Vicious Carousel (Suncoast Society #25)(45)

Chapter Fifteen


Betsy had almost been afraid at first to admit what happened to Tilly when they Skyped the next morning.

Tilly looked tired, even though it was eight o’clock LA time.

Tilly squinted at the screen. “Lean in. Let me see it.”

Betsy leaned in closer to the webcam on her laptop so Tilly could get a better look at the necklace.

“But they didn’t say they were collaring you?”

She shook her head.

Tilly smiled. “Then it’s all good. I’ll talk to them and suss things out, but I suspect it was a coincidence, like they said. A fortunate one for you.” Her smile faded. “Make sure you write down what happened, though. Talk to the counsellor about it.”

“I will.”

“Part of me’s halfway tempted to order Landry and Cris to go pay that *’s bail just so Eliza and June can take a whack at him. Along with everyone else.” She smiled. “I’d have an alibi. I’m here.”

“How do I know if I’m making a mistake?”

“A mistake in what, trusting the guys?”

She nodded.

“If you’re making a mistake trusting them, then there are a bunch of us making it right along with you,” Tilly said. “It’s not like only one of us thinks they’re okay. I’ve known several of their past play partners. They’re always on good terms with the guys, never anything bad to say, no rumblings about them, no whispers, no one dropping out of the local scene because of them, or avoiding them. They’re the real deal.”

Tilly leveled a finger at her in the camera. “But,” she emphasized, “remember. If you end up wanting to play with them, don’t just go falling in love with them because they’ve rescued you and you’re bonded to them. Try to keep some perspective. There is no rush.”

She gave Tilly a salute. “Yes, Ma’am.”

Tilly had been taking a sip of coffee and nearly laughed it all over her computer. “Smart-assed subbie girl. Listen to me, I will be the first one to tell you if you’re making a mistake. You can always text me if you need to. Call me. Anything. I’ll be your voice of reason until you trust yourself again.”

“How long?”

“For as long as you need me.”

“No, I meant, how long until I trust myself again?” She caught herself fingering the necklace. Yes, she knew it wasn’t expensive. And that morning at breakfast, when she asked Kenny about it, where he’d gotten it, he’d told her it’d been an impulse buy the afternoon before.

Coincidence.

A happy one, but still.

“You know,” Tilly finally said, “if I had that answer for you, I could make myself rich as a counsellor. I don’t have an answer for you. At some point you have to learn to trust yourself again, because in the end, no matter how much our loved ones love us, we are the only ones we can absolutely be certain we can trust.”





Betsy was ready to go when Eliza came to pick her up at four thirty. As instructed, she wore yoga pants and a T-shirt. The instructor was going to work one-on-one with Betsy for a couple of hours before class, teach her some moves, help her with the basics.

Betsy had never taken a self-defense class before, even though she’d always meant to.

Before.

Then after she was with Jack, there was never any extra money for anything she wanted to do, and the one time she’d mentioned it, when they were having a class at Venture for women, he’d angrily asked if she was questioning his ability to take care of her.

Which had ended up with him punishing her for that.

Her mood swings today, in light of what had happened yesterday, were anger and feeling stupid.

Eliza noticed the necklace. “You might want to take that off before we get started so it doesn’t get broken.”

“Good point.” She’d started to protest, that she couldn’t take it off.

That it was her collar.

But it wasn’t her collar.

Danger.

Yes, she wasn’t so blind she couldn’t see what everyone was warning her about, not to fall hard for the men because, reasons.

Rebound.

Rescuing.

Really damn hawt, but still, no.

Not now.

She removed it and slipped it into her wallet. The only thing in there besides her driver’s license and Social Security card.

Not even any money of her own.

She left it in her purse locked in Eliza’s trunk and followed her friend inside. By the time they finally left at seven, Betsy was both sore again in body in places she hadn’t been sore before, and yet healed mentally in some ways.

The instructor, using Eliza first as her demo partner, had shown Betsy several things. And, of course, Betsy scoffed that she’d be able to do any of them.

Until she did.

By the time class started, Betsy was raring to go, with Eliza as her sparring partner.

She actually didn’t feel…powerless anymore.

Jack had been larger and stronger than her. Had she known some of these moves, sure, maybe she could have defended herself. The problem was, she’d willingly let him in and let him mentally and emotionally beat her down long before the impact play crossed the line to physical abuse.

She also knew what she had to do. She did feel safe with the men. She did feel protected with them.