will have. Don’t you have some slut to attend to?”

“Enough!” I yell, throwing my hands up. I can’t take this back and forth bickering any longer, damn. I thought Shadow said they were hashing it out earlier.

Bull turns and leaves, slamming the door behind him. My mother falls on the bed and rests her head in her hands.

“I never should have brought you here. I shouldn’t have involved you.” She lifts her head to look at me. “I know your head is spinning with the disgust of this place, and that man that calls himself your father.”

“I agree with him, Mother; I need some space.” She looks up at me with disbelief. It's not very often I disagree with her. “I know you are going through something terrible with Stevin right now, but how could you keep all this from me. I deserved to know, and you were selfish not to tell me. Just because Bull didn’t want you, didn’t mean he didn’t want to be my father. Do you know how hard it was growing up without a father, and then to make it worse you refused to tell me anything about him.”

She scoffs at my response. “Don’t be so dramatic.

“I did what I thought was right, Dani. You are not one of these people; you are better.” She shocks me, I have never heard her say I was a good person, or better than anyone for that matter. Who is she trying to fool with this mommy of the year bullshit? “I will give you space,” she continues, “but you tell me if you see anything you're uncomfortable with; anything. If one of them comes on to you, you tell me. They’re pigs, savages. A beautiful girl like you, they will come flying to your door.” She stands, making her way toward the door. “Hopefully they are smart and stay away, you being the president’s daughter,” she mumbles.

“Yeah, I get it, Mom. They are bad, mean, nasty, biker trash,” I mock. I open the door, trying to get her the hell out. I’m confused with all of this, I don’t think they are the enemy. In fact, I find it all to be sort of familiar. Maybe I was destined to be biker trash. I can literally feel the walls of school, religion, appearance, anything that wasn’t my father; collapsing around me. I am numb now; I don’t know what I feel or want anymore. Everything I ever believed is a lie. I don’t know who I am anymore.





The last several days have been mostly uneventful. My mother keeps her distance for the most part. She just keeps asking if anyone is bothering me; playing her role of concerned mother. Bull and I are getting closer. For the most part, we've only been able to talk about movies and music, because, of course, my mother butts in any chance she gets. She has really been pissing me off.