Vicious Carousel (Suncoast Society #25)(53)

And it wasn’t like they wouldn’t be seeing each other a lot, and spending nights together. But that last little bit of fear in her, she suspected, would disappear if she had a place again that was only hers.

Well, hers and her landlord, but she felt confident Kel wouldn’t just boot her out.

She felt the men’s sad confusion the morning of moving day, and didn’t blame them for it. She could sense how hard they were trying to be supportive of her. She knew they didn’t want her to move, but she loved them even more for not trying harder to coax her to stay.

In the kitchen, she pulled Kenny and Nolan’s arms around her and kissed them both.

“Guys, remember, this isn’t about you. It’s about me. I need this time to make sure I’m giving you two the best me I can. I swear, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re moving,” Nolan said. “That’s going somewhere.”

“I’m moving over to Kel’s,” she said. “Fifteen minutes away.”

“You could stay in the spare bedroom here,” Kenny said.

“And I’d still be here. You guys can spend the night with me there, whenever you want. But…” She tried to think of how to phrase it. “There’s still a little part of me that’s chained up in that duplex living room,” she said. “And I need to get it back. All of me.”

“You have feelings for Jack?” Kenny asked, sounding shocked and hurt.

“No! No, that’s not what I meant at all. I need to let my body and mind settle in and heal. I don’t want to wake up in your house five or ten years from now, terrified that I fell for you guys because I wasn’t strong enough to be on my own. Does that make sense?”

“No,” the men said.

“Do you love me?”

They nodded.

“I love you both, too,” she said. Then she reached up and fingered the shark’s tooth. “This is my collar from you both. I meant it. That’s what I think of this as. But if you both meant what you said that day, if you were serious that you want what’s best for me, let me do this. For me. For all of us. You won’t lose me. But I have to make sure I’ve found the real me.”

Unlike the last time she’d moved, where it was an all hands on deck emergency, it was just the three of them. With all the other stuff now in a personal storage unit she’d rented, stuff she wouldn’t need because Kel’s apartment was furnished, all she’d needed to move were her clothes and things from her room.

In a way, it was reminiscent of her moving in with Jack, only instead of feeling bitter that she’d had to leave stuff behind, she felt free that she had things she loved, that had been given to her in love, and with love, and no one could take them away from her anymore.





Kenny knew they couldn’t stop her, couldn’t force her to stay there.

They damn sure couldn’t chain her, literally or figuratively. No emotional manipulation to keep her there with them.

This was something she felt she had to do, and they had to let her do it.

Hopefully on the other side, they would be able to prove to her they loved her and wanted what was best for her.

Tilly had told them to let Betsy set the pace, and the course, and that was what they’d do.

He’d be lying, however, if he said he wouldn’t miss her being there, with them, and he hoped whatever it was Betsy had to do to finally be at peace happened quickly.

When Kenny and Nolan helped her unload the very last of her things, they sat on her bed as she stood in front of them, holding their hands.

“Thank you for this,” she said, smiling. “This means a lot to me that you trust me this much to let me do this.”

“Promise us you’ll stay safe,” Nolan said. “Use the security system. Be careful. I don’t like you being over here by yourself at night.”

“Kel said it was safe. Tilly and Eliza wouldn’t have signed off on it if they didn’t think it was safe.”

“We’re going to worry,” Kenny said. “Kind of what we do.”

“I know. And I love you both for it.” She squeezed their hands. “Tomorrow night, dinner, here. Right?” She smiled. “And more.”

“Have fun with the girls tonight,” Kenny said, pulling her hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it, tasting her.

“Thank you. I will.”

Nolan brought her other hand to his mouth, kissing it. “Tomorrow night, we’re going to rock your world.”

“I hope so.” She laughed, and it sounded like such a sweet, beautiful sound. “And you guys can even spend the night, if you want.”

“We want,” they said together.





Once she’d bid the men good-bye, Betsy sat on the couch in the apartment and closed her eyes, trying to think about the lessons June had taught her that first day out on the beach on Manasota Key.

Hell, if Ted had asked her that first day she talked to him where she’d be in a few weeks after escaping Jack, she never would have dreamed she’d be here. Emotionally, spiritually, physically.

Romantically.

As much as she wanted to be sharing a house with her men, she knew she needed to do this. Maybe it was a little overkill on her part, but she needed to be out on her own again for a while before deciding to merge households with not just one, but two Doms.