Waiting on the Sidelines (Waiting on the Sidelines #1)(53)

She walked me to my room and laid me on my bed, sitting next to me and stroking my hair. I just looked at her, quivering a little with tiny sobs, trying to make them stop. When I finally was able to hold my breath steady for a few moments, I just uttered the truth. “My heart hurts, mommy. Really bad.”

She just leaned over and held me tightly again, stroking my hair and rocking me back and forth. “I know sweetheart. I know.”

She didn’t lecture me. She didn’t warn me, or say anything to prevent me from loving a boy ever again. She never even uttered Reed’s name. She understood what it was to be a girl with a broken heart. She knew that even though I was 16, what I felt was very real, as real as it would be if I were 37.

She sat there with me for an hour until I finally felt human. We heard the sounds of my dad’s truck pulling into the driveway and my mom kissed my forehead and told me that she’d bring me in a plate later. She pulled my door closed and met my dad in the hallway. I could hear them talking, and was so relieved when she was covering for me, knowing that my dad would react to my heartache as a father would.

“Something she ate at work, maybe? She’s pretty tired from being sick just now. I told her I’d check on her later, let’s just sit outside tonight for dinner. Give her some quiet,” and then they were in the kitchen and soon after I was asleep.



The harsh realities of the next morning were upon me. I had to get ready for my shift at work. My shift with Reed. I needed to take control of the power. I packed my bag and drove in for the morning shift, five hours earlier than I needed to be there for the afternoon. Penny was a little surprised when she saw me walk up.

“Sweetie, showing up awful early, aren’t you?” she sassed.

I exhaled and plopped my bag up on the counter, leveling with her.

“Penny, I need your help,” I pleaded.

“Sure, whatcha need? Help with the timesheet again?” she asked, getting out a form from her desk.

“No…I think I need to change my schedule. I’ll work midnight if I have to, but I just can’t work my normal hours. I can’t be here…with Reed,” I said slowly, softly.

Her eyes shot up as she called me back to her desk, pulling out the master schedule. “Well, I’m not so sure what happened between yesterday and today, but I know that look in your eye. I’ve been there, so let’s see how I can help,” she said as I sat down next to her.

We went through the weeks and were able to move me to mornings most days. There were a few days that I would still be on his schedule, but none for the next two weeks or so. When we were done, she patted my knee and grabbed my hand for just a second.

“I know what you’re feeling, and I know it probably feels like a bullet went through your gut, but I promise darlin’… it gets better,” she smiled. I gave her a hug, partly to hide the tears welling up in my eyes.

I left her desk and headed to the locker room to change and join the morning shift. I checked my phone one more time to see that I only had a few more texts and missed calls from Reed. He seemed to be stopping his pursuit, which both made me sad and relieved.

I joined the morning group, which was mostly college-aged staff members who were trying to get their work out of the way early before summer classes. I noticed that Tyler was also here for the morning shift. He spotted me right away and gave me a little shrug, asking what I was doing here. I just shrugged back and mouthed that I would explain later. Probably a mistake since I wasn’t really up for talking about Reed, especially with Tyler.

By the time my break rolled around, Tyler was right there next to me. I grabbed a drink and slid into one of the sling-back chairs stashed in the shade by the snack counter. Tyler sunk in next to me seconds later. “Fancy meeting you here,” he said, holding out his sports drink as if to toast the day with me. I clinked my plastic bottle to his and just smiled.

“Bottoms up,” I said, taking a drink.

“So, this is a new time for you, isn’t it?” he shot right out of the gate.

“Yeah,” I said, pulling my knees up and exhaling a little loudly.

“OK,… not up to talking about it I guess,” he said, nudging me a little.

I sat there soaking in the awkwardness. I knew a lot of time was passing, but I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to say, if I even wanted to say anything.

“I had a fight with Reed,” I just blurted out, surprising myself a little. Immediately I wanted to retract it, but instead I just made it worse. “Well, not really a fight. I just saw something. Maybe I didn’t. Either way, it wasn’t good. Whatever I saw was bad no matter what it meant, and I just can’t…”

I just turned to stare at him, shrugging again. He reached his bottle over again for another toast. I reciprocated. “I get it. We’re *s,” he took a drink, paused and looked out over the pool. “You deserve better.”

I laughed a small awkward laugh and then we sat there in silence the rest of the time. Finally, comfortable silence. I had two or three more breaks with Tyler before my shift was done. He didn’t push me to talk more about Reed, but he was exceptionally respectful and friendly. I got the impression he was trying hard to distract me.

When my shift was over, I rushed through the locker room, not changing completely and leaving my suit on just to speed things up. I wanted to get through the parking lot and on the road before Reed arrived. I was rushing by Penny’s desk when I snagged the handle of my bag on the door to the supply room, ripping it open and dumping my contents all around the entrance. I hurried on my hands and knees picking everything up, swearing a little under my breath. Penny rushed around the counter to help me, handing me a plastic bag for my things.