Waiting on the Sidelines (Waiting on the Sidelines #1)(106)

I looked at Sienna for guidance and she just smiled. “Go, this is what Sarah is best at,” she was referring to our conversation earlier. “You can’t put this off; you’re going to have to confront him eventually. You might as well go while you’re packing a secret weapon,” she motioned to Sarah.

She was right. They both were. I was terrified. It was all going to be over tonight, and in my heart I knew it. I guess I had been putting it off because I didn’t want it to end, but the last few months had been so miserable, it wasn’t really worth the heartache any more.

Sarah and I snuck out the door as Sienna locked up and we headed to her car. The drive through the desert was quiet and determined. As we got closer to the campgrounds, Sarah started to talk. “Nolan, you deserve better than this. I know I’m not a great model for relationships. I have a new boyfriend every week. But you’re better than that. You and Reed aren’t supposed to be like this… this is poisonous, and I won’t let him destroy you,” she reached over and grabbed my hand. She was right and I was so thankful to have her and Sienna at my side.

We pulled in and shut the lights off. I took a deep breath and gathered my inner strength before getting out of the car, glad I had worn my comfortable jeans and sweatshirt since it was freezing outside.

There were pods of people drinking on car hoods and in pickup beds everywhere. There was a new crowd added in, the new junior class and some underclassmen that wanted to get in with the ‘cool crowd.’ The thumping of the music was distracting, and there weren’t many lights, so it was hard to see in the distance. Finally, Sarah recognized Calley’s car and motioned for me to follow her.

Calley’s car? My blood pressure was shooting up now and I was getting stronger with every step we took. We pushed past a small fire pit and found a few people sitting on a grouping of picnic tables. I recognized the silhouette of his back in the firelight and stopped in my tracks. Sarah was still looking around and hadn’t noticed yet. He was sitting there with a beer in his hand and talking…to Calley. He could talk to her.

As if I was possessed by someone far stronger than myself, I stormed up to his table and flipped the hat he was wearing backwards off his head. That f*cking hat, I always thought it was so adorable. I wanted to shove it down his throat right now.

“What the f*ck,” Reed said, turning to see who had done that to him. “Nolan? What are you doing here?”

Seriously? What was I doing here? I was about to unleash. I felt Sarah move behind me, catching up to me when she heard Reed’s voice. She started, but I put my hand back, letting her know I was good. I had this. I wasn’t going to be his whipping post any more. I loved this boy, the real one that I knew was still down there, but he needed to hear the raw truth. I was hurting, so I was prepared to serve it to him, unfiltered.

With a calm voice, almost scaring myself, I began laughing a little. “I know, right?” I giggled, mockingly. “Like, what would I be doing here…with my boyfriend.”

I was serious now. “So, were you going to just let me know you weren’t coming… maybe with a phone call tomorrow? You know, so I could just wait around and worry tonight. Or were you planning on not calling me at all? Maybe this is how you handle things, like the child you are. You just figured you’d ignore me until I got the hint and went away. Well, I got the hint, Reed. Ohhh, I get it.”

My heartbeat was pumping through my ears now and my lips were quivering with anger. Reed just tossed his empty beer bottle into the bushes and slid down from the table. “Nolan, let’s not do this now. Can we just talk tomorrow?” he was annoyed with my words, I was forcing him into a corner, and I wasn’t going to stop.

“No, Reed. We can talk now. Funny, I see you don’t have a problem talking to Calley,” Reed’s eyes shot to mine with a warning. It was too late, I was gone and there wasn’t any way to stop the flow of venom I was about to let out. “You planning on making yourself feel better by sleeping with her again?”

Calley’s eyes shot to mine and then to Sarah’s, her mouth wide open with shock. She was getting up and shaking her head, trying to explain herself, but it was too late. “No, don’t bother Calley. Reed told me about the little fling you two had. You know, while you knew I was in love with him. You and Tatum are perfect roommates, you know?”

I was so on fire I didn’t notice Sarah behind me, shaking her head and growing angrier. But when she opened her mouth, I was suddenly reminded she was there. “How could you!” she shoved her sister to the ground, kicking dirt at her. “You bitch! You’re my sister! How could you do that to my best friend?!”

Tears were pouring down Sarah’s cheeks now and Reed and I were stuck in our bubble, just staring at each other. He was blank still, unfeeling. And that’s when I knew I couldn’t crack him. He was too far gone.

“You know what the kicker is?” I said, laughing a little to myself and shaking my head. “I got my acceptance letter to Stanford today. I was actually thinking about how we would maybe both go off to college together. God, I’m a f*cking idiot!”

Reed was just shaking his head, indifferent to me. And then he locked his eyes right on mine. “Whatever. Like it matters, I mean…it’s not like you could even afford it,” he sounded superior. Smug. And his words cut through all of my bravado like a knife. Never had Reed made me feel less. He had never commented on where I lived, what my parents did or the fact that I came from something so very humble. He knew how sensitive that was for me, and yet here he was…exploiting it.