Until the End (Volkov Bratva #2)(7)

-Dad

Lauren looked away from the torn paper, the missing entry from her father’s journal. She vaguely remembered it the first day she found the journal when she had skimmed through the pages, but with everything that was happening around her, she had forgotten about it.

“Why did you show me this?” Lauren asked almost angrily. The blessed numbness she had fallen under over the summer was now slowly dwindling away, the pain returning in agonizing force.

Susan sat at the edge of her bed, opening her fingers where a familiar gold band on a delicate gold chain sat in the palm of her hand. It had a mate, one that Susan had worn for as long as Lauren could remember, but not lately. With her new relationship with Ross, Lauren didn’t fault her for removing it, but she couldn’t help but wonder why Susan was showing her the ring.

“I blamed him for so long,” she said wistfully, staring down at the ring, rubbing her finger over the inscription on the inside. “I just knew that whatever those Russians were holding over him was what kept him there for so long.”

“You don’t believe that now?”

“I didn’t want to believe it, not after the murder, but I’ve always known that your father cared about him.”

Lauren didn’t have to ask who she meant.

“Even when he didn’t mean to, he spoke so highly of Mishca that I was under the delusion that it would not end badly for your father. After…after that night, I blamed them both. Your father because he chose to stay, and Mishca because he was the reason. How could I tell you that I had once hated the boy you had fallen so deeply in love with?” Susan smiled gently, touching Lauren’s knee when she thought to look away. “You couldn’t hide it if you tried.”

“That’s why you were so angry at Thanksgiving, wasn’t it?”

Sometimes, Lauren couldn’t believe how blind she had been. All the signs of who Mishca was were there for her to see, yet she was still surprised when Ross had revealed the truth to her.

When Susan had come to New York for Thanksgiving, Lauren should have suspected something then. It was their awkward demeanor around each other that was a clue, and then there was the fact that Susan had called Mishca by his name before Lauren had even introduced them.

“Yes. It was the first time I had seen a Volkov since the day I learned what your father really did when he went out of town. It brought it all back up again.”

“And now? You act as though you don’t blame them anymore.”

What Lauren wasn’t saying was that much of her anger stemmed from the loss that Susan had suffered as well.

“I can’t blame your father,” Susan said, but it was what she said next that made Lauren stiffen. “It isn’t Mishca’s fault either.”

“Yes, it is,” Lauren said nodding, staring down at a nick in the floor. “He’s a part of it.”

Sighing, Susan folded her hands. “I do not want you to blame him because you think I want you to.”

“I’m not.”

“You think Mishca is responsible.”

“Well, of course. Why wouldn’t I?” Lauren asked, her brows drawing together in confusion.

“Because he was only a child,” Susan replied reasonably. “It took me a long time to come to terms with that fact. I don’t want you harboring that same anger. If you want someone to be angry with, be angry with Viktor.”

“Why are you advocating for Mish? You don’t even like him.”

“I may not agree with his lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean I dislike him.”

Blowing out a breath, Lauren stood, going over to stand by the window, watching the cherry blossoms billow outside in the wind.

“What does it matter now anyway?” She asked.

She thought of what Mishca had said in the hotel room, how angry he was when he learned the truth behind the lies his family kept, and how her revelations had affected his sister. She could still see the fire in his eyes when she thought back on that day.

“Lauren, you’ve been in this room for nearly a month and a half. The only time you leave is to eat. It matters because Ross and I are watching you slip away a little bit more every day.”

“I don’t know what to say to that. How should I be acting? First, I find out that my boyfriend is in the Mob, not just an errand boy, but a high-ranking member, then I find out that his uncle is the one that facilitated my father’s murder. I’m a little proud that I’m doing this well.”

“If I thought it was just about your father, I wouldn’t bring it up.”

“What do you want me to say, mom?” She asked looking back at Susan, annoyed with herself because it felt like the only thing she knew how to do anymore was cry. “Even without everything that’s happened. We could never be together.”

“Come back and sit down,” Susan said patting the spot next to her. “I want to tell you a story.”

Lauren did as she commanded, folding her legs beneath her as she faced her mother.

“This was your father’s ring,” Susan said wistfully, holding it out for Lauren to take. “Before the wedding, he had both of our rings engraved with a saying. Until the end. It was Cameron’s promise. No matter what situation we may have found ourselves in, we promised to stick by each other—”

“Until the end,” Lauren finished for her.