Vindicate (Insight #5)(26)

“I don’t care what I look like , ” I mumble d, pushing it away as I squeezed the towel over my long hair , drying it a little more.

She stood and pushed me against the counter and pulled out the conce a ler. “Listen to me,” she said as she started to cover the dark circles under my eyes. “I have no doubt these people see you as a powerful person, someone that can help them fight their demons . I t wouldn’t hurt for you to look more human.”

“I won’t fight them. I’ll kill her , ” I promised , wincing as she pulled out mascara.

“I’m sure there is more than one,” she said as she brought my eyelashes back to life.

“How many ?” I asked , feeling the truth in her words. It was as if she knew for sure. “How do you know?”

“I feel it,” she said as she looked over me , making sure she had done all she could do.

“If I…” I hesitated , not wanting to speak the words that would forecast my death. “If I can’t , I need you to help them. A ll of you , ” I said as I closed my eyes and flashes of everyone Landen and I would leave behind came to me.

All at once , I felt a numbing calm. I t was just as beautiful as the calm I always felt from Landen. The peace I felt in Pe lh a n’s world. It was sustaining, powerful , and wise, but I felt something else: disbelief and fear. Defensively , I opened my eyes and saw an image.

Not one of my images, but a ghostly image of a woman. Olivia was staring at her with broad eyes and her mouth wide open. The woman was beautiful, angelic. Her long hair flowed on an invisible current, and everything about her glowed. She reached for my face and cradled it gently. I didn’t pull away or even flinch. She was to o peaceful, to o beautiful.

With her touch , images came to life in m y mind. I saw her very pregnant. I saw her death. I saw Aden and Draven, their childhood , every moment of it as Nana and their father raised them . I didn’t need an explanation ; this was their mom , and she had died giving birth to them. Through the visions of their childhood , I saw them fight darkness. I saw them question their sanity as shadowed images came to life in front of them, they would speak, they would say random words that seem ed to make no sense, like colors or ph r ases in other langu ag es – even scents, and the dark images would turn to light and fade as if they had been redeemed.

I saw Charlie th rough this ghostly woman’s eyes. I saw Charlie convince the others that they were not cursed, but that they were meant to red eem the damned. They used music. They used music like I used art to channel what they witnessed. They had no idea what they were doing or how they would face their fate. I watched countless conversations abo ut us – about Landen, our world. How they thought it would be their escape.

Then I saw Draven. He was in every image. She showed me h ow he fell to his knees in pain. The image was a cruel reminder of when I’d seen Drake do the same thing. Though in this image I neve r saw the darkness leave Draven. The images showed him fighting in a world that could only be a nightmare. I t wasn’t a fight with guns or muscle, it was a fight with his mind… the things he saw tempted him , and he had to fight to remain sane, he had to fight the addict ion of the illusions before him. Charlie was his way out. He thought of Charlie , and butterflies would appear a round her – glowing butterflies. He would try and refuse her , but she was relentless and made him focus on her, on the emotion between them.

This woman was showi ng me what was in store for me. She was showing me that Charlie had fought this demon. The fact that Draven was here with Charlie gave me hope. But at the same time , I was afraid that little boy – the young man I’d seen in these visions and the young man I’d met a moment ago , had changed. His time in that place had seeped into his soul , and he was fighting this war inside of him. Draven was fighting not to give in and become what the darkness wanted him to be.

I knew the message was not only a plea to help Charlie save Draven, but a warning that the men I bring back from this hell…may not be the same when they return.

“I won’t rest until the darkness has escaped them, all of them , ” I promised this ghostly image.

Her eyes smiled as she faded , taking the peace with her. In her absence , I felt drained, more drained tha n I was when I came here.

“What – what just happened?!” Olivia asked breathlessly.

“That was Draven’s mom. They need us just as much as we need them.”

Butterflies , I thought. What is it with butterflies? I made a mental note to ask Charlie about them, to see if they were a doorway for her to go back like they were for me. Maybe she knew how to make them come back, maybe I could do that instead of this seeing thing. It took all the strength I had , but I stood up and walked toward the emotions of the others in this house.

Olivia was at my side instantly. She balanced me when I would begin to sway. “I can’t believe i t’s been four days since you’ve eaten , ” s he said in a frustrated tone.

“Food is the last thing on my mind , ” I mumbled as we reached a staircase that led to the bottom floor.

“You of all people should know that you have to keep your body strong , ” s he scolded a s she braced her arm around me. “You can’t think like this.”

I swallowed the fury I had with myself. I could have been here hours ago if I had just been able to focus. I guess food would have helped with that.