Vindicate (Insight #5)(33)
Charlie looked at me with wide eyes as disbelief coursed through her.
“That idea didn’t last long , ” I promised her. “And later we learned that together we were stronger. That somewhere before this life , we made choices that led us here. I’m the one that creates any and all turmoil between us. I do that b ecause I hide things from him. Things he can feel. We ignore the obvious … if I had any advice for you , I would tell you not to hide. Face it, especially if Draven can see the way all of you say tha t you can. It will be painful. I can’t say that it won’t be , but that sharp , instant , fading pain is better than dwelling in the numbing pain of denial day after day.”
“I see now why you ’re so respected in your home , ” Charlie muttered , looking down.
“I’m just like you : a girl who ’s dealing with some really weird crap – at least trying to .” I looked down , hearing the lie in my own words , h earing the echoes of the advice August, Perodine , and countless others had spoken to me over the last few months, hearing them tell me that facing th is fate was my only real choice. That I could not hide from who I was.
I glanced to my side to see Charlie studying every part of me, reading me. I felt her sympathy. I felt her understand the image I was trying to portray to her.
“Ok…maybe that ’s just how I want you to see me. The truth is that our path is only troubled because our calling his high. Just like yours.”
I felt her compassion as h er eyes continued to look over me. I noticed how wide her pupils were ; it made her eyes even darker. I wondered if that was the physical reaction when they ‘saw’ someone. “Go us. The overachievers.” She said with a humorous sarcastic disdain.
I smirked. I liked this girl. A lot. “So when you saw me before, my past , did you see those butterflies. Ones I saw a few days ago?” I asked , quietly remembering how they had led me to a path that allowed me to undo my arguments with Clarissa and Olivia.
She nodded to confirm as her eyes questioned me.
“Are the y the same as yours?” I asked .
Charlie nodded toward Monroe , who was hovering close to Grayson, the older brother. “She told me they were a guide, a reflection of my power. Suppos ed l y, they lead you to what you want, bu t what sucks about that is they don’t override the challen ges you have to face to get there . The y cause everything to come faster.”
“You use them in The Realm , ” I confirmed .
She moved her head from side to side. “I don’t use them ; they appear , and that ’s not always a good thing.”
Her grief and heartbreak that appeared when she said that led me to believe that there was another, someone just as powerful as Draven seemed to be. It almost felt like she had found balance with all that was going on in her life, but the slight guilt I felt lingering around her led me to believe that in the back of her mind , there was someone toying with her thoughts, her heart. I had no doubt that by helping me she was finding a distraction from whatever love triangle she was in. I knew that once this was over, that triangle would still be there, and I wanted to take ever y chance I had to tell her what I had learned the hard way.
I glanced at her , then ahead at Draven , who was growing more anxious the further we walked. “I’m going to give you advice that I have yet to take myself. Love them both. Love them both because we ’re meant to feel love for everythin g and everyone in this universe. Your soul knows where it belongs , and it will never let yo u stray too far from that point. Trust your heart and doubt the thoughts that bring logic – be cause there is no logic in love. Never has been.”
“Are you seeing me?” she assumed .
I moved my head from side to side. “Just taking in what I know about you , your emotions and your intent. The truth I see in you.”
“That ’s seeing . Well , the first part of it. Now you just have to open your eyes and let your imagination take you there , ” Charlie said with the intent to help me grasp this.
“Let’s hope I can do that.” I found myself staring at Madison. “If I can’t…i f I can’t , what kind of impact will Madison make there ?” My eyes moved to Charlie at my side. “Will anyone there recognize her?” I needed to know if my instinct was right. If Madison was battling an internal war with her fate or whatever dreams Nana mentioned her having. If that war would bring more harm than good.
Sadne ss filled Charlie. “Hard to say. She said sometimes…sometimes he sees her, but most of the time he ’s looking at someone else.”
“Drake?” I confirmed .
Her eyes told me yes. “Listen,” Charlie said , almost completely stopping in the string. “I know Madison. I know that she ’ll shut the world away and run. I’ve seen her do it. I’ve seen her make every excuse when someone comes for her heart. If you push her , she ’ll run. For all I know , she ’ll run anyway , but pushing her isn ’t the way to go about this.”
“I won’t.” Didn’t really have time to do that. “Does she trust me? Does she hate me?” I asked , knowing I would if I were in her shoes.
“Honestly, she hasn’t conceived the idea that he’s real. She blocks her dreams from us. The only way Draven and I figured it out was because she sketched his image and Preston showed me who he was when I came looking for you. I haven’t found the nerve to tell her that he ’s real. None of us have.”